--------- We drove me and another mom together. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Thank you. >> And he won't let me drive. >> So then he's like, "You're sleeping. That helps for sure.
I will say I got a family. >> We did like this. >> Okay. Maybe >> it was good ones like one night stop when we're staying in Chattanooga. There goes the place I found out that
diesels >> a little down. If you don't start pressing your brakes right now, whatever and you look at the other sides of the roads where they have
>> perfect [Music] You know what? They've been sitt I put them in here on Saturday. >> I did ask for >> Sorry. It's all good. We're ready to go.
>> There's a clicker. >> Yes, please. There you go. I was curious. >> I guess I wasn't sure what it was. >> All right. So um I asked Dr. Boatright to come and share we spent last year at the retreat shared cultural proficiency
work and uh Dr. Boat right has done a lot of work um this past spring about kind of the next steps with cultural proficiency and what we're ready for and what the team the cultural proficiency team uh is ready for and what we're ready to roll out with our departments as well as our buildings and utilizing
the data that we have uh to guide that work. And so she's going to share that information with all of you. So I'll turn it over to Dan. Well, good afternoon. So, um, I'm excited about the work. >> I was drinking.
[Music] >> So, I'm really excited about the work that the team did this summer. U, we met late um, just to make sure we had everything in that we would need to pull into the conversations. And this team is really no different
than any other the fact that we seek feedback and then we want to use that feedback in our decisions that we're making and so I'm excited about how we're moving forward. Just as a reminder because I know we've slept since last year and it's been a year, but I want to make sure that you know who's on the
core team um and who's represented and helping to guide the conversations and then um go back to buildings. Um and so as you can see we have a variety of indiv individuals who are represented both on the certified and classified staff because this is not just a um
certified um initiative but it's also with our classified staff. So how are we supporting that? And I will say too that's always in the back of our mind of how do we reach our classified staff and our departments because that work is just as important. And so if you have
questions about that please don't hesitate to ask. Um last year I shared with you kind of the timeline since that was the first time we um really talked in the depth that we did. And so I wanted to bring you a little bit up to speed. And so
last year when we met uh we talked about um what we were moving towards for the 2425 school year. And since that's concluded I wanted to make sure I shared that and then give you a little peak about what where we're headed for 2526. So one of the things we have to keep in mind is that we have turnover. We have
individuals who retire and leave them come to us. So, how do we update and catch up those individuals who maybe haven't been with us for five or six years in the work we've been doing? Um, similar to curriculum, how do we get them caught up to speed? And so, one of
the ways that we do that is we have begun to integrate the uh sharing of the modules um during NTA. Now, it's a very it's a much briefer version of that. So take 10
modules that we've done in a fouryear span and we try to condense that to give them um a snapshot of the work that we've done along with familiarity with the language that they might hear um and things like that. So last year during
NTA we did present for almost um it was a pretty lengthy as the feedback that we received is they really wanted to go a little bit deeper and we wanted to get them into the activities and not just saying this is what we've done but what are the activities that our our teachers had the opportunity to experience and
our classified staff um and take them through that. So then this past year we also um shared out modules eight n and 10. So there was a module in the fall and the winter and the spring and those were developed by the core team. So that
group worked together to develop those modules. Again, we want a common language. We want a common message that is being shared with everyone so that we have a solid foundation. We do give autonomy to buildings to determine how that's going to happen. They may be in
different places. They might have a lot of new staff. might have staff who are ready to take it to the next level as far as in the conversation and we don't want to be the determiners of that but we want to provide the same experience as best we can. Um and so what we do
then is we provide those modules with a guide that helps those principles. I don't know about you guys but the hardest thing is when someone has created something for you and you have to present it. Sometimes it's hard because you don't always know what the thought and process was behind why did you pick that word over this word or
that activity over another one. We really try to make it as um simple and um streamlined as possible for them. >> Can I ask my question? So modules eight, nine, and 10 are building wide, not just new teacher academy. The new teachers
just get the what they already gone over. So one through seven. >> Yes. So those were new this past year. Okay. >> 8 n and 10 were. Yeah. >> So um and then just so you know as we move through the presentation, I'm going to use CP to represent cultural
proficiency. um just a kind of safe space. So, anytime you see that, that's what I'm referring to or PD for professional development. Um so, then the CPT met throughout the year um again that's that course again and um
discussed next steps and in addition we might make update or we made some updates to some of the modules along the way based upon some of the feedback that we received so that we made sure that it was timely and appropriate. And then um we want to empower the principles and
directors to then integrate the culture proficiency work in their PD and their building work. And so there have been times I've met with directors and we talk about okay how does what does this look like in nutrition services? What does this look like in transportation those types of things to really help
customize it because those are unique positions and they might the conversations might be a little bit different than the building. So that was this past year in the work that we've done there. So moving into 2526, we will again um now the overview at NTA
is going to be much bigger because now we're integrating modules 8, 9, and 10 as best we can. Um and so we'll do that during new teacher academy. I think they actually released that on the first day. Um, and then we'll talk about the transition
plan, uh, the cultural proficiency transition plan to I say buildings, but it's totally buildings and apartments. It's not just the buildings. And then, um, we'll take the, uh, CP and we built it into and then how do they take that and build it into their school
improvement plans and their department plans um, so that it becomes just a part of the fabric of what they do on a daily basis. So, that's the direction we're moving. And as you can see, um 256, and I'll talk more about this here in just a
minute, it's really going to be more building a department le versus the district is telling you exactly what to say. And here's all of the verbiage that you have to do. So, we've laid the foundation for the last four years. Actually, it's been five years. And
we've established what um what the what we want it to look like and how we want them to use it. And now, we want them to hold of it and it becomes just a part of the of the environment of what they do. So this is just kind of a reminder about
the continuum that we use and this is one way just one that we gauge where we are in our learning. Um, we use this to self-evaluate our growth, the growth of departments and the buildings and keep in mind that people can move along this
continuum in their growth during cultural proficiency. Um, we encourage uh individuals to evaluate their own growth and where they are along with where their staff are in the continuum and the work. So what we like to do is
we're moving towards culture proficiency but understanding that depending on the topic, depending on the conversation, we might be back a little bit further because that may be an area that we saw a lot of growth to do. So one of the things that we've asked buildings and
departments to do is to have individuals personally evaluate where they are on the continuum, but then have them evaluate where they feel like their building is. because you might be in one place, but the building or department could be in another place. Again, just depending on what your staff look like
as far as have you had a lot of turnover, have you been very consistent and that um and so this is the working definition um and the continuum for for growth that we are seeking to achieve. So,
one of the things that we that I shared with you last year is the team talking about how do we know it's working, right? How do we know that we're having an impact in what we're doing? And so we talked about ways to measure that and some of that can be hard data and some
of it can be anecdotal data. And so last year I shared with you for the first time in our professional development, we do a survey after every professional development day, whether that be building or um cross district. We um
the PD committee developed an additional question that we felt like aligned to the work that we were doing with cultural proficiency so we could measure the impact that we're having. So the question up above is a question that we integrated into the survey
uh 23 24 and I shared this last year data um is in white and so along the um you'll see that anything that has a number that's on the top row that's going to be building. So that that was data that we collected for building
professional development. And then down below that second row that is cross district. So that's going to be your grade level or content areas um and how they felt like this question applied to the work that they were doing during that time. If you see on dates like 20
September 25th October 23rd that means that we had a building professional development date and a cross district professional development day. So half and half. >> Yeah. Yeah. Split. >> I remember correctly. >> Oh, sorry. >> Averages of these numbers. It looks like it went down.
>> These are the averages. >> Okay. Well, like the average building across for each year in cross district all the way across because it looks like this year went down from last year. Like just >> there are there are some areas that went down. So the this is the average for
this question. Um during the August 13th building PD, we took that of every single building and how they were overall. >> I wanting to know if there's >> like a theme like it's gone up for building and down for across like for over the whole year because it looks
like it's gone down if we've looked at that. Like I'm just kind of quickly Okay. >> So they buildings will dig into their own data and they'll look at that as well and and be able to see theirs may have gone up where other buildings may have gone down. So, we give them time
during our professional development um committee retreat to kind of dig into that and that's one of the questions we ask them is if something's changed, what's impacted it? So, I don't know if I'm answering your question, but I don't know that we've gotten into that side of it. >> Well, I'm just looking like even if we
do just do the cross district one, it looks like it's gone down because all of the numbers are lower or equal if you imagine the one. There was one additional one, but I was just curious if we've done anything to look at the wise and why that may have
>> decreased a little bit on that question. >> Unless so this particular survey is um a liker scale and then it's optional to give additional feedback from from staff. So unless they provide it for us, we might not know it. Um however, I have
another survey of information I'm going to share with you that's specific to just culture proficiency. This has more to do with our professional development the others kind of address more what the work we've done with CP. So, you have >> Yeah, I just wanted to clarify if I
remember correctly, it's one, two, three, four, and it's like strongly disagree and disagree. Agree. Strongly agree. >> Yes. Yeah. That's the group that we work with. >> So, really, we're seeing like over three and a half like more
people said like it's a 3.74, right? >> Yeah. So that's going to be your agrees and your strongly agrees. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> However, it could be this in 2425 there were more agrees versus strongly agrees.
Interesting that why not all because ideally it would all be >> yes. >> I just tend to find and I don't know about you all when I take a survey I it's hard for me to always do a really strongly agree. I mean, there has to be it's rare um
>> unless I have a fivepoint scale where I have some more neutrality. So, >> so to Wendy's point though, I think >> like you said, I'm the same way. I It's hard for me to give you no improvement. >> But something to look at, I think, was to look at year over year
>> and what I think what tell me if I'm wrong is that the average for all of the P recessions for the prior year and follow sessions for building went from 3.75 to 3.72.
>> I see what you're saying, but I also can see how that seems like you got six more people that >> but it's something to look at for future years or maybe all of the people that did strongly agree actually went to disagree. You know what I mean? like it could have
been a shift that way versus just moving to >> something to look at and maybe next year we'll have different data and >> it creates the question of why did it change I think >> and I think keep in mind um you know you
don't have 100% now we strive all the time to have 100% participation but it's anonymous and we don't have a way to see who has and who hasn't but if if 10 less people in a building took it that'll impact your score. Um, you know, I think
it's fair to say all of those things are factors. I think it's also fair to look at the timing of when some things happen. Um, you know, for just as a factor, but I do believe to look into it and evaluate it and see what's going on. So,
>> well, you can also pull your completion rates as well. >> Yes, we can to know >> we have a little bit of a wide >> and especially I look at the November 5th at 3.66, which is lower than anything to you know what was the topic >> sure that day
>> maybe it's just a selection of a different topic >> ask a quick question >> how how do we insist 100% participation while maintaining confidentiality so my experience is we do have surveys at my
job that are confidential but there is some mechanism that can report or track whether or not I have participated anonymously Do we have that practice? >> So we can get like Dr. Grant mentioned a a percentage of the completion for a
particular building or across district. >> What one of the things that I've asked buildings and our cross district instructional leaders to do is to carve out time during >> that to do it. Um that is the last thing. So we're going to take the last 15 minutes. I need everyone to log into
the survey, complete the survey. And I think the other way that you show validity to the feedback is you talk about it. >> So unless I'm coming back as a building and saying, "Okay, this was our score last time on PD and this is our score
this time >> and the comments that were that you shared were we didn't feel like it was ABC or we really really liked. So we made adjustments based upon that." And so, um, that is something we talk about after every single survey that we take
as a as a district committee, but then they have carved out time to give them because I I think time is is hard sometimes, right? I go back after a long PE, the last thing I want to do is fill out a survey, right? Is I got to get somewhere, I got to pick kids up, those types of things. So, we look at
completion rates and we ask the building reps to share those numbers with their buildings. And I will say we talk about that because I give them percentages and um if they change I ask them what did you do differently where if your building had a higher percentage rate how did you do that what is it that you
do so that I can take that so two Dr. shares the completion rates of the surveys and so we see okay a building like the last two times we have 50% completion okay we need to go back and we need to have completion and having that conversation because that's important this is what drives what we do
and if we don't have staff feedback then we can't address it >> good okay so um just I I did want to share I know I shared what we did this year but I kind of get into a little bit of the
meat of what was experienced during on the 2425 school year. Um so that you can just kind of see the work that our buildings and departments have been doing um as we move forward. So in our fall module um we talked about these
were just some of the big topics that we talked about. Uh we talked about the growth versus learning brain um and how this embraces challenges. We see the effort as a key for improvement. Uh growth versus fixed mindset is about um
understanding that mistakes are are a part of the learning process. Um and mistakes are accepted as growth and encourage both for students and staff. So take those challenges and be able to understand that it's not going to be um punitive if you're trying something new.
We want you to to experience that. And that's both not just for students but for our staff as well. um that belief that you can develop talents through hard work and that um it's not just something that you're born with and and kind of going in that
direction. So when we talk about fixed mindset or referencing some of the language and um learning that we've done in previous modules, we talk about a survival brain. This is when we get in a mode of we're no longer in the learning
side of our brain, but we're just in the survival side of our brain. Um, this is when we tend to have avoidance. We avoid any challenges. We believe that our abilities are static and we don't have the ability to do that. Uh, we also
believe that intelligence and talents is um un unchangeable. And so, for example, as a former math teacher, many times I heard from kids, I just can't do math. I just don't have the skills to do math. And that would be more of a fixed mindset versus you can't
do math yet. And so, we're trying to understand how the brain functions um so that we can encourage different vocabulary um with our students when we're talking about that. And so, that academic mindset we know impacts students motivation. We also know that
it um impacts community being um a sense of community and belonging in a classroom um and then that which in turn impacts those learning outcomes. So we talked about understanding the brain. So again going back to why does the brain
function the way that it does and so that's been a a lot of our learning is because our reactions and our experiences come from those experiences um and how our brain functions. So, um, there's we talked about the guard dog
response. So, this is when the brain may interpret new challenges as threats. So, going back to the math example, I'm not good at math and so it's threatening to me and so I might shut down. So, how do we respond to that as adults so that we know what we're seeing is not just a
sense of um complacency or I don't want to be a part of it, but how do we respond differently to not um get into a battle with kids and knowing that maybe this has not been a good experience for them all along. Um so, we also have
talked about um negativity bias. So the brain retains negative experiences more strongly especially and I'll give some examples of microaggressions. So negative biases are when that brain remembers and responds to a negative experience up to three times more than a
positive experience. So think back to a situation you had in school maybe when you were growing up. Um and if it wasn't a good experience as soon as you were back in that you immediately go into that negative vibe. You immediately associate that type of experience with something that was not good. So, how do
we change that experience for kids? How do we change that for even adults too because they could have that same um have had that same experience either in a work a different workplace or with a colleague or um even as a kid when they
were learning. So, those negative biases are not always bad for us because they also help keep us um from being harmed and so it can remind us of what's happened. But it's how do we rechan that? And so then we talked um as teams
at our building, we talked about microaggressions. And so those could be um dismissive towards so an example might be is being dismissive towards a cultural identity. Um it could be um the time to properly learn um not taking the
time to properly learn the pronunciation of someone's name and just dismissing that because well, I can't I can't say that and so I'm just going to do anything, you know, those types of things. And so understanding that all of those experiences play into how we react
to individuals. Um, and then negating life experiences. So an example of that could be uh trivial trivializing a or dismissing a student or staff's experience um and then telling them um that you're just being too sensitive. So
it's understanding again how all of our experiences in inform our interactions with other people. So we we talk about that um and then shifting that mindset into validating lived experiences, fostering that self-efficacy and reframing our mistakes to be um learning
opportunities and trying to create a counter narrative. So for some of those experiences for most staff and students and then um the district versus building data and goals. So this year um we looked at um
behavior data and we noticed that there was a dis disproportionality existed among some of our subgroup data in our discipline and so we talked about well what are we doing about it? So we know it's here. How do we address it? And now
that we have this awareness and and what do we need to do with that? And so each group set smart goals to address those gaps and to track that progress over time. And so we took a deep dive into not only the building data, but then we asked them to get into or excuse me, not
only the district data, but we asked them to get into their building data. Does your building? Are they seeing the same trends as what we're seeing at the district level? And we took it one step further, which was um we then asked them to get into their classroom data. So am
I contributing? What am I doing that's causing um this disproportionality? Am I more hyper sensitive to certain races genders behaviors expectations experiences? Um and so we began to look
at that. So we started very broad. That's very safe. We dug down into buildings and asked them to look at their data and have conversations around that themselves. And then we asked them to evaluate their own classroom. That was not we didn't ask them to share that out. it was taking a personal
self-reflection on what was going on and then setting a personal goal for themselves. Um but then as a building or a department they would set a goal for um this for the bigger group as well.
So so that was our fall module. So >> question yeah >> um so with it what kind of discipline data did you look at? We looked at the PDI data and it's also the same data that they pull for their school improvement plans and share with us. So
um but yeah, we pulled the PDI data and we looked at um and we can break that down into different subgroups and different behaviors and time. >> So it's like all of it, not just the big learn. >> Um and then what so when they did pull
down into the buildings and into the class, what kind of were provided to maybe some of the struggling areas or is that something that you'll go into a little bit more like if some buildings are having more of an issue? And we we kind of had we asked the buildings to
talk about that. They know their environment more. Um and it we tried to bring it back to the learning that we've done in the modules. So do you see yourself um you know identifying certain behaviors? Do you lower expectations for certain
students? you know, do you allow behaviors in your classroom that you wouldn't allow for someone else? Um, do you So, those were the types of questions that we asked. That wasn't the only question, but there was a um a set of questions that we just said, here's some talking points, so you don't have
to come up with those on your own. Um, and then asked them to really just kind of do a deep dive internally on, well, what what does my culture and climate look like in my classroom? >> It's hard. Yeah, it is hard to some of the the buildings in very different
places as you can imagine, right? 30 different buildings, 30 different cultures, right? And um buildings. So some of the work that they are doing at individual building level, high school and middle school looking at why tri groups to address certain sod have been suspended for hiding. Okay, what support
are we providing for them when they come back so they don't feel like that's their only option? And so doing some of that small group work, drug awareness as well. um that's really um kind of focusing on those small groups to provide those skill sets as well as at the elementary level um providing
next steps is this seal curriculum that provides emotional support for kiddos that maybe struggle um with that. So those are some of the supports that are there. We have other buildings that are looking at doing uh books. Oh, I meant for the actual educators. >> No, no, that's part of it too. So
providing those layers within all of that partic that goes with that as well. >> So [Music] this is really good information. I'm just so proud that we I was proud
when you shared this first anyway. So just good to hear the the results of of kind of where we're going with this. So let's just say there is a blaring red issue at one school and you know they communicate we're working through this.
These are our action items. How is that trackable? How is that you know how how are people or policies procedures held accountable and where does change happen if it's not working? Do we let the building level facilitate that or is that
>> it's a it's twofold. It's an art of a conversation and we have had buildings where we have brought in the which is the Kansas City Regional Professional Development Center that they will come in and um do kind of an on-site analysis with the principal with their leadership teams and say here's
what we're seeing, right? Um kids don't know um the clear and consistent expectations. Well, that's step one, right? That's the foundation. And so they provide feedback. So yes, there are layers that we can build in and have built in. So there's an outsourced
entity that just >> this can be super complicated at the high school level because um sometimes you're in your own silo and you can get a completely different viewpoint from an educator in a certain department that you know has completely
different for example for me I teach French and sometimes never see some of those students that other subjects do see. And so >> that's where I'm like that is a difficult topic to really cover and make sure that you're making change where you want to make change. And
>> you know where somebody else that teaches a core subject that literally seems like every kid has a very different daily experience than I would. So that's where I went. Those were excellent questions. I think that do cover that. But also I feel like
sometimes our and we can't quite keep up with it. And so, um, those resources that we have in place, >> can you say KC >> KC RPDC Kansas City
>> Kansas City, sorry, another educational acronym. >> Also, our PBIS also has supports through the state as well. So then our winter module um so our our guiding question was how does the environment contribute to the culture and climate of the building and
achieving culture proficiency. Remember we did this very macro look and we're starting to get into a micro look as we moved along um the year. We evaluated the culture climate survey another acronym I'm sorry I should have said that um the culture climate survey data
and building level discipline data. So remember the culture climate survey is the one that we take annually put out by the zoo. Um and when we get those results back sharing what the building so not just what have we gathered internally but what else have we gathered that also contributes or can
either reinforce or give us a different perspective. Uh we did self evaluations again of those classroom practices I just talked about and then had them set goals and reminders for this school year. Um but this was kind of the guiding question that led the winter
module continuing to build upon the first module and the work that they had already and the foundation they had already laid. So fall module got into district data, winter module got into building data. So now they have data from first semester to compare to uh the
district data. So they can do a comparison across the board there. So um yeah, so then in the spring um so we talk about you know how active and passive learning impacts
the learning and in turn impacts behaviors. So again going back to some of the that fixed mindset that growth mindset. Do I believe that all kids can learn? Do I truly believe that? And so, um, when we get into that spring, what are the behaviors in your classroom that
tell you that you truly do have that mindset, um, when we're looking at that. So, when we talk about the active learning and being culturally responsiveness, it is fostering students voice, it's participation, it's critical thinking, it's collaboration, those
types of things that we want to see in the classroom. Um, it's shifting classrooms from teacher centered to student centered. Again, all it goes back to engagement. If you're engaging kids, you're going to see less behaviors because kids are engaged in what's happening. Um, and so we want to
restructure and refocus. And we ask them to do a self-reflection on um passive environment. Do you have a passive learning environment? Um, which often leads to that disengagement. Again, it's hard work because you're having to criticize yourself internally. We're not
asking you to um share, you know, with each other, but are you doing a deep dive and being honest with yourself? And one of the things we've kind of adopted is it's 1% better every day. Am I getting better every day and moving towards that? And we're not asking for perfection, but we are asking for pro
progress in that in that sense. So, um the staff, we ask them to prompt uh one of the prompts on how learning environments affect student behavior. Um especially for your struggling students. So, what are you doing in your own classroom that supports those struggling students who also may then have
behaviors because they're doing avoidant is avoidant behavior. They're struggling with academics. Um, and so we go back to thinking about growth mindset versus fixed mindset. We go back to what's happening in the brain. Did that student have a bad experience with something
that then causes them to react that way? Um, again, building upon the learning that we've already had for the last five years. And then um we asked them to look at that percent of their classroom that actively embraces a student learning um
and then have that power of active process. So that was this the spring module. Um again building upon what they've done each night. So we gave this past year a district culture proficiency survey. So I want to share those results with you. I think
it's important again the culture proficiency team talked about how do we ensure that we're making pro progress um and how do we measure that and so we gave a survey uh certified and classified staff this was not just to
classroom teachers because again this work is across the board and I know it might be hard to see so I'll let you know the um circle up in the upper leftand corner just tells you how many of our staff took this survey so it's 808 responses Um, and again, classified and certified.
So, you can kind of see the breakdown. If it's blue, they've been in the district less than a year. Excuse me. If it's red, they've been in the district 1 to 5 years. Orange is 6 to 10. And then green is 11 plus years that they've been with us. Um on the total certified and
classified employees we have just over00 um on the right hand side that just kind of tells you the percent of classified versus certified who responded to the to the survey which I think is important and then the bottom one um we we just
wanted to capture like what's the level that you support and we have a few who support both levels. role. >> Um, it could be um an SLP, speech language pathologist could support um trans driver.
>> Yeah. >> Driver, right? >> Yeah. >> So, keeping that in mind, these are the questions. Um, and this is a four-point scale. Again, it's strongly disagree, agree.
No, I'm sorry. strongly disagree, disagree, agree, strongly agree. So, um I personally feel invested in improving my cultural proficiency. We had 95.6% of them say that yes, they
felt that that >> the cultural proficiency team develop these questions. >> Yes. Okay. >> Yeah. based upon the work that we've done and the questions we've been asking in the in the modules because we want to make sure that we were um going back to the modules and and the things that they've
been asked is the next one. a little bit lower, but it's a more challenging thing to do, right? But I still think back to our morning conversation right? >> Are we comfortable having
>> I could But I think of 90.7% of our staff that this goes a little deeper. So each question gets a little I think you go from that macro where it's more surface and how we're doing down to it's now
impacting me and what I'm seeing. >> Well, I think that kind of goes back to director your question the strategies. >> Well, it's also self-reporting. >> Yeah. >> Like I'm going to say that I'm cultural proficient but those around me might
not. You know what I mean? Like everybody comfortable saying >> and I can see that. But I can also see like value and a couple of slides ago there was like six people that said nope I don't contribute to this passive I'm like holy cow
>> yeah like gez leadership >> so um that is the survey that we just we gave this past year um I'll talk a little bit about this will be given again
and using the same questions. Um, and there'll be an opportunity for build. So, again, this was very broad. This is districtwide. We're going to ask buildings to now take the exact same survey and give it to your staff. All of your staff was certified and classified. How does your building rate in this
area? Because that could be very different. It might be higher, might be lower. We didn't ask that because we wanted to have a district perspective on that. We didn't ask that question because we wanted to maintain anonymity as much as we could by not asking what building you belong to. Um otherwise go
ahead. >> When was the survey again? >> It was given in March I believe. >> So yeah. >> Are you think you also do it in spring this year? >> Most likely. Yeah. >> Interesting. So
>> okay. So and something else to think about. So I went through and I um been looking at the culture climate survey and I tried to identify some of the questions what maybe could align with the types of questions that we asked on
the culture proficiency survey. So remember this survey is given by MU and so I pulled out um students and staff. Um you can see three years worth of data
and um on the student one they're a fourpoint scale with the exception of I believe that first question was on a two or excuse me a three-point scale. the younger students only scale versus >> how many like participants are we
talking you know what I mean like >> that's impressive numbers but I mean like how many people participate >> I'd have to go back and pull it >> I don't necessarily want it I'm just I'm just thinking like >> so we ask buildings to again carve out time
>> um carve out time for students to take it and um have them pull it up on their computers those types of things. So because I can't see the percent of I can't see it immediately to say hey you haven't taken it in I need you to take it because it's pushed out from MU. I
can only go with I only find out when the results come back. >> We have a better response from students because it's in school time that we let them do that and then parents it's when they go to their email and check it. So I feel like we get a better student response sometimes >> and we do get a better staff response for that same reason because they build
it into um you know staff meeting or day. Again, this the parent one is a little tougher. I I will say the response from parents is a lot lower. >> Question question. So, school leadership addresses differences in achievement between student groups in 2022.
Is it possible to just guesstimate that 200 people participated in the survey? You know what I'm saying? Like, is it >> I don't know. >> Okay. >> I wouldn't want to go that low because that's >> right. I don't >> I just don't know. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's just really impactful to to
I mean obviously we are in well okay that one maybe not the best one but we did improve finally in 24 but I want to see like how respectable are those numbers considering who is how many people are participating.
>> I will say um we learned a lot from the first time we um survey went out and we have had more participation over the years. As to what percentage, I'd have to go back and look at it um to be able to tell you, did we have a 10% increase? Did we have a 5% increase?
>> Is there a reason that 2023 wasn't asked? >> So, it's school year. So, it would be fall 223 school year. Um 23 24 school year, 2425 school year. So, it's asked once a year. >> So, is that a I see fall 2022, spring
2024, fall 2024. >> Yeah. So the fall 2022 is the 22 23 school year. >> It's when the zoo decided. So one year it can be spring, fall, whatever they decide. And it just happened to both in this 2024 calendar.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Got To anony's point though, I do think it's extremely important when we see any kind of survey results that we know how many people were asked and how many responded because I mean I just feel like that the validity of numbers you can't say how valid they are if you
don't know what the sample size is. So just something to keep in mind anytime you do surveys for me personally it almost invalidates them to not have the sample size and have it cool. So hold on
over. So um in 2324 we had prek through 12 parents. We have about just just under a thousand parents participate. 968. >> What parents are we referencing? >> PreK through 12.
>> Parents. >> Yeah. The parent one is not on here right now. Yeah. I thought you wanted parents. >> Oh, >> this is staff by students. I have students. Yeah. students. Oh, in 2425 we had 4,482
student students participate. And then staff we had in 2425 673. So that's 4,000 out of about student population about 14,000
>> and 600 staff out of student population. >> Um this would have been certificated staff only. out of a thousand. >> So 600 out of a thousand. >> That is a
>> it served two purposes. That is a good thing. And she got the >> So both years um staff the staff survey went up because the year before 2324 we were at 491. So that the participation rate increased and then um
actually more students than that participated because the number I gave you was 3rd through 12th grade was 4,482 and then the younger students that participated um were um so um about 2,000
so total of about 6,000. >> Thank you. You're welcome to find it. We had it I just no fine. And then the parent response rate which we do respond did go down to 24 25. I don't know which is converse to the other two groups which is interesting.
>> This is certificate. >> Yes. Yes. Do we do not >> this survey through immune is not >> I don't know why >> I don't know how to turn that >> and that's the survey that through MP
that the state recommends >> otherwise we have to outsource it pay for it which >> so moving into this year um this will be a transition year so we are looking to the team um had talked about culture
proficiency. So this is our transition plan. The goal of this plan is what we have there. So we our goal is to ensure that it is embedded into again the fabric and everything that we do and it's not just a standalone initiative.
So it becomes a part of who we are. Um and so you know how is it impact your vision as a and mission at a at a building? How does it how is it integrated in your strategic plan and your goals? And then how do you see it in daily practice every day? How are you ensuring that it's impacting and that
you are practicing that? >> Why do you call this a transition year? >> I'm sorry. >> Why do you call it a transition year? >> Because we're moving it from being here's the modules, we've written them, you're going to implement them to now
you're going to establish um groups in your own building. You're going to set your own goals. You're going to do some of those things. So, we're transitioning it to buildings principles and department heads being in control of that more than than us driving right now. And they will have to speak to that when they do their school improvement
plan presentation. They'll lay out their plan. They'll talk about their progress and then finish up at the end of the year to share how they've done with this so that >> when do they? >> During their school recruitment plan, >> oh, good question. Very beginning of the year. We'll do that end of September,
beginning of October when they've had time to meet with their leadership teams to do that. They'll talk about their goals for the year, academic achievement results, things like that. And then they'll do uh they'll update the document in the in the winter and then they come back in spring to say, "Here
are results. Here's how we did." >> So those next steps, um these are and again this is that 10,000 foot view. um these are the kind of four steps for transitioning like what that looks like and how you how you take that on. So
that first one we're um asking them to establish a culture proficiency. I say leadership team it can be in conjunction with their leadership team. It doesn't have to be a separate but how are you um in including staff, teachers, students,
admin and or parents in in those conversations. um establish a timeline for meeting regularly and sharing updates. Again, it doesn't have to we don't want it to be a separate. We want it to be a part of what you're doing. So, it only makes sense to actually include that in your building leadership
as a part of your building leadership team. And then conduct a department or building survey that aligns to the the district survey. Remember I just told you we're going to ask them to do that at their building and district or their um department level because then they can see how their building or department
is doing in comparison to the district. So will each building develop their own fall module, winter module, spring module, or are you wanting them to kind of look at what you did last year on a districtwide level and kind of tailor it to the building but use the work that
you already done? >> Yes. So we don't expect them to create modules. In fact, we just want it to become become a part of what they do on a daily basis. So not I'm going to stop and teach a module over culture
proficiency and now we're going to transition to instructional practices. They should all be integrated together. And so how do how do they begin to take that and thread it into every part of what they're doing? and it's not just a standalone activity that they do in the
fall, winter, and the spring. So, phase phase two um is kind of just how are you establishing those goals um with action steps that align to the comprehensive school improvement plan, the school improvement plan, or your department plan. So, we're asking um
buildings and departments to establish two to three action steps that integrates into their school improvement plan, similar to what Dr. Grant just talked about, and then include a metric for measuring that success. Um, we will ask them again to take the exact same survey with those questions that we did
as a baseline for their building, but then there may based upon their action steps, there may be other metrics that they need to use to measure what they're doing. Then kind of the third phase and again all of this is happening this year. It wouldn't just be three years out. Um so
what's the implementation and integration? So how did you embed cultural proficiency into daily practice whether that be through lesson planning, social emotional learning, um behavior expectations and then um they can continue to use the
district provided resources. Our work has been anchored in Zoretta Hammond's book, Culturally Responsive Teaching in the Brain. So, they have access to that book. Oh, wish I sitting on my I'll go and get them. Um, and then the other one
is Every Student Every Day. And so, I'll share just real quickly what's the difference between these two. Um, but and I have those books upstairs. So, this is stuff we've already done and we want to continue to drive them back to the work we've done and not have to do it from the um from scratch. So these
two texts um Zaretta Hammond's work focuses more on that cognitive science framework like how does our brain function and why do we respond to things in a certain way where the every student every day is more that practical application. So if you have a building
or department who needs the foundational work they can go back to Zoretta Hammond. If you have a building who we feel very comfortable and we've embraced this and understand it, we're ready for practical application, they can jump into that. So it gives them some different different avenues to work
forward. So then phase four would be just how are you monitoring and reflecting? How are you checking back in? How are you ensuring that um doing those check-ins? Making those two to three degree adjustments along the way. If something's not working, how are you
addressing that? And so that's when we would ask them to again continue to look at those different metrics and and practices. That is it where we're headed. >> Any questions?
>> Um this is talking my brain because I've been seeing teachers already completing all of their vector training on Facebook. >> Um have we thought about adding like a review to that? Have there been any conversations about doing that? just because I know it's an easy way to reach
everybody because it's required. Um, is that included anywhere in it? I haven't. >> No, but my fear because that's a great way to reach people. It completely is. >> But my fear is that it becomes one of many. >> In that instance, it does and all all
that we have is required by law or some type of thing. But, uh, it is a great way. It's a catch 22, right? It's like we want it to get it out to people to ensure they're going through it, but are they truly paying attention to it
because I will tell you I'm looking over there. You're you're it's playing right >> and you know you're doing lots of things like that. But um you know it's something that we could do. One of the things that because I just wrote a note to myself okay we have 30 and 60 day onboarding with our classified staff
which we get new staff all the time right throughout the year. So, can we embed some of those pieces into that 30 and 60 day training to your point to where it's bits and pieces there versus another training, another module that they have to do? Um, that is definitely something we can talk about.
So, >> yeah, I agree with Dr. I think it's great. It's great point Wendy that you make. I can tell you we just had the meeting last Friday and with Senate Bill 68, Lori Hall is telling us about all this. So now we have to for example
do CPR training with every staff member and you know how extensive that is. So our workound for lack of a better term is let's come there's a couple of trainings that she's very impressed with. Let's take it safe schools we can comply with new law but there's another
40 minutes same training and it and you guys can get out and talk to that. One of their big especially this time of year that they complain about is going through these things. So I'm like Dr. I see the power in this and maybe we can carve out 10 minutes to do something so we can they know our staff knows how
important this is, but it's just it's such a fine moment. Are we gonna >> I know and I would advocate for paying our whole discussion we can talk about because that is their time. Um but I do see the value in doing some kind of refresher course that's not that's
districtwide just to make sure because some buildings may do a deeper dive than other buildings and we might not the survey results come out and that's something that at least we know everybody has a baseline and that baseline continues to be there >> and and I'll make a plug again for Dr.
ride and this team, this core team. So, I work of course with all of the people, a lot a lot of the directors in the district and so bus drivers, nutrition service employees, they're they're not necessarily the folks that are working they work with students, yes, but in a
different way. >> So, when we came to them the first time, this was a couple years ago about cultural efficiency. I mean you guys kind of see I mean that Daryl when Pam tell Daryl that you're going to have to do this his eyes were this big was but
>> bless her heart and her team's heart they came back they met with us frequently and to the point where now we feel pretty comfortable that he and several of others will be able to launch and go forward and work within the departments and I think there's power in that as well because certainly those people are interacting with our kiddos
>> they're part of the village >> they're part of the village It's like sometimes that bus driver is what makes a difference at night. >> They will see they see your bus driver that Yes. She saw when my kid was for a while the world.
>> Um you talked about all the modules one through 10. Now is it possible for us as a group to see those? I know we won't get this whole value because I'm sure that there's teaching involved versus just the modules. Is it possible for us to
vote to I would be interested to see what's being said and taught. I mean, those are hard conversations no matter what. >> Yeah. I'm really pleased to see the emphasis on this area over the last five or six
years. It started off as just kind of this idea thing and I can really see it getting feet and and really having, you know, specific points and not just this nebulous idea. you guys for focusing on appreciate that.
>> And along Denise's point too, um I know last year we had talked about making this a public presentation and then that kind of got lost and there was a misunderstanding over whether yes, we had approved to do it for um one of our regular scheduled meetings. I know that we're being recorded and so that will be
available. However, with us not miked, I'm not sure that we'll have we'll be able to hear everything that you said, especially because you were facing this way instead of toward the camera. Is it possible? Can we do another presentation at a public board meeting um just so other folks who might be interested in what we're doing and the wonderful ways
that we are trying to do better as a district and we do that at a work session or at a regular scheduled meeting? Something I was going to say is for the work session like we want to do it, but there just isn't time.
>> I'm not saying I didn't do it August or September, but last year it didn't happen and I would like to see it happen because I think there's benefit to brag on ourselves a little bit. This is hard and important work and we're doing it. Let's talk about it. I think there's a significant community interest in the
fact that we are doing it. And so, this is one of those things where we can say we're listening. We are working on this and I think it would be great. I was one of the ones that was was asking How are we going to do this? But um if you don't mind, I'd like to finish what I was saying.
>> I think it would be for us to create opportunities for our community to get information like this. So that could be something like here's a something that we're here to talk about.
So I do think it's possible for us to do that. I just don't know that a work session presentation is the only I hear you and I appreciate that feedback. Others have additional thoughts like us one way or the other.
>> Well, I do know that we're going to have conversation here about community engagement opportunities and maybe that's where someone plug that into work to see that happen. We want to leave that around and I would be like if that's something
that we do want I would I just want us to have a public face about this because I don't think that this class is a public face. I do love that this is being recorded so folks can hear it but like I said I don't think anybody's going to be able to hear what Dr. said and she said quite a bit and I appreciate all of the time and effort
and energy put into all of this. Um but yeah, if it is I guess I will table my request until the community engagement discussion agreed to um I'm glad we are going to talk about
community engagement just because I feel like we can do multiple gate regression type setup. Um I do worry that if we put this on one of those that there would be a lot of
people that didn't realize what we were doing. So we would get some feedback of it's unfortunate we're not trying to work on this just because of a lack of knowledge. Um, so maybe if we had it on an agenda and just a presentation, maybe
that would help. >> Yeah, it might just be the 10 minutes. Might not We won't have as many questions. So I would >> Are we Are we saying we want community engagement in discussion or that we want
them to simply be presented with the same presentation? >> My original asked was just to have the presentation at a public board meeting at a regular scheduled board meeting because my understanding was that was going to happen last year and there was some stuff lost in the mixation
whether that was actually decided or not And so I'm saying our open session and so I don't know but again I'm not can't have these
conversations or presentations. I'm just saying it's hard right now. We've done a lot of work that we as a board have to get accomplished. So if we want to start putting in additional time
more effort to schedule more current I'm so Please understand >> I don't I don't think I I didn't perceive it that way. >> I feel like I feel like I'm on the I
feel like you are here to say that I'm totally no. I'm not telling you no. I'm saying guys as a team we have to figure out how to find the time to do the things that we have to get done. And yes, let's
do this. But let's try to possibility of alternative ways in >> I'm I'm trying to to meet you where you are. I'm struggling. I I guess what I
and maybe I don't understand your ask and that what I'm hearing you say is for this presentation to be presented in an open session and I mean we haven't had public speaking I don't know for the past couple
meetings I mean if that happens we have to get that time I feel like this is a reason worthy presentation to be given I think we can make the time to make it happen especially now where this is probably a common topic or more popular topic. I think that the community really
needs to see us engaging in such a way and showing our work. So I I just don't I I struggle with seeing us being so strapped for a time that we can't do it next week. Honestly, >> and that's what I was saying. If we have a consensus to yes, move forward and
people agree that it's worth 10 minutes of a board meeting and the possible 10 minutes or whatever it is of because that's a something else. If people want to come and talk about it, yes, it would be allowed to request it. It's on the agenda. Um,
then we can that way. If there's not a consensus, then we can scrap it and talk about it later. something that many people come to the meeting or watch the meeting anytime So what where I'm coming from is
we as a board are when we go to a board meeting we are there to get some work done and we just heard as a board a presentation to us about this culture that we have in
our district. So for us to have this presented in another meeting to me it feels like oh we just we just did that. So is it appropriate for us to have this be presented to us in another meeting? Like
I I just feel like it would be appropriate for us to allow this this to be presented to make sure that we're presenting this information to our public to our people. But in a board meeting, I just I feel like we're that isn't
necessarily where our audience is. Like yes, people from the public are there, people are watching it, but they can watch that video too. So like I just that's one thing that I just want to be very conscientious of honoring the work that we do in our so
that is why I am saying what I am saying. But I I do think we have avenues to make sure that this information is being presented to our public. >> I'm open to how it happens. I know that last time we had this discussion and spent some time talking about you know
where our audience is and what places to your point of where we can put certain information and I felt like there was a strong consensus that more communication would be good for us. So not just on the website but also actively engaging. I think this is really impressive
information especially when you read into the specific questions that Dr. and her team have asked and do I feel leadership is intentional with these efforts and I think this is another way to prove that not only is building
leadership or district leadership but the board is also interested in learning this information. It's not a check box for me. It's more so wherever we have a chance to demonstrate what we are doing is it's going to be to our best benefit.
So I don't mean to keep referencing 10 minutes Dr. Rightight because I didn't time you. I was truly enjoying what you were sharing but I would really really appreciate having having an opportunity that this be
>> so is it something that we work Dr. work with to get something on the website to share the work that's being done. But then to look at the calendar to do potentially a work session later on because there are a lot of things coming up that we're not to your point, we're not going to have time
in a work session because you've got a lot of work to do in those sessions. But after after that looking towards okay, let's have this as a work session presentation. Um to get that on the calendar, is that something that would
potentially be what we're what we're talking about. >> I'm going to give you space before I say anything because I know that >> I am and I even said it doesn't have to be like I know that we're going to be booked until like January. So like even if it's something that we pencil in for
early spring like I'm open to that but I think it's important that you show the community that we are working on this and that this is something that's important to us. What if we also had like a an update of these are these are how the buildings are working in for part of this year's you know like so
we're halfway through the year and this is >> so that way we have updated information and we have some maybe examples of what the building goals have or what action items they've taken that kind of thing. So, it's just a little bit more of a
spin off of the one. It's not the same presentation but um but yeah, and then it's later in the year. >> I like your idea. I would also like to ask would it would it be a payoff? So, like in conjunction with our website, can we share it to our Facebook page
>> once it's created? I would say just my own personal opinion is I feel like with the work sessions we have a lot coming up and to me a work session you have a presentation but there's work that needs to be done as part of that presentation for me this is
more of an information thing and personally just me personally I would love to see a short recap 5 to 10 minutes in an open session that says you can find out more information at the I just feel like um that there are a lot
of people that either come to the meeting or watch the video and that is an opportunity to get that message out. So that's just that's just my own person. >> Yeah, I think we need a presentation >> not like this detailed just like more
information about what we're doing. My goal was to give less work. >> Last year's presentation which was brand new, right? So you add context to this one and work >> that would be more about condensing that
in the um the first introduction >> and like next steps for this year. I'm happy to do it. I can include that in my superintendence report a five minute presentation. I can ask Dr. Right to speak to that and just say here's where you can find that
information. Now what I would say is that I would respectfully ask for a few months to get the year up and running so that we can get everything on the website and those types of things. So, um, if we can commit to bringing that to
you and getting that part of one of my superintendent report, folks might not realize that that's what you're talking about. >> So, I heard two questions and I just want to make sure I'm on the contract. You're just asking for it to be >> but I'm looking for so maybe not August
or September >> I like reason why I like it as it own is because that way people do have the opportunity to speak to it if they want to and I just want people to know that we are willing will listen to this is that they speak to it before
they hear it. >> But maybe it can be posted before then. >> Yeah. I don't know how that work. >> I just don't want to put too much pressure on you. There's a lot between superintend.
school I don't know right now with room to extend well I was say I don't even know about yet but yeah we definitely look at something >> I would feel more comfortable we left today with a solid understand this is
going to happen just It has been a year and understand with due respect to everyone's schedule we are all busy recognize that we have a very tight schedule busy busy year ahead. If we could prioritize this I think it would
probably benefit us more obviously to get this done as soon as we can realistic. Is October really that hard to see right now? Like I do not mean to minimize anybody's
schedule. I'm just asking for because I feel like we're leading toward now. We'll have another discussion then later. >> I would ask for October. We have a consensus and it's in the minutes. We're all on the same.
>> Sober is cool. It's holiday season. I'm just listen. Okay. >> Whatever things to consider. So November is I'm good with November. >> And it can always be adjusted.
Oh my goodness. Thank you. >> Thank you so much. >> You're welcome. Okay, it's 2 o'clock. >> How about 10 after? You are not very far on your cake. >> Are you guys competing? >> No, I was just in front that big old
thing. >> Look where he's at. >> I'm trying. >> Hey, I broke my tooth. Just eating. >> Yes. Eating the Here's the funny thing. It's always something. So, I'm chopping using my fork and my knife to chop the
cinn and I know bite down in the cinn >> and broke my tooth. >> So, I'm having some hesitancy with getting it too cold or anything, but was like it's usually no pain when it's that low. And that's serving true right now.
I just don't want to get surprised, you know. Oxy >> ox. >> Oh no. >> They're wonderful, guys. Absolutely. >> Is it like a like a steak?
>> It's It's just the tail of the ox. >> Sounds gross to me. Sorry. >> How do you cook it? >> Um, I cook it in the crock pot. >> Okay. >> First, I sear the meat. >> Um, butter and olive oil, nice season,
and all that fun stuff. And >> then I uh make a gravy, put it in the crock pot, add beef broth, and let it cook for hours. I mean, I turn it on. Forget about it. It's almost a risky. >> It's wonderful.
>> So, is it in like small chunks or shredded or one big piece of meat or >> hate to get very specific? But it's the tail, >> right? It's chopped in blocks. >> Okay. >> So, you've got blocks all the way down to the tip of the tail.
>> Put all the chopped blocks in the crock pot. >> You serve it with something like >> Yep. I've got butter beans in the crock pot with it. And then you serve it on a bed of rice. with maybe cornbread or something.
>> It's so I can show you a photo of it. >> I believe you just don't sound appealing to me. >> I know, >> but I'm really bad about liking, you know, like fat and I don't think there's a lot of fat in it, too. >> Well, there is. >> There is. Well, then maybe I would look
at >> Oh, you do like >> I do like fat. I thought you >> I thought you did it. Okay. Now, >> I mean, that's where the for me that's where the You're right. Now, this is what my son did. Okay. So, here's the
>> Here's my pre preo to let people know this is about >> I have no idea what my son's filming this. I have no idea what he's filming. Oh my gosh, I just got so nervous. And I don't know. I could have been in my Uber. So, I'm so sorry.
But anyway, you put it on the top of the stove, right? And you just put the olive oil, flavor it, you season it. See, there's you just kind of >> there is I mean it's it's a nice one. Here you go.
It's so good. >> I try not to get sugar, but >> I've got two flavoring the seasoning. I put the bean broth in there. Cook it up a little bit. Pour it on top of both. >> So, we'll be in less than an hour.
>> We got two more things. >> We have two more things. >> Oh, yeah. >> Warm chocolate chip cookies. >> I saw three. I thought it was three. >> I had three. >> I don't know where you got from >> Denise.
>> I know. And I don't usually question Denise. Like, hey, >> it was [Music] >> I've never cut from every single one. Right. Okay. So, we did
>> I thought you did. Okay, cool. Well, I'll just follow her. [Music] >> This Well, she committed the camera. Hopefully, they edit like saying, >> but I also feel like people are busy and
it's not that people are putting you off or change their mind. It's just people are busy >> sometimes, especially those >> Dr. How much longer are we going to be here? >> We're done at three. >> Okay, >> that's what it's posted. We're done at
three. But I thought she said four. >> I don't know what email she was looking to. >> So that's what I sent out to you also. I just >> think so. >> I didn't know how long.
>> Well, I have 30 minutes for each, but >> Oh, right. How's that? >> I mean, whatever. >> Whatever you guys say. I got oxtails in the crock pot. >> Is it just plain oxtails? Like how do
you make oxtails? Because I've only heard of it like Spanish soup. >> Why do I feel like like y'all knew about the garnishment but no one knows about oxtails. This is so funny. >> Talk about cultural promotion when I was like what do I do with this
>> oxtail? So basically it's the tail of the ox obviously right? So you >> it's not like >> you take you take the the hair off and you chop it up in blocks >> and you throw it in the crock pot. You sear it.
>> Sear it first. Put it in the crock pot. Put your seasonings and gravy and stuff in there and let it go. >> So but then like becomes like a ste. It all falls off the boat. >> It depends on how long you cook it. Really depends on how long you cook it. >> And that's what you're worried about.
touch my wife and turn the crock pot off because I don't want to stew. >> It's really good. I mean, it's not healthy. It's got lots of fat >> and all that stuff. But you get you a bed of rice, some of that soup, beans.
>> Although it's not. >> What kind of beans? >> Butter beans. When I got oxtail and tongue, >> my friend, a Spanish teacher took them cuz I was like, I know how to cook these. >> No, I don't eat the tongue. >> I don't eat pigs feet.
I'll take your word for it. >> I had >> What is it? Don't tell my friend. >> It's delicious, but it's so unethical. >> Was it expensive? >> Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
>> This was like $1,000. Not big money, but >> Well, the whole thing. That was the only part of it. But do you like liver? >> Because it does have a liver taste, I think. >> So, >> for a long time, I didn't like it. Yes.
I like duck, but I did not like, >> but now I do. >> It's one of those like I'm just one of those people that I'm always like, you serve it to me, I will eat it. >> Maybe not. I may not eat it again. >> Right. >> But, you know, those French are always
like, "We're going to have I scoot it over. [Applause] >> Um, next up we had kind of conversations regarding community engagement. Um, I did want to take just a moment um to share with you within my 30-day plan.
Um, part of it was um establishing trust and visibility and laying the groundwork for new collaborative relationships and then planning for the 4-day vote and bond campaign on my first objective within that first 30 days. So, that started within the first couple of weeks
um with this position. I've had about 20 individual meetings not including the individual meetings with all of you. Um, I met with each of the association presidents ISP and MSTA. Met with chamber president,
um, executive director of Drum Farm, both city managers, both mayors, um, city council members, four of the four city council members, um, Jarvis Sudman, director of business retention and expansion. We've had conversations
um Representative Eron Crosley, state senator Joe Mcola, um had a group of parents from Truman reach out to me. So I had great conversations with them about their thoughts and that was very enlightening. Former superintendent Dr.
Rock um I have upcoming meetings with Ken Mlan, Barber, Jennifer Malua. So those are upcoming. I have a conversation with a meeting with our area representative from the state board of education, John
Otto. He was just recently appointed to the state board by um our governor Kho. So he and I are having a conversation I believe Friday. Is that correct? Yes. Is this Friday? >> Um actually Thursday. >> Thursday. Gota
>> it's there. It's this week I'm having conversation. So we're going to meet um looking forward to that. So, those are some of the upcoming events that are happening. Um, attended the chamber picnic. Um, I will be participating in the fashion for compassion as a model.
>> So, Black Lemon Black Lemon um August 9th. >> Black Black Lemon is who is dressing me, which I love her work. >> Um, several of her items. So, I'm pretty excited about that being within there. Um, some of the other
items that we're working on u presented to Kuanas and when I'm presenting I'm kind of giving the state of the district related to our school improvement plan our CIP and our progress there um but I'm also weaving in a 4day research I won't research but our impact so I talk
about our retention rates before and after I am also talking about the years of experience that our I won't call them our freshman class our incoming class has So in 2122 average years of experience for a teacher was 4.4 years.
This past year we're up to 8.5 years. So making a big difference there. Weaving in some of those opportunities there to get that information out when I am presenting. Um when I present u I can talk about our statistics and things like that campaign which you all know.
So I'm just sharing the information. I will be including that in the state of the district on August 20th. So that's kind of that we will take. Um, I will be meeting with young nations. I've had lots of different groups reach out to me and want to have conversations. So, I'm pretty excited about that. Um, and I
will be sharing that same information. Okay. I'll be working to get in front of our sister clubs to share that information as well as other groups. So, I will keep you posted with that as to how we do that. Um, I am planning on inviting the examiner in the weekend to
convocation to share our story and our presentation just to have that out there. I want to get that out there and show our public what we're all about. Um, and I think that's kind of um where I am
currently. Uh, so it's been it's been exciting. worked on the intro superintendent's welcome message on Friday. Um getting that out there. Megan's working on that. Spent a
lot of time out at um IAT registration. So that's going really well. And that's kind of working on the dashboard. Um talked a little bit about that to share information regarding our CIP that will I know Megan has a lot
going on right now so I know that's coming. Um We have developed just building dash dashboards for principles to collect their data updating just to make their life easier. So those are some of the things that we're working on. Those are not outward facing, those are internal.
Um so that's kind of where we are with getting out there in the community. Um I think you talked a little bit about um did you want to talk about the thoughts for the cafe? Do you want to
talk about that? >> Yeah. So I think we had our first successful world cafe event that was hosted by the board. Um I think we have a goal to do two of those this year
it up a little bit. Um we obviously are kind of modeling that from other school districts who've done it but also like that. I don't know that.
I think that Lisa said that you really want to hone in your topic and keep it very specific so that you get good communication about what you're discussing. So I don't know I I don't think it's a
topic that's been discussed or so we talked about one in the fall and one in the spring. Um I think that that's everything else we have on our plate. Um, with thinking through that 4 day vote, then looking towards potential
bond. Um, and a lot of other things going on. I think two would be manageable. Um, so one of the things I was able to do, I worked Megan did this for me. Um, she pulled together the main topics that
came from that first World Cafe event. Kind of the overarching things. Um, so and that was taken from all the comments that were listed. We had a working document of all the that the comments
and so we went through as a cabinet and identified, okay, we're working to address this. Here's how we're doing this. We're already doing this. And so we kind of had that going what the work that we would be doing. And so that was very helpful for us. So the main topics that came from that um
This isn't positive or negative. It was just that they were there, right? Um we have and it's in no particular order whatsoever. We had communication and engagement, staff support and staff wellness, student support and and wellness,
instruction and programs, equity and access, community connection and facilities and innovation. Those were the seven overarching themes that came out of all of that based upon that information. So
thinking through that, if we could, if you wanted to, if you wanted to identify one of those areas to, as President Dixon said, hone in on, that's kind of where we could do if we wanted to do one of those topics in the fall, one in the
spring, something like that to guide that. So that's kind of what I if you all want to have that discussion where we want to go. >> I'm really glad I was say I'm really glad that the um cabinet has really, you know, spent a
lot of time looking at those items. What What are we doing? What can we do? Um I would love to see that information get pushed out. I'm thinking like maybe in the insider maybe what information what the
these seven topics you just >> Yeah. Well, I was thinking >> I was thinking more of what the items that the ISD is doing and what they are looking at possibly doing. That's that's was the piece I felt like that was missing out of the community engagement
is that we listened, but I never felt like there was a really a response as far as um you know, we're gonna try to do this or that or whatever. And I know we can't do everything and I know that everybody agreed on everything that they wanted, but I just feel like it would be
nice to get the information out of what things um are already in place because sometimes people that's why sometimes you don't people don't even realize what's already being done, you know, and then what things are we looking at? I I would just like to see information go
out. I mean, I don't want to make it this huge thing. I'm not sure I want to see it like in a board meeting, but that's why I was thinking maybe the way I love that idea like some sort of these are the seven arching themes. These are
the three bullet points that action items is looking at. This is the timeline when we think we can, you know, like very simple or just a grid. Like I don't think it needs to be anything that um as possible event. I think we have an
opportunity just where we are with our superintendent search. Is it possible to do something along those lines like what would you like to see in the new IST? >> Like and if that was early enough then it could help know where our community is standing as we're making those big
decisions and another opportunity for folks to feel like they are part of the process and the opportunity to weigh in. >> That's what I was going to say. Like I soon, but I figured there would be an event in our working with firm to do
that. And so we could say, "Hey, can we do it in this format?" And you guys help us to to make that action. I don't have it, but and if it's not something included for whatever firm we pick or whatever,
that is something that I think we could do on our own just by asking that question. >> I think it would be very Right. Definitely. >> I mean, that's going to be a chunk of our time in the fall. So, we work
smarter, not harder. >> I wonder if the facilities would work well as we're starting to get close to election. What I'm hearing, I wasn't sure. This was just more of a discussion. the board
just kind of deliberate about what we wanted to prioritize under that's likely not something we want to share publicly or is that important to share as well >> I think just communicating the seven >> these are seven things
>> yeah like we don't have to say that under communication we want more cafes we can just say that under you know under communicating under communic and engage and engagement. These are the three things that we're going to do to
further that mission or objective. Again, none of these are negative or positive. It's just that we're top of mind and I can read this again communication,
communication and engagement, staff support and wellness, student support and wellness, instruction and programs, equity and access, community connection and facilities and innovation. I kind of feel like after, you know,
when did we do this? Almost a year ago, right? So, we would be coming back now and putting something out. Am I be coming back now and saying, "Oh, from our world cafe, you know, these seven things came out of it, but we're
going to have another world cafe, but we're going to focus on what what about a new superintendent? You know what I mean? It just seems a little disconnected right now. >> I think this one would be um these are the overarching themes that came out of
that event and this is how ISD leadership took it on and how they've addressed it and are yeah I think it shows action. It shows like Denise was saying it shows that we didn't just say oh thanks for
coming and then it went nowhere. There were conversations and there were actions and there continue to be. So I think that's important to show it wasn't a waste of time for everybody who went that night. >> Was it on the website?
>> Was there any short description of the event with the graphic? Whatever. I do remember having some discussion about what more we do beyond just posting the graphic and making sure we
could get it posted in other languages. So I think we successfully got it posted in Spanish. Was there any other >> I know for sure Spanish came up. So I know we did some things beyond that. I can't speak to this.
Sorry. I can I can understand where you're It's kind of like surprise kind of thing. >> And I would just say too the two to three things that we would do don't necessarily have to all be action items.
Some of them could be this program is I mean I don't think that they necessarily all of the things have to be stuff that we're going to >> continue. coming in late fall, >> right? >> Two or three things on each of those
showing >> mental health stuff. >> That was one of the things that I gained from the event is hearing from some of our building leaders what mental health resources we have in each building that I was completely unaware of.
>> So, I remember you were asking which one we wanted to lead out with. Am I hearing that we wanted focus on three or one? That's why I remember you. >> So we were talking about the world cafe and
the topics that we wanted and I what I I believe in the spring focusing on the facilities and innovation, but you all were having conversations for the fall one regarding what that would look like. Seems like that would be a good interview question for both of
those MSPA and MJ is you know if we were interested in doing something like this would you be able to incorporate it into your because they both talk about patron involvement >> is something that you'll be able to do as part of that and kind of see what their response is
well and I know that you you all are wanting it sooner rather than later in the fall and I for the district to do that I mean I want to get the first couple months up and running that would happen. So I would appreciate if whatever you all decided that
I was kind of hoping that they would do it and you wouldn't have >> I think let's see I would I can't remember that there >> that's a good question also for the two
top finalists. How do you engage in a diverse broad? I I do think that it would not have >> I think that people in our community that feel more
comfortable going >> right >> I still would like it to be a better in small groups >> and this would be a lot but I would also see benefit in having two events or maybe just separate tables but I think
having administrators and leadership at the table st and while staff is very important and of course we want to hear from them maybe that is a separate event or maybe they're just tables of IST staff or administrator You know what I mean? Like
I think that there's value in separating a little bit. Like of course we want to hear from everybody, but to have both populations together and if I want to talk openly, I don't have anything against our school, but about my school and I'm sitting across the table from
the principal, I might not be so open to share that. You know what I mean? Or that might it could just be separate tables, not a separate event. too. >> Yeah, let's go.
>> I'm just saying it's a beautiful >> I think so. >> Maybe having a different location. I can just tell you just on working with 80s getting sports physical and it's kind of amazing. But we we used to every week to stay Christian because it's kind of
centralized but we have a very very small population from Norn. >> So then what we started doing is and and so this was this was started and then we started bringing some doctors and nurse practitioners to now or horn and our
numbers skyrocketed. So I don't know if that necessarily leads over to parents and their involvement but just based on those experiences I would I would suggest certainly I'd love to showcase man more but maybe Then on the other side, >> I just remember Blake saying there were
some I was so envious of this. You all actually did board meetings at the schools. I remember you saying >> but did you notice more engagement from the community when you asked? >> I don't think so. It was it was nice to
do that. We didn't we had children's activities like the choir was saying parents would come to support the kids. So it left us with small
>> name. [Music] That's not a bad idea. All right. So, what I have is working with Megan on the website or on the written down and then that'll be one of
the interview questions for this fall. As far as that goes, I'm looking at spring potentially doing some innovation um with that and I would actually then again look at bringing someone in to facilitate that like we had last time. So look at that in the
search firm does the one that as well and then like I have written down just broadening the engagement and publicity >> and I was also specifically sending an invitation
to city council presidents because >> I will say I've done a great list of people that will be there Just to piggy back on that, I want to just tell you thank you so much for
targeting some groups like Rotary and some of those things. And I yeah, I just think that's a really good way to get our message out and you don't even have to say, you know, you should vote this way or that way or whatever. You're just getting information. I think that's
wonderful. I'm just trying to think are there any groups of people who are like age up that >> patron and then retired retired
retired teachers >> you said city council >> service As >> Yeah, >> and then the last component which good timing so it's 2:30.
Um, so one of the things to have a conversation about, um, we mentioned recognition, and I think this was something that we had talked about, um, um, but for I guess I'd like to know in your world's mind, what does recognition
mean? What does this look like sound like? What are your thoughts in relation to that >> it's person to person? I don't post >> public
among their peers. I think you know when their peers see that it gives them that and I also think it needs to be something that they would like not something that we think like like you said giving them a flag may not be something
trying to hone in on what would be enjoyable to them. I don't know about dress codes, but they had something that's sometimes when there is for and it cost you nothing.
>> Um I think that um this is twofold. I think it goes back to like our leader because you're promoting things that are the great people that work for us. We're promoting our schools, great things going on in
buildings, but then it also is a more pleasant feeling for staff. Um, and like to what you said, they feel valued. Um, so sometimes I don't know it's
really about what they receive. It doesn't have to be a huge investment financially. >> Are you thinking like individual like awards like you had 100% attendance or are you thinking let's give everybody across the district
popcorn today? I mean what what would be it more general or >> um I think there's some I just thought it was a good idea to try to um highlight some great things going
on whether that be programs or individuals. Um so I think and these are just some things that I see on like local board member pages and it's like hey this was staff member of the month.
So I mean that's one way and I'm not saying we tackle all of them at once. So if we decide we're going to do the staff member cool and then just start there just pick one we decide. So, I don't think it um I didn't have a specific one in mind. I just thought it would be
great to hear and see about some great people in our district one way or another. >> I think it's more intentional and more as well received when my specific role or you know community
services or bus driving. know Anthony whatever whatever whatever I know that can be a lot especially as many staff persons that work in this district. So there obviously have to be some thought process and how do you do
this but I can tell you this every time I meet with the region that I work for names are called even down to the people that report it to me like their names are even called those meetings and so it's just really like It's so motivating and empowering. Of
course, they have money to give us and things like that, but it's just the fact that you saw me working. You saw me doing my job and going the extra mile. Um, I do like the fact that I've seen on some board meetings like they just have
a moment in their meeting where they highlight and call their name, they come up and you know share a quick thank you or whatever. >> So, it's just like kind of it is just one person.
Do we have employee of the month at buildings or district? >> I know I think some buildings do like recognition like at Truman we used to have some at first,
>> right? So, I mean that's kind of fun. I just um I thought it would be great even coming from us like maybe it's something and I think there are two sides of that. I think it's kind of cool to have it at a
board meeting but I also think some teachers would be like now I have to go to a board meeting tonight to you know so I think it would be cool maybe if um if it was even just one of us and like Dr. Grant like went to school that day
and and did in front of that was one of the coolest moments actually for me. I earned a grant through this program fund for teachers. They presented it in front of my students. I had no idea they were coming like they organized it through the building. But just to have that and receive it in front of my students was
much cooler for me than coming to a board meeting. >> So I mean I think for some teachers like your life a lot of times there's a lot of time outside of school as you you have to attend another meeting. It's
more it's not necessarily a recal in front of your peers. The recognition I wrote that down in front of your peers we have the transportation that happens quarterly perfect attendance different things that we've made into a big deal.
Um, and some of the things that we'll be doing, um, is from the cabinet standpoint, we'll be um, every time we go and visit a building, we'll be tracking our visits. Um, is to do something, right? If it's go into a
classroom and give the teacher a 15 minute break, I'm going to read to your class or I'm going to go and help the lunch. You do that for elementary school and kindergarten on that first week of school. They will love you. They will love you. Um helping with arrival,
helping with dismissal, those types of things. Um on the first day, transportation, I've asked the cabinet to be at 5:30 in the morning when bus drivers are getting here to say thank you for being here. And so we're going to be doing some of those things. So I'm
happy to extend that invitation if you want to show up to some of those. ask people to and if we're submitting a Google form and we're going to keep track of we've been here, we've been here, done this um so that we're doing some of those things. And so for me,
like the things I wrote down for recognition or care, we're noticing them. We have consideration for them, we have an awareness of how hard their job is. um you know the mindfulness, the acknowledgement like
Monday and then praise and so incorporating some of that to what we do within our visits. Um that's what we'll be doing on our side of things. I'm happy to extend to all of you. Um now I know exactly when that is but like the
transportation first day of school we're going to do that right and early Dr. getting donuts. We're gonna have coffee. We're gonna have some of that. But >> could you put in your report there's opportunities this coming month or this coming week or even
[Music] >> I need to talk to about >> I was thinking too if we do things at the buildings I don't know how hard this would be but we could have some kind of video of that and then what we can do at the board meeting is show that way they don't have to come.
>> I like that. >> Still pushing it out to be short. >> Yeah, >> this was our favorite recognition of >> I also really appreciate the difference maker that >> was that Megan Megan's doing it. I don't
know whose idea it was, but I think that's great. Um I just um think this would be a great addition as well because not strictly social media. This would be more live
presentation. My struggle was how do we like who are we asking to nominate? Are we reaching out to the community? Are we just asking buildings or >> I think do an open send it to everybody.
some staff member go above and beyond for you and then I mean all the responses but really great stories too I tell you what it feels to be nominated for something
>> even just sharing that email you can nominate it because of this like that even if it goes no further and they don't make it to the board meeting or >> that's something our building does for teacher of the year. Like everyone who was nominated gets the paper that somebody put out for them.
>> You probably print it out and put it in your, you know, your feelood box. I don't know. >> Um I want to go back to jeans day. Is it possible for us to just offer the Mondays that we do have school as jeans
day since those are days that it's not It's a five day like I understand the first day of school not but it could be an easy way only what like a year or so an easy way to say we recognize being on Mondays ain't great
it's an automatic day so one of the things that I'll be rolling out Dr. I I believe that teachers are professionals and I believe that I don't have an issue if they wear and
they can address and so if they were jeans that's my philosophy they're going to address this question and so I don't I don't think it professional. That's kind of nice
with that, too. >> I think that's great. That's what we do in our building. >> Where are we going now? >> This is something Dr. President. >> Yeah. The that was always the understanding if you wear color jeans, you were wear
those anytime. Exactly. Or >> a lot worse than >> um so anyway um >> I won't be sharing that >> unless you don't have it. >> Well, I appreciate that, but I just I
wanted you all to know my thinking and you know that's just my philosophy. >> I think it's a great way to make people feel like they are professionals when you make that decision. >> Yes, >> Dr. [Applause]
>> But it does have to be spiritware. I did say that. central office. >> So I wear um so here's what I have forward recognitions. I in my Friday report I promise I will try my hardest
there. I will admit there are some days it's day to day as that one keeps me in line. Thank goodness. Um so to send out I plan to be here. Now it's not going to be just me. My whole cabinet will be doing that. I won't exactly where they're going to be, but you'll know
hopefully what my plan is. Um, >> would you want us to like email to say, >> you know, what if it isn't? I mean, I I feel like there's there's a point where we're creating more work for you than what you should have to do. What if you
could say there's a day of the month that typically you would aim for doing something in the building and maybe we could say if on that day we're available we would go like my plan is to already be in there at least one somewhere once
a week. That's my plan and I'm happy to share that if you want to show. If I'm not going to be there, if I'm not, I will say there is no way I'm going to be anywhere this with you and I I will happily say that. I don't have an issue with that. Um I won't create things. I
promise. I don't to do if that's kind of what we're talking if if it's on my calendar doing I'll I will share it. Um because that's my plan is to be there for people. I want to be a part of it. I mean that's the joy of what we do. It's not sitting in the office. I will tell
you that. >> Correct. >> By the way, we did this years ago. >> We the board was out of the buildings like this all the time. >> And sometimes there was one, sometimes there
was none, sometimes that happened a long time ago. Is there reason >> we can't have a school? >> We are avoiding we are avoiding the parents um things we should
correct if we're not doing business together. >> I think anytime we have There's always some kind of a open open meeting notification like graduations. Anytime there's more than three, the public knows about it. So, I would be
concerned that if we had more than three and the public wasn't aware of it, like you said, we don't want to have the show up for lunch. You know what I mean? >> I thought it was advertised. Well, at 5:30 a.m.
>> How many times we have more than three issue? >> Yeah, that's true. >> But it takes one >> person to see it and then it's crazy. >> Maybe that won't happen. just we'll be in different parts of the
building. Okay. >> So, transportation, you know, what's happening there at first school. Um, all that Friday, I'll let you know if I'm going to be somewhere that week. If you'd like to show up, just let that from my
>> get the fancy cool So I that's where we are with recognition um the difference makers just keeping that up. Anything else? I had one more
ide >> but I think it made a big difference And I think it made a difference in the community because the community we had billboards all over town trustworthy
for all the school and trustworthy and show up on district website with this little kid telling what trustworthy kids Yeah, we always had um homework.
>> We had a staff member and a student that would get >> awardled that Where where you at? >> I'm just like one more thing. What's the leader? But >> but here's going to be the interesting thing with leader because I think that would be an easy way to do that. Every
building is at a different stage of right now. >> Yeah. >> And if they're not there, then their school's not going to have >> are they fully is this year that they're fully. So there's tier one, two, and three. And so
they all >> are they all tier one? Yes, but tier one is like self-reflection, self evaluation type stuff and you're not at the to where you're implementing >> that tier one last year we had everyone at tier one. So this year we have at
least tier two I'm not sure >> with factmerce every They had a monthly lunch in character. So it just kind of all
>> Oh yeah. I actually when I was in HR I had that. >> I had that. >> Yeah. We had >> a motion to >> six minutes left. >> Feed them and get them out early.
>> That's what Can I do a plan for the bond? >> My focus right now would be >> Are we getting an email today or are we I'll send a smiley face.
>> Oh my god. >> He said he was going to >> adeneral and the audit. I got my email. >> Yeah, I did. But I haven't >> That was like over a week ago. Well, I know it wasn't that
motion to motion >> roll. Are we ready for a roll call? Yes. >> Okay. Carrie Dixon. >> Yes. >> Anthony Jane. >> Yes. >> Denise Spears. >> Yes. >> Jill Ezri. >> Yes. >> Blake Robersonson. >> Yes. >> Brandy Fuente. >> Yes. >> Wendy Barry.
>> Yes. >> Close. >> We are. >> All good. All good. [Music] >> I'm not taking any more candy. Can I ask a quick question real quick? >> So, I said the calendar invite. Does
everybody use the board calendar? >> Yes. >> I need help with it. >> Okay. I thought I heard somebody saying I need help with it. >> Would it be helpful if I like put something on the board but also sent individual invites to each of you?
>> I really appreciate >> I find individual invites also. >> Okay. >> Yeah, I got it. because the calendar for some reason will not sync to my phone. >> That's it. I followed the instruction. I've tried several times.
>> Put like today I put that on the board calendar and then invite each of you that way. >> And that there's no doubt about it. >> It comes to my phone. It's on my calendar and all like it's amazing. I don't know why I can't do it.
problem and not have been using your >> I just don't know why the last two that I got for teacher of the year classified of the year both came >> so I will go through and add
>> to the board add each of you individually and then you can also just RSVP that So unless it's something I need an actual confirmation like there's registration I can just look at that. >> Yeah. >> Okay. I will make sure I get that
>> and that's where like the teacher that you're >> I'm working on my calendar. It would be fantastic if I could just have the calendar on my phone but I have to like go through the app find the calendar let it up. It's like a
disaster. So >> I'll go through and add you all individually and then maybe at the next meeting you can ask to take a look at it. >> Yeah. I mean I want to make it easy for everybody. >> Well, I want to make sure. >> Okay. Thank you.
>> You're welcome. >> Have a good one. >> See you. >> See you guys. >> See you. >> You need anything, Dr. Grant? You need any help with anything? >> Sure. [Music]
>> Yeah. >> Thank you. And I am going to try really hard to zoom in on that meeting. Okay. Yes, thank you for being by whales that day. >> And please note that we're doing 4:30 that day. >> A great
>> Thank you. Thank you. >> Good food. >> Good. Thank you for >> Thank you. >> Bye. Have a good day. >> You too. >> Thank you. Appcate. >> I think you wrote down
[Music] He can't function >> because you thought you would be able to enjo much as possible. Thank you, Mike, very Part: 2
Is it being recorded? >> Well, what's your >> I was little ways to listen. My sister and her husband gentlemen are going. We're going to go to a Broadway show.
[Music] something that nobody's [Music] >> know Amazon. [Music] >> They're not fruit.
[Music] I was talking about kind of knows where >> I have heard [Music] Hard forward started. Sunday morning >> to me Oh my god.
>> I tend to move. >> That's horrible. I can't [Music] [Music] >> you know he was 12 That mom relationship drive
>> back. [Music] Kansas. [Music] >> Yeah, they're coming back today actually. They stay a little bit longer. your daughter.
Um, she did the >> show. Fun summer. >> Columbia. >> It's always been Columbia since I remember. >> I used to go and referee the basketball.
>> And it was on >> the tree here. >> Yes. Just so everyone knows >> happy birthday. >> Is it today?
>> But thank you. Thank you. >> It was actually back in June. I think it's the way Facebook LA just put some pictures on. Oh, okay. Everybody thought it was >> but thank you getting 60 letters.
>> I thought that was a really cool idea that Ellie had very nice I brought you as a bribe. >> Yeah, I have a noise thing that I and it really is a diagnosis called moponia.
Has anybody heard of it? Where there's certain noises that you just you're so distracted by it's like nails on a chalkboard. And mine is gum chewing. So while you're popping or cracking or chewing, it just kind of And so I bring
candy and gum or not gum candy >> to bribe people. >> It's a weird thing, but I was sitting on an airplane one time because you know people che on airplanes and somebody's asked their wife across the aisle. Do you have some gum? and we had been chatting. So, I
felt comfortable with this man. I was by myself and I said, "Oh, are you gonna chew that gum?" And he goes, "Uh, no, not anymore." And he said, "Do you have misophonia?" >> Oh, really? >> Oh, wow. >> And I said, "You know what that is?" And
he said, "My father has it." >> And he was like my age, so his father was older. And he said, "Growing up, we all knew." And sometimes he his father had to like eat in the other room. He couldn't even eat around people because of the mine is not that bad. It's just
>> I don't >> I don't I don't cheating. I just don't want to hear it >> and especially snacking. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It might happen. >> I don't know. I'm trying not to be diagnosed with anything else.
>> It's bad. It is. It is. This lady had a sucker at my belly. She was just in front of me. >> I mean, it was just like, are you hungry? Like, oh my god. >> Okay. Is it Anthony? >> Yes. >> I have an article about this on my website.
>> I wrote an article because I think people should know about it. >> I think so. >> So, you can check it out and see if you feel okay. I'm not a doctor that way. So, >> I'm gonna warn you, don't sit next to
me. >> Oh, yeah. I have a friend like that, too. >> I can also I can actually handle that. It really is just the thumb. >> But somebody told me when I was buying the candy yesterday that um it's the
pitch. She said, "My husband has this, but it's the that um irritates I don't know some well >> have you had it forever I guess >> I haven't in my article I write about like as a kid
>> when we we grew up quite poor and we our vacations were always in south Missouri in Missouri we drove go-karts and stayed at a hotel with a swimming pool and on the way down we'd stop at a gas station and my dad always said everybody can get
one thing so you can get like you soda or a piece of candy or whatever candy and I begged my siblings not to take out. I remember that even back then >> because we were in a car and if somebody was chewing on my car like
they never did. I don't know if they were just being nice or >> that's the only weird thing. Well, I think we're going to go ahead and call this meeting to order the approval of the agenda. Agenda
second. Thank you. And then we're open session. All those in favor say I. >> Okay, there we go. really process.
>> Okay, team development session. Yes, I am excited to bring to you uh Dr. Patty Porum. Um Patty and I became acquainted probably what 10 years ago, 12 years ago. Um she was executive
director of the Mo Aspa organization which is HR professionals when I was in HR and I was on the board as a director for the Kansas City area. And so we got to do a lot of um great things together and she has now moved on to a consulting
business and messy meaningful conversations. And um as I've had the opportunity to sit with all of you and to hear from all of you, I thought she would be a great person to bring in um to lead us through this discussion and I will turn it over to her. Okay. Thank
you. Well, I am really excited to be here. I've shared with some of you. My background is uh I grew up in Liberty just down the road. I was an elementary teacher there. Um became a principal in Liberty of the teachers who had been my
teachers. So it's kind of awkward. We'll tell some more stories about that. And then I fell in love at an elementary principal conference at what used to be called Tantara which is now called the Margaritavville. And I met Brett who was an assist who was also an elementary
principal of St. side and he has three children there. So, it was never an option for him to move over here. So, I moved to St. Louis. I've been living in St. Louis now for almost 30 years. Um, I got a job over there from in the Fort Zumalt school district as elementary
principal and then went back to HR, assistant superintendent for HR. So, Sydney and I got to know each other and then became deputy superintendent in Fort Zumal. Fort Zuma when I retired in 2014 was a large school district four high schools about 20,000 students and
it was really growing at the time I was there. So we had a lot of action a lot of stuff going on about 3,000 employees. I retired from that and started doing this kind of work because I wanted to stay in touch with school districts and
school leaders and I also worked at University of St. as a director in their admin program and taught at the graduate level and also was executive director of the HR association. I decided a couple of years ago that was too much as
opposed to being retired and I really decided to focus on this work. So I let go and I let MoASPA go and now this is the work that I do. I have a book coming out September 30th called How to Have Difficult Conversations as an
educational leader and um I have had the honor to work in about 40 school districts across the state of Missouri and university students and work for the last 10 years. So um it's been a journey and it's been a fun journey and I was really honored when Sydney called me to work with you all. I have worked with
school boards before. A lot of my work is with school principles and you'll see why there's a lot of difficult ations that the principles and directors need to have and in your different roles that you have you find that or if you just have a mother-in-law you know sometimes
you have so um that's what we're doing here I'm glad to be here I want to start I want your voices in the room and I would just like to hear who are you however you want to tell tell me uh what
is important to you and what is your hope for I'm gonna sit down and listen. Um, and I just told you who I am. Um, what's important to me is calm and peace
in my life. That's become important. Slow down and smell the roses as my mom would say. And my hope for today is just that there's growth and aha moments and uh evolution on your part, on my part as we
Okay, where are we gonna start? >> I'll start. Thanks. >> So I sort of independent lived throughout my life. I have not earned any money for many years. I have done a lot of community volunteer
work. Been fortunate with PTA and all of that. So then my girls were older and you know the next step um school board just that was back in 2010 so I've been on a while
and what's important to me probably most people in here are going to say family so I'll start with family but calm and peace is also important in my home and my hope today is just to get to know and um my fellow board members more some
of us are newer and so I'd like to Wendy Bear. I have two kids in the district, an eighth grader and a third grader. Um I currently I was a stay at
home mom for a long time with my oldest son and with my daughter. Um, and I recently, well, last year, reentered the workforce and I am now the program director for the music arts institute here in Independence, which is the community based performing arts academy.
Um, and it's been phenomenal and I love it. Um, I joined the school board last spring and so I've been here a little over a year. Um my what is important to me um
living life to the fullest just making sure um my mom died when she was pretty young. She was only 43 and that's a constant reminder to me that you only get so much time on this earth so make it count. And so that's what's important to me. Um, a hope I have for today is to
yeah, get to know everybody um, a little better, to be a better board member myself, and um, so we've got some big changes and new leadership. And so I look forward to um, seeing how that all fits together and what we can do together.
>> Thank you. Well, my name is Roersonson and I started years and years ago in the Kansas City School District North and South Rock Creek
and I mention that in the background because I'm a state farm agent for 46 years and uh so one of my goals when I started and I told them this because they like
involved in the community does is that I wanted to be on the school board someday in my hometown which was fulfilled and it was interesting I went to several years into that we took over the
seven schools in Kansas City one of which was I happened to be the president of the board at that time and got to enter for the first time as member of the school board and now
school. So that was kind of cool. So what's important to me is giving back to the community and my church and family. And unlike everybody else, I like common peace too. And uh so and my
hope for today is just to get to know everybody individually and have a cohesive here in the school >> and I am um I was born and raised in a small
community in Kansas. Um moved to Independence when I was 21 after I graduated from college. married, my husband, our kids all went to school in Independence. Um, they are all grown now. Um, I don't know if all y'all have heard this, but my baby got engaged this
last week. So, very excited about that. My older two have both have children. So, I'm loving the grandma alive. Um, I'm a CPA. I've been since 1992, so I've been way into the numbers for a long time. That's probably most of you guys.
Love the numbers. >> Um, What's important to me? Probably quality time with family. It's a big one for me. And then also making sure that we do what's best for kids in advance. Um real high priority for me. And my
hope for today is that we can work on communication skills. Um and so that this next year as we go through some extremely important decisions that we're able to do it in a way where all voices are heard and we make the best decision possible for the district.
Uh my name is Carrie. Um I am a mother of three. Um two of my kids have graduated from college. Um that was kind of a pretty big deal in my in my household. We have um
done a lot of service in our careers. I worked for nonprofits and so we were always kind of afraid of that. we wouldn't be able to help our kids get through college. So, that's been a really meaningful journey that we have just finished with two and we've got one
left. He's a senior in high school. Um, so we're getting ready to go through that fun year of life. He turned 18 in September and I think he's gonna stretch my stretch mech. He asked me for a tattoo last week,
right? Um what is important to me? Uh I would say my faith um service and grace um would probably describe the words that would describe conversations that I have on a daily
basis. Um and then my hope for today is um coming together um learning to communicate effectively and um being able to hang up some stuff that just needs to
release. Uh I am from Independence this I I'm honored to be one of two superintendents who came through the Independent School District, myself and Dr. Rock. Um so I'm pretty excited about that. Um married
for 31 years. just had our week ago. No, two weeks ago. Time's running together. Ty and I have been married for 31 years and we have two amazing kids. Dylan and his wife live up in Smithville. He sells fertilizer and
seed for a Brothers Agriculture and he's been doing that for three years now. He just recently took over the crop dusting portion. So, he's been very very busy lately. So, I'm about to see him in a few weeks because working 247. And then
Maddie um lived in uh Boulder for about three years. She was in school online and that was the best experience for her to go away to grow up a little bit and to have to figure things out and she is back here with us finishing up her degree and she will graduate in
December. So tonight and I are very excited about that. Um what's important to me I would say in two words, faith and family. Very important to me. Um and then um family in Miami that I just
talked about. Um my mom and dad both educators, very involved in the community and dad was on the school board as well as city council for many years and then was approached about being mayor and my mother said absolutely not. >> It is time to retire. Right. So they
moved to the lake and um but then also the ISD family because growing up in this community it truly is family with a vested interest to what is amazing for this community because the school district's great, the community is great and it's all about that service.
Hope for today will be um communication um been have been doing a lot of readings and prepared for leadership retreat um about the speed of trust and um communication is everything. It it can make or break and so for me it's
just learning more about how to better communicate and understanding the people that I get to work have the honor to work with um so that we can do and continue to do great things. So that's my goal. >> My name is Anthony,
my husband, my father, just a a community person that cares a lot about progress. What is important to me is relationship both spiritual nonspiritual relationship
is really important to me. Um what I hope to glean today is something new perspective insight. Um I've always enjoy learning how to
communicate differently. I think we all communicate. We just communicate differently and learning how to communicate like others is really important to me. So hopefully there's some light showing. >> I'm
um have three children in the school district um at three different schools at this time. So we have elementary, middle, and high school. So it's really fun time for it. I like to in the thick of it where all three are involved in so
many things. Um, and the family is super important to me. Um, and we're lucky to have our parents still around. So, generally my evenings are me calling like who's going to get this kid because we're outnumbered. So, so it's a busy, crazy time, but I
love it. And, um, I'm an educator myself and grew up here. um and went to like elementary school at Randall but graduated from Truman. So on two sides of of the town there um and then taught
for 13 years at Truman. Um I now teach at Liberty at Liberty North High School. So So education is also near and dear for me and I'm super passionate about that. So I uh think that for today
um We just have some very I think our work is always very important, but this year in particular, we have some huge decisions to make and I would like for us to be a more cohesive group and really understand each other and um get
off to a great start. >> I'm Lance Stout, deputy superintendent of operations. This is my 13th year at ISD and my 34th year public education. Spent 21 years out in western Kansas at school district there. Uh happily
married to my wife Jill upcoming will be our 35th wedding anniversary in January. We raised three sons. I listened to Randy talking about she doesn't know if she's going or coming. I've been there and done that. We had three boys in five years five days apart. Uh they kept us
kept us busy. But you get through that and it's like you're at home and it's kind of that peace now that so my youngest was home this weekend with his wife and a dog and I liked it when they went home. I loved having them there though. So a
little bit about me, what's important to me. Um you know I certainly my family uh raised three sons and now and I think this group knows this. So have two granddaughters and two more granddaughters on the way. So my wife is
very happy and she she frequently tells me, Lance, now you're the minority and she enjoy every moment of that. So anyway, very very fortunate to have the three sons and their families and and that's dignity and certainly faith as well. Um what is my hope for today? I
guess I wrote down and you know I it's a new beginning and I I certainly hope we can all come together work closely together be supportive and kind and um and work together certainly for what's the best interest of the kids in this
community I for what it's worth we wait a little bit you know our last board meeting which was the first one with this group right here was I thought I just left your home I get goosebumps talking agree. [Music]
Would I be thinking, "Hey, can we be done by seven or >> I don't know what to do." Like, what am I going to do? >> I know. That's still >> being a little I I thought it was a wonderful start and I hope we can continue and I've got the game. So, thank you.
>> That's awesome. We got to hear from you. Put me on the spot. >> Sorry. Can we um say what's important to me personally as family school district professionally
not been around nearly as long as most but I hope it's just a successful year. I'm looking forward to working with everybody. I hope everyone knows anything I can do to help. I am more
ideas. What a great group. I want an office here. Thank you. I was driving in this morning. I stayed on the plaza and I came by Vanessa,
right? And I just had to think for a while about the kids who are getting ready to start school. I mean, that's what this is all about. That's why you chose to be in educational leadership, serve on
paychecks to do it. I know that and it's hard work. Um, but we're here to serve the educational community independence to help those little kiddos my freshman year starting or for my grandkids third grade starting to first
grade kindergarten. It's it's a big deal. It's a big deal for them and the teachers and the principles and so it is very important work. I want to start uh the session with a story. This is my husband and I in our kitchen.
And this kind of stuff happens kind of on a regular basis, but I'm just going to give you a story. Last spring, we were standing in the kitchen. Uh, one afternoon and I had gotten home from work. Brett is a retired superintendent. I told you we met at the principal's conference. Uh, we both moved along. He
became an assistant superintendent. And then he retired superintendent from the Webster Road School District if you're familiar with the St. Louis side. And he's a little bit older than I am. So, he retired a few years before I did. when when he retired he said you owe me
six years cuz he's six years old like I got to work six more years and you know what he keeps saying you owe me six years but he's not working so where is that I am happily married whoever said happily married I should say that to um Brett and I are good friends we've
been married almost 30 years and but this is a typical conversation um when I was uh I I come home and make my afternoon pot of coffee and he said, "Hey, don't forget we've got Cardinals tickets tomorrow night and this was a Wednesday." And I said, "Man, I'm going
to be here tomorrow night. Remember I told you I'm going to Jefferson City for a train?" I said, "I'm You can relate." I said, "I'm I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I won't be back till Friday." >> Oh, yeah. >> So, I'm not going to be a couple at the
ball game. And he goes, "You didn't tell me you were." >> And I said, "But I did." In fact, it was right here yesterday. I was drinking coffee and you were probably watching the Cardinals game and he could see
[Music] while I'm talking to you. And I explained to you, I said, "Remember, I'm going to see Julie and I'm going to see my friend Marty." And he said, "I don't know anything about them." He said, "I I don't remember that." Um, he said, "I
mean, obviously, I don't care. I can ask Steve to go to the game with me." Uh, he'd love it, but I just I didn't know. And I said, "Honey, I remember I told you all about it and then I said, "On Friday, I'll get home about five o'clock and I'll just pick you up and we'll go to Joey Be's," which is his favorite
restaurant in St. Louis. So, we'll go to Joey Be's for dinner. And he said, "Well, I do remember the Joey Be." >> He said, "In fact, I put that on my calendar, but I don't remember the training." What happened? What was most
important? >> I mean, this should be easy. We're talking about training. We're talking about a ball game and we're talking about dinner. And Brent and I like each other. We speak the same language. We have the same career path. We have the
same friends. We talk all the time. This is us. This is our two oldest grandkids. And I mean, we we look like we get along pretty well, don't we? But what happened? What do you think happened in that conversation?
What do you think happened? >> I think Anthony could focus on what was most important to him a little bit or what he wanted to hear. Maybe he focus on what you wanted to hear. Okay.
So heard so anything else might have happened. I think sometimes each other so well that we kind of check out of the conversation and then >> anything else happened if we're ever here. What would you say? >> You know, I I was going to
take >> No, I mean not necessarily. No, I I we have this conversation and I'm usually the one, you know, I do you are facing this direction. You have your shirt on. So I think sometimes though our recollection of what we say and what we
said and how we said it is just what our intentions were but not how it actually landed. So how precise you were with recalling everything you said I do I was questioning I was like seems pretty pretty
sharp but you might be that sharp lady. [Music] It's all right. There's one of you in every crowd. >> All right. Take it. >> All right. Here's what might have happened. See what you think about these things. >> Oh.
>> Oh, boy. I think that was fine. My husband says I get my teacher out. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. My husband's favorite now that I do this workunication. Don't get that training son. Don't train.
>> Ouch. Okay, now I will take that one. See, things happen in good communication. And what I learned when I became a principal at age 28 in Liberty, Missouri, is that if communication with
BR, with a friend, with a husband, with somebody you know that speaks the same language that you get along with, that you talk with all the time, if that can be tough, if that can be tricky, if there can be mishaps in that kind of communication, what happens when we put ourselves in
difficult, messy situations? What happens when there are emotions? What happens when there are different sides or perspectives or opinions? What happens like when I became an educational leader, when somebody's job
is on the line, when somebody's reputation is on the line? And this is going to be embarrassing. So, I learned that communication can be tricky even in the best of situations, but you're in messy situations. It can
be frightening. It can be scary. And on a side note, these guys are going to help you. These are my grandkids. Uh at the bottom on the left is Mlin. He's eight. Miles in the Blues jersey is six. Riley, the only girl, is five, and she
is in charge, in case you're wondering. And her little brother Tate. And they've given me their permission to use them in my slide. So you'll see them throughout. But what and here's the only time a grandkid has ever been put in tie knot. But Miles was put tie knot. You can see
his brother is kind of relishing in the moment there. But what I realiz is in messy situations, in hard situations like we all have as adults, whether it's work here, work there, family situations, friends situations,
community situations, there can be pain. And what I learned as a 28-year-old principal at Liberty is that that pain can be fear. I mean, I was afraid to have conversations with teachers sometimes. They had been my teachers.
>> I I got the principal job. This was before um we had we had assistant principles in elementary. And so I went straight from the classroom of six years to being a head principal in elementary school with about 700 kids. Now, says I'm exaggerating. There were only about
500 kids there, but you know, exact. But it was a big school and it was a big job. And those people had been my teachers, my youth leaders, my Sunday school teachers, the secretary that brought me in the church nursery when I was a baby and now she's the secretary
and I'm the president. So there's just a lot of pain when you know you're going to have to have a difficult conversation in difficult situations. And the predicament is what are you going to do about it? And sometimes what
we do is avoid the conversation. Sometimes we go ahead and have it and it's awkward and we go away feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes we have the conversation with a lack of confidence and skills and it's unsuccessful. We blew it. And sometimes we have the
conversation all out. And so what I learned is there are strategies and skills that we can learn and use that. And what I did was I started watching
great leaders as a principal, as an assistant student for HR and deputy superintendent and life. And I watched people that I respected and that I admired. I'm like, how did they do this? How do they come into this very difficult conversation
where there's so much um nervous energy and angst and disagreement and past issues or whatever whatever makes a mess a mess and they do it with class. They do it with confidence. They do it with ease.
They do it with calm. How do they do that? So I began studying it and learning it way early on. And I learned that I could get better and I could have these conversations and things could be like this. It could be
better. There could be trust and communication. My two um most prideful scenarios I guess that I would say is one I am really good friends with.
In fact, we do everything together. Our family travels together. We went to China together. Her son married um Alicia who grew up in Malaysia. She's Chinese ceremonies and all of that. It was me,
Karen, Brent, Karen's parents, Karen's sister, one happy family. And we we do that all the time. We travel and we all celebrations, all weekly gatherings, birthday celebrations, dinners, um are
together. And I'm really proud of that. And that takes all three people, right? It takes Brett and Karen and me. Um, but that's a relationship that can be sticky and messy sometimes. And this this is not. And our kids wouldn't know anything. In fact, the grandkids are
like, "Now, if Grandma Karen is daddy's mom and grandpa Brett is daddy's dad, then who are you?" Grandma Patty. Uh the other one was the teacher union president in Fort Wal on that side of the state. We have a lot of
union involvement and as you all know we don't have to work we bargain in the state of Missouri but we did and we had a 69 page professional agreement a contract that we worked with NA to do and I had a really good relationship
with her and that took a while to get there because uh you know we were often on different sides of the table. and she was strong and opinionated and fought from her perspective and I was strong and opinionated and fought for my
perspectives and um we worked together. I'm really proud of those relationships and I learned that it can happen with certain strategies and certain skills and it's a journey and sometimes we go back to the pain even though we've kind of gotten there. We go uh this one's
even harder. I'm not sure about this. And that's why we have to get dig deep and reach back to our strategies and our skills. But but here's what I learned and this is how I developed this model is that you can you can learn to listen and you
can prepare and you can learn how to have that meeting and you can learn how to follow up with people and how to continue to build those relationships. But if you don't start with you then it's really hard to maintain.
And what I mean by that is our selfawareness. Knowing who we are, why we're here, what our purpose is in life, our calling, what we really want, what
our strengths are. Knowing what we control and what we don't control, and being able to let go of the things we don't control. Don't you wish you had all the hours back that you lay in bed awake for separating on
something that you couldn't control. So really understanding yourself, your purpose, your past, how you got there, your wellness, how you take care of yourself, how well you know yourself, your control. Once you get a good handle on
that, you can be more calm, more confident, more able to just sit and listen and be still and not have to insert yourself all the time and and be a better communicator,
which leads to better relationships, which ultimately leads to, this is my favorite part, peace, sleep at night, enjoyment, Vacation's not a vacation when you're constantly worried about
stuff you're worried about. And so often that stuff is out of our control. So I developed this model. This is the model that I do trainings with school leaders all over the place. It takes lots of sessions to get through all these pieces and to really work uh
through them. Today we're going to focus on the top what I call the top three which is listening, which is control, and which is care and clarity in our messages. So that's That's what we're going to do today. Uh my goals for today are to that that we can acquire some
effective communication tools, learn to manage difficult conversations, build trust and a common vision even in messy situations. And I don't know any of the ins and outs of independent school district or school
board. To me, you're that district down the road. When I grew up in Sherard, teams played each other, right? >> Um, but I do know this. Anytime you have a team of people, anytime you have a board, anytime you have a family,
anytime you have a community workers, there's stuff that we have to work through and there are difficult conversations when you're doing important work. When you're doing important work. So, we're going to work on that. Building trust and common vision and then considering the
importance of with you because when I began to do that in my life throughout my journey get more pleasing and happier like share your thoughts.
Well, I'll start just as you kind of progress through this of, okay, I can completely see myself in the situation of my husband's trying to have a conversation with me and I'm like, okay, I've got to do this. I've got to do this. I need to go take the trash out. I'm going to go fold these towels that are sitting there staring at me. He hasn't folded, right? And so, you're
thinking about all of those things and forgetting the communication what that is, whether it's my intent that he that he's going to perceive it in a certain way, right? That I'm completely not listening and thinking through all of that. And so, um, I think about the
tone, all of those things to say, okay, if I can truly hear what people are saying that are surrounding me and then they can truly hear me, it's going to be much more productive. Will you do this? And then we'll come back. Will you talk to the person next
to you? Any thoughts that you have? I think we can be in groups of two. Yeah. white bracelet. And it'll say that
What I was trying to say better way [Music] [Music] Why did you ask me a little bit? and let's come back together. >> What I have learned is that listening is a gift. Call it a gift and when you
receive it, you'll know it. And I think u it doesn't happen often enough. especially difficult conversations, but just in general, how well do we listen? And do we listen
to understand or do we listen to respond? And there are a lot of times that you can think about when you wanted to talk about something and they interrupted, they hijacked the conversation.
They brought it back to themselves. Um, I remember a friend calling about something that had happened in my life and she was just checking on me to see if I was okay. And I was glad she called
because I wanted to talk about a feeling I had that morning. And um it was a death of a family member and I started sharing my feeling and I only got that about sentence but in my sentence it reminded her of something that she
wanted to talk about. She started talking. Now she's a good friend and I forgive her and it's okay. Um and what I've come to realize is that she was not in a good place in her life. she was unable to sit still. And that was several years ago. And uh as I look back
and as we kind of talk about that, she just she realized that she was not going through a good time. But when when somebody else calls and says, "How are you doing?" And then they ask questions to further
and they don't talk about themselves. So when I talk about listening and learn to listen and model, I'm talking about one thing and one thing that's listening. We did a lot of connecting this morning.
I had a chance to talk with some of you before this started and I felt like there was a lot of back and forth like I I learned who else was a grandparent and I learned we have a common person that we know and just different things and that happens by connecting that by I'm
sharing, you're listening, you get it. Then you're sharing, you're listening, you So we that's that's connection. But I like to spend some time on just listening. Listening to understand it doesn't mean
don't ever connect. Doesn't mean don't ever share something that you want to share, but it just means listen. I was doing training with a whole group of teachers in an elementary school. There were about 60 and sitting in a
circle in the gym. We did about an hour's worth of work. It was fun. It was interactive. Uh the PE teacher came up to me afterwards and he said, "I wanted to tell you something that really resonated with me." He said, "My father just passed away."
And when you said D, that really meant something to me. And I will take that with me. and I'm so glad you were here. Thank you. That was an important time I thought for me to listen. He had an emotional.
Now, what's interesting is that a few weeks prior to that training, my mom had passed away. Now, see, I could have said that and it would have been okay. My gosh, your pass away. I'm so sorry. I just lost my mom. Would have been appropriate. It would have been fine.
But because I've really been about this. I thought this is his moment. He wants to tell me and it may not be easy for him because he just lost his father. So, I'm going to listen. And after he
said, "I lost my father." And thank you. I was just shar then then the message the experience was about him not about me if I'm going out with a beer with him afterwards
I can talk to him I can share we can connect but in that moment I thought it was important to us another example right now we're taking a to a football game uh in their school district and they had buckled in the back and we were sitting in the front
and they were in their car seats and whatever and Miles was four at the time. and said, "Um, grandpa," as we were pulling out the garage, "Grandpa, my door is open." And said, "Your door's not open." I remember you know, right? See, in the
dash, he goes, "Mile, your door's not open." About a block down the road, Miles said, "Grandpa, my door's open." And Brett said, "Mile, your door's not open, buddy. I can tell. I I know your door's not open. You're safe. Everything's
good. We'll be in the in a few minutes. Couple blocks down the road. I said, "Grandma, will you tell grandpa my door open?" I said, "No, your door's not open, buddy. It's it's all good." See, we
weren't seeking to understand. We weren't listening. Mile or Mlin on the other hand, his big brother is sitting back there probably knowing everything and could have solved the problem if he just would have spoke up, but he didn't because he's probably just seeing what's going to happen. We get to
the all day and I went back to what were you talking about? His door was unlocked and his fouryear-old vocabulary it was open because he didn't have the book unlocked yet. And it made me think of when I was a principal and how many
times people came to me to tell me something and I'd be like, "All right, that I got it. I'm on it. Don't worry about it." instead of listening to my face. So listening is a gift if you can do it. It raises your credibility. It
demonstrates you care. It helps you connect with other people. It makes you smarter. I asked my I asked Mlin, "Why do you think listening is important?" And he said, "It makes you smarter." That's the first thing he said. It helps you understand the totality of the
situation. It invites them to return to you. I know that I can talk to Jill because she's going to hear me now. And that's really important when you're a leader, right? And guys, if you only
have 10 minutes, then that's all you got to say. I want to hear what you have to say. I have about 10 minutes. Is that enough time or shall we schedule? You can do that. You have told that but give them some time and help them listen
or help them invite them to listen. Active listening is listening to understand not to respond. It's listening with all senses. It's listening to remember. It's listening to connect. It's asking clarifying questions and
repeating what they said. And Cindy, feel free to share these slides with the group as well if you guys would like. I listen with curiosity, with whole judgment. I remember when my 93year-old
mother-in-law called us and said, "Well, don't haven't you guys been wondering what I've been up to? I haven't talked to you for a while. We just like, it sounds like you have something to tell us." And she said, "I do."
And I Brett's dad died about four years prior to that. He was the greatest man on earth and and so I started judging why my story if she's happy I'm happy. Right? But
anyway, so often we hear messages and we just begin to judge. You're saying that because what about this or what about this or here's what I think. Well, wait a minute. It's not your story. Resist the urge to think about yourself. Let there be
silence and give them time to constructure. Denise comes to me and says, "I had a rough Monday morning." And I say back to her, "Oh, really? I had a rough Monday morning, too. I hear you, girl. I hope it gets better." And I leave. Instead,
Denise, how's it going? Well, it's been a rough Monday morning. Oh, really? What's up? You want to talk about it? Yeah. This happened. This happened. This happened. I'm hearing the message fully. I'm hovering over what she said.
Well, it sounds like you came through it well. You made some good decisions. You're here and you said you feel good about being here. So, I'm I'm glad we're going to be together for the next three hours. Listen. Uh let's do this. Find a partner in the
room that you haven't talked to yet today and we're just going to spend 90 seconds and we're going to practice listening. Okay. Um, 90. Think about a story you want to tell. It can be anything. Read in your bathroom or a vacation or anything that you want to tell that's fun to talk about. And the
other person is going to listen. And they are going to listen fully out. Doesn't mean you have to be quiet. You can talk, you can go, you can laugh, you can ask questions, you can do anything you want, but stay in their lane. Stay in their pool. Stay in their story.
Don't bring it back to yourself. Focus on them. It's just a listening exercise to practice. Yes. >> Can we take a break? >> Yes. >> Sorry about that. Okay. >> Gosh. What have we been going too long? Sorry.
>> All right. Let's take a Let's take What do you want? 10 minutes. >> Perfect. So, actually, then we'll come back in. >> Yeah. You want to come back in? >> Come back. >> 10. Come back. >> All right. See you then. >> The other thing I would say, too, is I'm recognizing that you guys are having to turn your heads to see the slides. So, if you want to move to another seat to
more comfortable so that you can see everything. >> You're totally fine to do that. Okay, >> I'll leave that open because actually, do you have your key? >> Will you unlock it? >> Thank you.
>> You're kidding. >> It's okay. >> I'll just I'll keep She's named after >> So it's a girl. How did she spell? >> M A C L E N. R is L I N.
>> Must be a popular name. >> It's funny that the two together. Yeah. That's awesome. >> That's awesome. She's got to be good. >> And her baby's six months old. procedure.
>> Yes. >> Ended up. Her baby was a month old >> and they ended up having she was in bed. She never ended up with a plate screws. >> Crazy. >> But yeah,
>> they're back home and stuff cuz that's a blessing. I'm a procedure myself on my shoulder. Everything's getting procedures lately. But my lab is to my rotator and my is
torn. But my doctor goes my rotator cuff because my age should just heal. >> Okay. >> It's a basically well I feel like it's I don't really I mean they've explained this thing 30 times. I
still don't understand, but it's it's like the thing almost like a cartilage in a way, >> but mine is like he's got to go in and like put filler bone stuff in it.
>> I can't step in because there's just so many I shoulder >> my shoulder right now and so we'll get through this year. My mom has has truly made some great
progress. And so with that being said, she at church once we get that worked out. I don't know. >> Maybe what I told you that was >> I would assume
I would just >> This is not something that you wait on. >> It never fails. Maybe the anxiety, the anesthesia, the whole process. So, It hurts good enough. I tell you
sometimes like I need to get this done. >> Yeah, it's it can get pretty brutal. >> It really is. Some days we're just >> other days are like >> Oh, yeah. several months now, but it's gotten
better or maybe that was the rotator. [Music] on our way from Minneapolis. >> 13 and eight. >> We're glad we can help. >> Uh yeah, just right off of it. I was actually >> You guys do anything?
>> No. >> No. >> Sometimes some years it doesn't happen >> and you got to be rolling. Right. Right. >> I don't think it's okay.
>> Remind me what the company is. Is that like in the winter time or else it's from 31 >> I Okay. Yeah.
short term, right? It won't be anyway. >> That's what you answered, right? >> Yeah. I already talked about you. >> Okay. Uh yeah, I'm gonna don't start yet. Oh, are you guys? >> This is a very comp
[Music] with somebody. Perfect. >> The idea is just to practice good listening. So, we're just thinking about >> what it's like to really immerse yourself in this other purposing for 90 seconds. also
see what 90 seconds and you haven't started yet. >> These guys are like >> haven't started yet. [Music] >> You're not listening. >> Story and I'm listening.
>> I am fully engaged. >> Okay, >> great. >> It's all good. Okay, we're going to go 90 seconds. Person A is telling the story. Um, and person B is being a good listener. >> But, you know,
Yes. [Music] I was like, "I'll just [Music] [Music] Now front What do you think? Let's hear from the people who talked. The people who shared. I didn't have enough time.
>> You should have started early. Okay. >> Very, she had very good eye contact. Um, I could tell she was listening. She was, you know, I'd say something, say something. She was nodding her head. So, I knew she was listening to me and that was reassuring. >> Okay.
Anybody else? >> I would agree. And that kind of the agreement and just that acknowledgement of what I was saying that they were taking that in. Yeah, I mean I feel like when he was engaged and was definitely same thing,
good eye contact, naughty and giggling because it's just kind of funny. >> So that made me so >> as this as the speaker, did it feel any different than normal interactions or
conversations or I mean I know this is kind of a lab setting but any thoughts or feelings about it. >> I thought Carrie asked really good questions, which I told her I love sharing stuff with her. She always does. She always listens and asks me questions
and just it always makes me feel very >> heard about to the listener. What were your feelings and thoughts about that experience? The story is totally believable. I I was I literally could see the interactions,
even the furniture like all of the the details of this work. >> Did the listeners listen differently than you think you do on a regular basis because that was your assignment
or are you pretty much doing that all the time? I think it's always hard to consciously sit and not say anything. Um, like I saved the question for the end because I didn't want to interrupt, but like if it had been a normal thing, I would have interjected what did you eat at Pitch?
you know, like what did you order or whatever, but because it does feel like sometimes there should be a little bit of back and forth, but instead just sitting there listening and acknowledging like it does feel >> different and it's harder to do because you want to >> have a give and take too, but there's
also I understand reasons too sometimes just that they're missing. >> Well, and I'm I'm glad you said that because I I need to figure out a better way to describe to do this because I don't want people to think they can't ask questions. But I think maybe you were just honed
into I really want to listen to this. So I'm not gonna because sometimes when we ask questions to your point, it does divert like if you're telling me a story about something and I go, "Oh, when did you do that?" Well, you're not talking about that. You're talking about something
else. And so sometimes it does it does pay to just listen. But um also >> Yeah. Yeah. So thanks for sharing that. Anybody else? I also think too in the world that we live in I think so things
are said that sometimes if people are questioning it's questioning to prove a point >> versus understand what's being said >> and so it's important for me because I can get caught in that especially if I have a perspective right of am I asking
a question so that they'll shift their thinking to the way I'm thinking or am I listening to really understand their p perspective Right. And so for me, the questioning, that's where I can kind of get caught >> for myself. Sorry. I don't know if
that's the time or place to >> Totally. Yeah. I'm going to make a point here and I'm going to look like I'm doing it a nice way. >> Yeah. >> By asking you a question about that. >> I think that too though that's I think it depends on relationship and dynamic
of that relationship. So for example, I can't imagine in your role obviously what you say, how you say it is everything people. But as a manager, like especially like when I really deeply care about the staff person, like and I can't overtly say do it this way
or do it that way. I need to let them kind of think and arrive to a conclusion on their own. But that question is truly from a genuine place to get them to the place to think and use their resources and actually so I think it's really depending on that relationship. they're
comfortable not do that you just you you steer clear but I think it definitely depends on relationship. >> Yeah, I totally agree and I'm glad you said that and also what you're trying to accomplish in in the meeting because maybe it is important for people to begin to think in other directions once
you feel like you truly understand. Nothing that we learn and nothing in communication as you guys know is this way or that way right? we just stack our skills and stack our strategies >> and just and just think about the idea. Anybody else want to share? I think the
type of questions that are asked are really important because if you ask a question that the other person feels like, oh, they really listen to me that much different than asking a question that's moving in a direction or just setting you up to say something back. I
you can tell the difference in those kinds of questions, right? And that's why I was telling I always that the questions that she asks are truly about how am I feeling or you know what did I do next you know I can tell she wants to know what I want to say not she's trying
to set the pace for something that she wants to she's like my mentor trying to be more like her >> yeah and so let's transfer that to difficult conversations how could this benefit you when you're going into a
difficult conversation What I learned as an educational leader in my roles was that I was so anxious sometimes because I knew the situation was serious and it was and it it could turn bad, you
know, it could turn into some things that were messy or embarrassing or job threatening or or whatever it was. And so I was nervous, my neck was red, my gut, you know, was hurt. I lost sleep the night before and I learned that if I could just start with listening with
asking really good questions and preparing for that and really listening I it kind of took me off the hot seat right and and then for example as an elementary principal I walk into a classroom and it's chaotic and kids are
sort of out of control or whatever but I've never been in that classroom before so rather than saying Cammy that was out of control that's that you got to do this. You got to get it under control. You got I I learned that that's not the place to start. This is the place to
start. Was in your classroom the other day. You saw me come in. Um talk to me about that. What was going on? See, then I know her. She could go, "Oh my gosh, Patty, I don't know what happened." The kids just were like, "That is not
normal. I want you to know." What does that tell me? That tells me so many things. She knows that wasn't okay. She was frustrated by it. In her mind, it's not normal. This gives me so much good information.
Or if I go to Cammy and say, "I was in your classroom the other day. Um, I know you saw me in the back. I saw a lot of things happening. Can you talk to me about what was happening or what was going on?" And she goes, "Do I need my am I tired because I don't think you're
supposed to talk to me unless I have my opinion right here. Then I know something else, right? I know where we're going with this and and how I need to respond. So that's the gift of listening is to truly understand their intent, their
emotion, everything about it. We do it with these fun conversations, but really to think about difficult conversations, really getting to the heart of where they are so that you can move forward. All right, let's give the other person a chance to tell something fun. So, you have another 90 seconds. Switch
partners. [Applause] [Music] Okay. So he goes and hustling But this last one came back
and by the name of your kids I'll rest. [Music] >> Okay. That's getting ready. >> Any more ahas
from a different perspective? >> Thoughts, lessons learned. Come back to your seats if you're not here regular seat. >> I have a garden box and I do let it go. I finally tore it down this year. >> I want to remind you of something that
was >> Did you feel like you got some good information from the other person? Did you get to know the other person a little bit more than something you didn't know about? You guys see my problem is that I always think I don't
want to. And so I didn't have time. That was 90 seconds that you gave that person their full attention and and that's not very much time. So I think that gift of you know I've got this amount of time and then in
that amount of time put the phone down give them everything you got and it doesn't have to be. This is some delivery considerations that I put in my But I give it to you as kind of a a memory jogger. Um, and I
want you to look at uh there's two and I think yes, they're next to each other on the side that says PC on the bottom and that is silence is golden. We start with that one. Breathe out for a second to yourself. Silence is golden.
Yes. Sorry. Do I have an example? >> Yeah, but I Yes, I do. >> Um, would you guys share what you think when you read this? Um, I was a journalism major and that is
something that they teach you in journalism schools is stop talking because people get uncomfortable and they'll fill the silence and they will keep talking. But it's kind of the same thing. you want someone to share with you and they're going to feel like they need to fill that space and so they will
>> just I mean you ask a question and it's okay to have the awkward silences because it's the natural inclination to want to try and fill it in I have to be like >> she will fill that space and nobody else
had an opportunity to answer and she always does right. So I guess my perspective was specifically focused on the conflict in the conversation like silence. That's why I needed to like
because I've seen where silence for most people just walk away and disconnect all those how let's say about a um >> there is Do you have conflict, Lance?
>> No, I'm just joking. >> You're so cute. Your face is so red. >> Your neck gets fed. My whole >> Did he get really nervous when I pulled the started?
My best examples are in my experience as an educational leader. So, I'm going to do that. And because you guys are smart, you know, you can transfer to situations that you have. But, um, Lance has been, um, using inappropriate
language, talking negatively about people in the teachers lounge. Okay. He's a he's an employee. And I actually walked in on it the other day and I heard some of it and some teachers have told me that he continues to do that in
and it is inappropriate and it makes people feel uncomfortable and I've never fa I've never talked to him about that. Um but I need to so thank you for sitting down with me today. We have about 30 minutes and I
wanted to talk to you about a concern that I have. Um I walked in the other day in the teachers lounge and heard you talking about family and I know what I'm talking about. No, >> I'm not sure.
>> Okay. >> You were talking about the Smiths when I walked into the teachers and you were saying some pretty derogatory you were using some pretty derogatory words about that family. um and about the children of that family.
And I had I had kind of heard in the past that you made comments and made some people feel uncomfortable. It had never been a formal complaint or anything. Um maybe I should have brought it to your attention sooner, but I was kind of shocked when I did it. And I
just want you to talk to me about that experience or kind of tell me what's going on. >> Well, Patty, if you were subjected to the abuse that that family, especially that mom, um, and how she deals with me
and how she talks with me, I've just had enough. I'm fed up with it. So, I don't know what else to say. I'll try to say as nice as I can, but um, you know, she she berates me and and I'm
very very frustrated. talk about why you choose the teachers lounge and other teachers to share that information. >> I just wanted to know if anybody else had had similar situations or experiences. Um maybe I was out of line
by, you know, getting in there to because I had three or four other people um that listened to me and and I just wanted to get to see if it was just me or if any of them had had similar experiences. Perhaps I was out of line, but I was I'm
just tired of taking it. >> What do you say? Perhaps I was out of line. Why do you say that? >> I was angry and I probably said some things that I shouldn't have in the tone that I shouldn't have. But, you know, after how
they kind of treated me just that very morning, um, when I got back to the bus tomorrow morning, we were, you know, had that opportunity and and upset. >> As you think about that and calling it
to your attention, we all get frustrated. How might you handle that differently? you thought about that or >> I you know it'd be nice if um you know whether it's you or or Darl or whoever but we could kind of have a a sit down come together because I don't think
anybody should be subjected to how they they've treated me and in turn I probably can do a better job of holding my tongue but I I'm very upset very frustrated so I would welcome you know any support or mediation or anything we could do to
help res this conflict, but I just feel like certainly as I've mentioned, maybe I was out of bounds a little bit, but I'm just tired of feeling like I'm the brun of it as well. >> What did you notice? >> There were two times where you didn't
respond and then Lance spoke again >> and and what he said was, "I could do better each time." I noticed He didn't tell me.
>> He invited. >> Yeah. >> I didn't have to do it. >> That's what I mean. >> And I think every time you spoke it was more like share with me, tell me a little bit about >> have you thought about that?
>> Not a this is what you should have done. >> Yeah. And your pausing kind of creates an awkwardness. It's kind of to Wendy's point, it's almost like >> I could be really honory and just play silent with you, but I feel compelled, you know, I feel compelled to say something else
>> and people generally do. Now, sometimes people will be silent, but as the journalists in the world know, just stay silent for a little bit because quite often they will come up with something. >> Good job. Did you did you have a particular family
in mind there? >> But I did I was thinking, >> you know, I heard her saying she works with transportation and I and you guys know it's coming first year is tough >> and I get a lot and Daryl, our director,
he does a great job at especially from the start of school till Labor Day. I'll I'll feel as many phone calls and meet with people in that time frame as I do the rest of the year because they're upset. you know, pick our kiddo up at our front door and all those things.
Well, >> we lost him, but we always the next thing I want you to pay attention to is right under um the silence is golden. Read that one space.
What do you think about that? It's a great visual in my hand because when I go out to dinner with people even socially, there's sitting there know some of blue and they got 80% of the air shut up a little bit less. Um, when I
think of I can't control what other people do, but I can control some things and I can say anything from you, you know, have you taken any trips this summer or things like that to invite people to add to the airspace. When I started becoming a better
listener, I started being really quiet in places and I thought, well, that's not what people want, right? We want this give and take. We want to share what that visual can help us be like have we given Lance enough time.
>> All right. Good. So that's listening. How does it help? Love this picture of of my babies. Uh and the quote from Gandhi, we're going to have conflict. Life is messy. Leadership is messy. Relationships are messy. So it's not the
absence of conflict that we're looking for. It's the ability to cope with it. What's the most important thing about what we can learn about listening? Three words or less. I think >> intentional
>> the full message >> actively engaged. This is energy. Okay, let's talk about you. I want you to make three columns on your piece of paper or device or if you like
some people under that. I think I turned it on. Um, you can use the inside of this if you want to, but just by three columns. We're going to come back to that in a second. Um, but I want I want you to just think about for a moment the idea
of self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It's also the ability to understand how others perceive it.
So there's this thing called internal self-awareness and external self-awareness. What I know about me, my strengths, my triggers, my needs, my weaknesses, how much I got left in me in a day to
give you. >> Then I got to go to bed. was in a work session one time and somebody said, "You know what? It was about 3:30 in the afternoon. We've been working all day." She said, "I got about 10 minutes left." And that was just in her. That's what she had left. She
couldn't keep doing this. Do we know that about ourselves? We know that. And then, do we know how other people feel around us and view us? Leaders who are more self-aware have more confidence. better decisions and
have better relationships and feel more peace. The better we know ourselves, the more other centered we can be. Self awareness isn't isn't
isn't arrogance. It's just knowing enough about me so that I can be still to serve you. In this model, we do things about knowing your purpose, knowing your past, understanding how others view you and
why that matters, taking care of you, and embracing your control. And real quick, I want to This wasn't one of my top three, but I wanted to do a little bit on purpose because as I drove by the high school this morning, um this is really why we're here. So, in your three
columns, um I want you to start the first column, you're going to title beliefs. And just in quick phrases or words in 60 seconds, as quickly as you can, whatever
comes to mind. Spelling You're not going to turn it in. What do you believe? What do you believe? Just write it all down. Personally, professionally, spiritually, however you see it. What are some things that you believe that
you value that you know? What's at your core? Make a list. Keep adding to that as you think about things. And in the second column, I want you to title it actions.
These are the things that you do on a regular basis. So if I were fully out, I would say I meet, I train, I babysit, I talk on the phone, I cook, I sleep, I exercise.
Think about work as well as personal as well as serving on the board. What are things you do? I problem solve, plan. What do you do? And in the third column, you're going to write your strengths.
What are you good at? Interesting to you and fun and comes easy. What are your strengths? Okay. As you think about your three columns and and who you are,
look at them and see how aligned they are. Are you do are the actions that you do every day align with what you believe and what you value? What's at your core? And are they also actions that fit in
with what you're interested in and what you're good at and what you like and what makes you happy. Is there a mic? >> It's a good exercise to do when you're contemplating where you are and why you
are and the decisions you've made to be in a certain community or to serve on a board or to do a certain job or to live a c place. There were times when I worked in school districts that I
thought, is this really the right place for me? Right? They're like, I don't really like that person I'm working with every day. Is there a better school district or a place that's more aligned with my beliefs? And typically when I did this, it didn't make me want to go
someplace else. It made me realize I'm in the right place. I made a good decision by being here because messy is everywhere. Difficult people are everywhere. Problems are everywhere. Conflict is everywhere.
But my love, my value, my beliefs are in public education in in serving people and serving people who serve children. So it began to I really realized it a lot. I don't know if you guys are familiar with Simon Synyn, but he does
the golden circle of why People care about why they do things more than they care about what they do. And that's how great leaders get people to follow them. You know, Martin didn't have a strategic
plan. What did he have? He had a dream and people could connect with that. And so I think especially in our work and I heard when you all checked in a
lot of community, a lot of volunteer, a lot of faith, a lot of family. You are the kind of people sitting here that are helping others. You're reaching out and having an impact on other people. So that's who you are, what people need.
How does that help? What does that make you think about? Why don't you to the people next to you just about any exercise. I got three. >> We didn't know. Yes.
When you finish that, come back. You need a little break. Okay, you okay for 20 minutes? >> We're going to talk about control. >> There are two ways to think about control that I like to think about in life and in leadership. And one is the
circle of control and one is the locus of control. You all know these things. You've been taught it. You've learned it. I don't know how much it's in your consciousness right now. Um, but it's in mine every single day because it this
idea um really liberated me to to be able to have more control over my life because I was felt like I was letting other things control it. I remember 30 years ago when I met Brent at shortly after we started dating, I said to him,
"You make me so happy." And you know what he said? the power make yourself happy and that's why I like you because you're a happy person. I know. See, he's a keeper, right? Even
though he doesn't listen to me. But he's right. And I've never forgotten about that. See, you can't make me happy. You can't make me irritated. You can't make me mad. You can't make me jealous. You can't make me annoyed.
Those are my feelings and I own them. and I'm responsible for that. Think about the two different drivers that drive in I'll say St. Louis traffic. I don't know how independence traffic is or Kansas City traffic, but um when
somebody pulls in front of me, I I let it go because I don't have any control over what they do. They didn't hit me. They didn't cause I mean they may it may be irritating that somebody drives like
that. But I can handle that with no um w with without altering my peace. Like that's okay. Brent, on the other hand, we just can't we can't be here to defend himself. But he has trouble letting that
go. Some drivers are just like I can't believe these people. I can't what's he doing? And and they let it get to them. I mean, that's just a really simple example. Um but but we have to recognize like what is in our circle of control
and what is not in our circle of control and how are other people going to affect us. Let's let's take the first one circle of control for example. Um I had a colleague well first do this write down on on your paper there. Uh I'm
going to give you 60 seconds. Write all the things that you control. All the things you think you're Wendy, will you share your first word? Me. Everybody else share a word. Carrie.
actions. >> Responses >> Glad you owned it. >> You said name >> responses. We have so much control. Stephen Copy popularized this idea of circle of control, circle of influence and circle
of care. And what he says, and he he didn't create it. It's it's been created for a long time, but it's that idea that um it's really kind of silly to spend a lot of time in the things that you can't
control. You can't what happened yesterday. You cannot control that. So why spend time worrying about it, proverating on it, regretting it, thinking about it, going
over it in your mind 500 times? Why do that? Because you can't control it. You can't control the weather. You can't control that the flight got cancelled. You can't control other people
and what they wear and what they say and what they do and how they treat you and how they come to a conversation. Those things are not within your circle of control. So why do we spend so much time thinking about them and worrying
about them and these can get real personal when you're talking about grand kids and kids and daughter-in-laws gets real personal doesn't it think oh man if I were raising those kids I wouldn't have done that I wouldn't let the kid do that
right that's not a good parenting thing I proverated and lose sleep over that because why? I love them. I love them. I want the grandkids to be the best they can be. I want the kids to be the best they can be. And in my old uh where I am in life
now, I can see that that's going to be a problem, right? Well, maybe, maybe not. I'm not always right. But can I control how we raise their kids? Can I influence it? I can. if they come
back to me, if they decide I'm too bossy and they don't want to be around me, I don't even have a chance to influence it. So, thinking about what we control, this first came to light for me a couple of decades ago. I was meeting somebody for
coffee and I was thinking about um it was less than a couple of decades because I had kids and grandkids and uh daughter-in-laws and I I was thinking about something the daughter-in-law had said or done or something. Uh turns out she was right. I was wrong. But anyway,
I was I was letting it bother me and I went and met this friend and she said, "Penny, that's outside of your circle of control. You're not raising those grandkids. They are. Let it go. Why do you do why are you doing this to yourself? Um, so there's things that we can care about and be concerned about
but not do anything about. Uh, I had a member told me this long story about what somebody wore to Thanksgiving dinner and she thought it was so inappropriate and it really bothered her and she talked about it and talked about
it and talked about it and then she talked about this person and how she acts and what she does and how she wears this and she comes to dinner and I said, "Were you hosting the dinner? Was it at your house?" "No, no, my aunt's house." Is there a dress for Thanksgiving dinner? there's none in our house. I
mean, people want whatever they want. >> And she said, "No, I mean, I just think it was in very poor taste." Okay. Can you control that? No. So, why are you spending so much time on it?
Why do we do this? What can you control? You can sit by who you want to at Thanksgiving. You can eat what you want. You can drink what you want. You can leave when you want. You can sit next to that person that's dressing in poor taste and try to get to know her better. Maybe there's a lot of things you have
in common. You can sit by somebody else that you haven't seen in a while and laugh and have fun. You can choose green bean casserole or cranberry sauce. I mean, you have so many choices and so much control. Why did you spend all that time
thinking about that for which you could not control? Does that resonate? And do you think that's important? As an educational leader, when I go into a difficult conversation, I can't control what we did. I can't control how Lance
is going to respond. I also can't control if Lance is going to walk out here and tell all of his buddies that I'm mean or that I did something inappropriate. I can't control that. I don't think he's going to, by the way, I ran that meeting, but I can't think of I can't
worry about that. I can the best job I can in this meeting and try to make this connection the best way that I can and control what I can control. I'm going to shut up for a minute. What are you thinking? Let's share as a big group. Was anybody willing to share how
this is making you think about your control and someone else repackaged it let them know like it's yeah it's the same thing I just listen to it in the book and all in like going through some things with
my family and some other personal stuff but it's one of those love them I can only control what I'm doing I can only control my behaviors my thoughts my actions and what other people Glad you brought that book. I have not read it yet.
>> Anybody else have any thoughts? >> I have a little bit different perspective. Um I tend to be a worrier. I'm a thinker. Like to think through things and that can translate into worry. And my daughter's a little bit the same way. And one time my husband was teasing me because I was worrying
about I had no control. And my daughter made the comment goes, "Yeah, I wish you told us before. We didn't need to worry about that." And we all laugh because if you're a person that thinks about things and worries about things, it's very easy to
say, "Don't worry about that." Very hard to not do that. So, one of the things that my daughter and I do is um we try to think about, "Okay, well, if this happened, what would I do? if this happened, what would I do? And then at that point, you can say, "Okay, I don't
know what's going to happen, but I have strategies for the outcome." So, it's a little different than what you're saying. But that's kind of what your response could happen. >> That's true.
>> I love that you guys observed that so quickly. I cannot say that I did. I was thinking of many other I was thinking like what can I say to give her peace of mind? She doesn't need it. She's worked it out.
>> I'm currently struggling with my oldest child who I think is a lot like me and she knows everything as her almost 15year-old self and she just doesn't want to be part of
that I don't necessarily think that she should quit yet, but she's like, I'm not doing it. And so, I've like talked to blue in the face and I'm like, I just I need to let her decision and face the consequences of
that decision. And but it's just um partly like I'm super proud of her being honest and being like, I'm going to do what I said I'm going to do and standing up to me. but also like will she regret that and
be you know sad that she's not a part of it anymore or whatever. So it's just interesting in that stage of life of like how of a parent you you are and letting the kids grow up
and that's personal and it's hard. It's hard to let something go that you care so much about. For me, I'm the type of person who wants to fix it. Kind of like what you know, you see a problem, let's fix it and address it and know, you know, if it's
not my issue fixed, right? And you want to open up and say, here's what we can do. But I think to Brandy's point, like you have to let people figure it out on their own. And that's really hard for me. So, controlling my action, my emotions, my reactions to that situation
and letting letting the the airspace like just be there, right? And letting them talk through it themselves versus, oh, you can do this, you can do this. Well, that's not for me to decide. >> I really
in my world a lot of I I'm a part of funerals. So, people die. I'm likely one of the first few people that gets the phone call in the church family or my family.
And so, gosh, I don't know how many funeral services I've been a part of at this point in my life, but there are many. And I learned that you don't always have to say something. You don't. And I've been foolish and
like I didn't mean to go in the hospital room and say well God's gonna it's like a person just died you know kind of thing but I meant it genuinely and I truly wanted to give hope
to be right and so I recognize that it's important to show sometimes just be just be there while You might have the perfect scripture reference. You might have the perfect servant. You might have whatever
in your world that you could really. And it may have worked before, but it doesn't work for everyone. So reading the room in some ways is like that's all you need. You got it. It's hard. I like to fix.
It's really hard. So let's take all this and live it in educational leadership where we still can't control people but we are responsible for people and things. So this same person who wears
this inappropriate thing to Thanksgiving dinner now all of a sudden is a teacher where I'm principal. So, do I let them or do I deal with it? And that's when you have a decision to make, right? I
also think about what Brandy shared about her child because as a parent, you also have this responsibility to let them, and you're right, 15y olds, I mean, they're grown adults, right? Let's face it, they know everything.
So, do you let them make some choices that you think not be the best, but it's they're going to be okay eventually. Or do you go this is I need to take charge of this one and make that decision. I'm sure you go through that
as parents all the time. So, as a school leader here, you know, do you let that person on the board or Cindy as the superintendent, do you just let them go do that or do you go I think I have a responsibility here to say
something and then how do how do I do that? So, I just want to recognize the fact that there are differences in just letting people do them and taking that responsibility as a leader really seriously.
We're kind of in a unique situation as you know working with boards. Nobody here really is anybody's boss. We don't really have a right to tell really anybody here around the table what to what to wear, how to act, how to behave,
>> but communication work together. >> So, it's kind of an unusual situation. >> You're not a principal making sure people dress appropriately for kids,
>> but you do have some responsibilities to speak up, >> but you also recognize you are one of seven and alone you're not a board. the board of seven people >> and I think these seven they've been
trusted us to make sure we are doing that right thing somebody's coming to work and they're trusting appropriately we we're given the task to trust that it's now where it gets a little bit more challenging is you know it's not at work but it's causing a stir in the community
and indirectly it's impacting that becomes you know problematic and a situation you got to address as well probably I think that's where policy comes into play too because if there is a policy that everybody's expected to follow, then yes, we can enforce that policy. So
that's not letting them that is holding people to that standard. This is the behavior and the action that we expect, >> right? And recognize they're still going to do whatever they're going to do. >> Yeah. And that's their choice. which may cause your action to be
>> even different or more intense or >> whatever it is that that you guys vote to do. But but you're right that that messiness of being one of seven. I serve on a a board right now as well school board. Um but yeah, you recognize that
this is what everybody else wants to do. I have to weigh that and try to understand where you're coming from because I always more alike than we are different, right? We probably have the same goals in mind and maybe we have
some different opinions about how to get there, but I need to try to understand that and respect the fact that here's something else about control and that's the locus of control. the degree to which you feel you are in control of
the events that impact your life and um I have a slide on this. So in locus of control there's supposedly we're wired in one of two ways either we are have a
stronger internal locus of control or a stronger external locus of control and internal locus of control means I think that my happiness my success is dependent on me. I think that my
attitudes, my reactions, my skills, my choices are going to result in how my life is ends up. Or an external locus of control person is more like, well, I mean, I couldn't
be successful because have you seen my boss or have you seen the people I work with? There was no way I could be successful. Here's a little story. I was meeting a colleague for breakfast at 8:00 one morning. It was a Monday morning in St. Louis and it was raining. Well, if
you've ever lived in St. Louis or No, everything in St. Louis is 30 minutes away from wherever you are. That's that's our standing joke. It still take about 30 minutes to get there wherever you are. And so I thought it would take about 30 minutes to get there, which normally it would have, but it was
Monday morning. It was 8:00, which means rush hour, and it was raining. Now I lived in St. Louis for 30 years. I know what that means. It's not going to take 30 minutes. It's going to take 45 minutes. But I was late to breakfast
because I left at 7:30 thinking 8:00 and I got there at 8:15. Now the internal locus of control person, which I am, said this was my fault. Sorry I'm late. I didn't get up early enough. Right? I could have
controlled that outcome. I could have gotten up earlier. The external locus of control person says, "Sorry, I'm late. It was raining. It's rush hour. It's Monday. It's traffic. I hit every red light." Right? Extra. Do you get
what I'm saying? So, the question is just think about how do you view things and are you I hate to use the word blame, but are you pinning it on outside factors or are you saying, "But what could I have done?
contribute to that in a better way. If this conversation with him about saying bad things about a family when if if I had said Lance, I know what you did. I walked in that was way inappropriate. That was way out of line
and I'm writing up because we can't have that and I expect that it never happens again. The outcome might have been different, right? So I am really conscientious of what I contribute to the conversation into life. Remember a gal I worked with Zumal. Everybody loved
her. Guess what? She loved everybody. Right? When there was some office politics going on and some people were clicking and doing some not her, not Tammy. Everybody loved Tammy. Tammy was in every group. Why? Because she loved
everybody. She wasn't doing that. That's what she it and the result was she had all the friends. She got all the co-workers to join in and do the things. So, locus of control. That's the thing
about control. Um there's a lot to think about there. We're going to take a break in a second, but but first just talk to the person next to you. Ahas, thoughts. Uh here's what I'm thinking about when I think about control. What control I have, what control I don't have. Um, I
sleep better at night because I'm able to say that's outside of my circle of control and I'm going to think about things I can't control. And if it's something I really can't control, like national politics, then I'll think about what I can't control, like what I'm
going to do with grandkids this weekend. If it's something I'm concerned about and I can have some of, then I replace that worry with here's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to pick up the phone tomorrow and I think she'll understand
that talk to your neighbor as you were talking through that going back to your conversation with Dr. Um, when you had that conversation, you made it about yourself. I noticed, I heard this, I did. You didn't make it about him,
>> right? And and then you said, can you tell me what your thoughts are, what you were thinking? And so I just appreciated that of so that to me reflected your internal locus of your internal person. >> I have to also add to that. I've noticed
too that not only did you gently say what your experience was, you let him know that I recognize that you notice that was there like that is like so there's no room to swallow. >> Very respectful. >> Yeah. >> A hard conversation real quick with him
would have been if I hadn't heard it. >> Oh gosh. >> And other people had told me. And that's as we know as administrators, when do you have that conversation? and when you let it go because it's just hearsay. Um, if I think it's serious enough, which in this case I would if enough
people had told me that I would he and and he starts denying it. I would say Lance I or or he says I want to know who told you >> who said that. That's very common. >> We're not going to talk about that because that's not relevant. The point
is is this happening? Are you feeling the Are you feeling upset about some families that and you want to talk about? Let's talk about it and try to get him center of what's happening. So, all right. Just some ahas real quick on control and then we'll take another 10
minutes. My grandfather is >> everybody should have early to notice that early National big issues.
I mean all the time. Younger. Okay, guys. Take a stretch break if you need to. We'll come back a little bit by 11:15. >> What time? [Music]
Well, and that's what I'm think [Music] >> when I took it out. I looked I looked like >> I will say go ahead and grab >> I'm going to take grab more than one.
>> Tell you what happened. I think I left out. >> So if you notice >> that just now fork >> like a little chip. Does that hurt? >> Okay.
>> Okay. Good. >> I was nervous about that, too. Like, I should be feeling some pain. >> I don't know if it >> But you know, one tooth is always lower than the other. I got the one that's >> I think you don't get a lot of pain
down. Oh, really? >> They can even fix it, you know. Just kind of >> Yeah. This is almost >> I know. I know. >> My smile is like >> those very front teeth. >> Yeah. Right. Fun fun.
>> Fun fun. Jill, how is Bill doing? >> He's good. >> How long has he been CEO? >> Oh my gosh. >> Long time. >> Years and years and years. >> Really? >> How long? CEO
>> I don't know about CEO >> CEO no president >> I thought he was president >> he is he's both >> he is both >> well it's kind of like How did they learn that? Because I guess I have noticed that it was president and
CEO. So we do have a PNC bank. We have a president and we have a CEO >> and we have a CEO and maybe in bigger >> companies it's different. >> So president is operations officer I guess CEO.
>> So the president reports typically to the CEO. Wow. 20 years. My goodness. That's a blessing. It's a beautiful thing though. >> It is. >> And how many branches? >> What he does? >> Oh, I think
Springs. >> There's what? Three here in Independence. The main one and one. >> Oh, so the one downtown is not. >> Oh, and then that one. Sure. That would be seven. Yeah. >> Okay.
>> Jill, do I know more about >> you need to listen to my husband. Uh >> oh. I'm out of that one. Go. Where is your location? It's downtown. >> Downtown 19 grand. Yep. 19 grand. >> You really haven't seen any cuter kids than that, have you?
>> Well, I've got kids of my own. I got to be I've got to be careful with this. >> And I'm on camera. Good lord. >> That's right. You can say >> the babies are they they really are wonderful. They really are.
>> It's a cool thing. >> Oh, yes. >> To spend time with young people. >> She wants to come to work with me, >> Daddy. Which work? You have lots of works. >> I do. >> What fascinates her?
>> Um, probably the bank. She probably spent a lot of time at church. >> Well, they love church. >> I know, but like it's not as >> like foreign and novel as the bank. >> My son AJ goes, "Daddy, are you going to
the bank manager?" >> Like, "No, I am the bank manager. I'm going to work at the bank." So, it's kind of kind of interesting. >> I just wondered like what they'll decide to do in life. It'll be interesting to see.
My kids used to say that I worked in the taxi >> tax season. Oh >> yeah. >> You cannot I don't know what >> you do.
I actually >> Okay, ready to wrap this You have some postits. Let's use the bits. And I want you to use three different postits. And I want on each postit I
want you to write down three different words that describe your communication style. Now over just what comes to mind. might say, you know, what kind of communicator are you or what's a word that describes your communication? I know different scenarios called
different kinds of communication. I get it. But what comes to mind? Three words. >> One word on each >> one. Yes. You're going to be good. My husband says before I go to East training
He says and let him out early. Am I right on that? >> Take that to a lot of places. Okay. One of the module, one of the components or buckets in this training or this model is about care and clarity. And
it's the idea um about how you deliver messages. And what we know is that people tend to apparently have tendencies. Uh ignore
the assertive one. The same thing is is written over here. Ignore the assertive one for a second. That's what we strive for. We strive for care and clarity in our messages. But supposedly we sort of have a tendency when when times get tough, when
communication gets difficult. And if you dig real deep and honest, you know, do can you identify I know we all try for this. Um, one is is aggressive. And don't think of it as aggressive like mean, but that is
like um I I I seem to think more about the clarity of my message than I do about the other person. I'm very focused. Sometimes type A people like myself are are accused of this that you know we're really good at
getting the message across but we sometimes forget about the human being that we're speaking with and so we could use a little bit more clarity in that. I have I know this is me because I do go
back on every single email because my tendency is to go Cindy I emailed you three times last week and I didn't Did you not get them or is something What's that? And what I need to do and what I do is go back and start with, "Hey,
Cindy, I hope you're doing well. I know this is a really busy time for school leaders. Hope it's going well in Independence. Hey, I was just wondering if you got my message about next week's training." That didn't really happen. I'm just making that up. She's very good
at the attention. Um, but that's my tendency is just to be very direct. Jill is a teacher in my school where I'm the principal and she comes late to school sometimes. And so we're going to have a
conversation and this is what that might look like. Jill, I'm going to ask you to stand up and we're just we're just walking down the hall here and um and I'm the principal. Hey Jill. Hey. Um
for a second. I noticed like six times you've been late the last two weeks. It's clear in the policy book and the facing in the hallway was locked yesterday. You got here at
7:40. You're supposed to be here at 7:30. Be here at 7:30. Be here at 7:30. Be in your classroom at 7:30. The door unlocked. Kids can get in. Is that clear? Okay. So, just just so you know, I went
ahead and emailed that policy to you again. I also printed out copies of the handbook and put it in your mailbox. So, okay. >> All right. Yeah, that was kind of an exaggeration,
>> but can anybody relate? >> We know people like that. >> One of my blind. >> Oh, that would go in this box, too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, I just have to remember if I'm
doing that with Jill. Jill, how'd that feel? >> Well, I actually kind of had tears in my eye. Jill, >> I mean that's how I would react to somebody. >> Jill, you physically pulled back >> talking to me like that. I would
probably >> Yeah, >> I was there. >> And even if I even if you tone that back a little bit, you get the message. And so often when people like me want to be real clear,
we are clear. What time do you need to be there? >> You know it, right? >> Okay. >> Can I just from my lively experience in that space, um, everybody's obviously going to be different, but whenever it comes down to my least favorite part of
my job is to turning people. I I really do. I mean, even if they're the worst ways, I I do not like it. Um, But human resources will will ask you, were you clear? Were you direct in your expectations with arrival time? And so
in some of the ways that you approached I can obviously I think we can all appreciate the fact that she had the facts. >> Now you were aggressive, >> but there were kids fighting and all, you know, there was a lot of reason to be worried or frustrated, but there was obviously some room to have a more
decent conversation with someone. >> Well, ideally that would have for the third time. >> Yeah, that part. >> Okay, let's do this one. One of my best friends is uh she's retired now, but she was a high school counselor and this is
her this she's the definition of passive. She cares so much about the relationship and about the other person. Her messages are not clear. I mean, even when we go on vacation together, it's like, "Where do you want to eat?" "Well,
where do you want to eat?" You know? Don't ask dirty words. >> So, this can be problematic in leadership positions and professional position. So, Jeff, we're walking down the hall again. Okay. >> She's ready. >> This is like This is your
>> Oh. Oh, >> really? >> Love it. >> Okay. Walk down the hall. You're going to class. Hey. Hey. How are you? >> I'm good. How are you? Good to see you. >> You look so cute. always. I think you do so together.
>> Hey, is everything going okay? >> Yeah, good. Everything's >> in the morning. >> Yeah, everything's good. >> Okay, good. >> Well, if you need anything, let me know. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you transferred from the other school and that you're here. I love it here.
>> Okay, good. All right. Well, just let me know if you need anything. Okay. Okay. Thank you. All right. Can anybody relate to that? >> Horrible. >> Horrible. A lot of educators are like that because we like people, don't we? And so I never had this problem. But
some people that's their can't get that across. Now, she thinks that she got it across cuz she did ask about the morning. >> Yeah. >> So, she thought, well, Jill's going to get what I'm saying >> cuz she said, "Let me know if you need something." >> Right. Right. I It was It was pretty
clear, right? Right. Okay. That's That's a problem. [Music] >> How are you? >> I'm good. How are you? Good to see you. >> You're so cute. >> Thank you. >> Always cute, Joe. We all move to you.
>> Um, okay. I got to tell you something, but I don't want to tell you this because this is not really for me, but you know, Dr. [Laughter] [Music] on time and stuff. Well, I know that
back door has been unlocked for years, but you kind of slip in sometimes a little bit after 7:30. I mean, life happens. I get it. Trust me. You know, I went in my coffee this morning, too. But anyway, she says we have to walk every now
>> and I think she's gonna come and check the way she is. >> So, I'm just telling you in case you might need to come in a little earlier, whatever. So, >> okay.
Not me. >> Thank you. Thank you. Okay. >> Ah, you know people like this. >> Yeah. And that is low in care and low in clarity because that was a mess. Right. Right. And what did it do to our common
bond and who we are as a district to put it on somebody else. Right. Here's what we always strive for. And the reason we do this is to think about your communication, especially in
difficult conversations that could be a little contentious. And are you paying enough attention to both? Okay. So, >> hey, good morning. >> Hello. Good morning. >> You have three minutes. Let's dive in
here into the conference room real quick. How's it going? >> Pretty good. >> Good. Good morning. It's been a little crazy trying to, you know, balance my kids. Hey, I wanted to talk to you about what kind of morning I've noticed a few
times. Actually, I noticed it at the beginning of a not bringing this to your should. You know what happened yesterday in the hallway? Some of the teachers.
So 7:30 means in your classroom door open, kids are coming in at 7:30. Um I know you know that. Just wanted to touch base on what was going on and how I can help.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I've had a little trouble getting here. my kids are having some health issues and so I've had to kind of I know this is important to be especially
I don't want to cry but is there something that we need to know or we can connect you with in the resources or district with help on something you said health issues >> right no I think just that you know I
need to deal with or my family does. But I certainly will let you know if there's something that way. In the meantime, I will do what I need to know. Um yeah, you know the importance and
what I would just say to you is thank you for acknowledging that and saying that it won't happen again. I know there are emergency situations sometimes and if you find that you're going to be late, please text me and I will get somebody down there to cover. I
don't expect that it will happen. I know your but did you notice? It was give and take kind of I mean it was it wasn't so assertive you know it wasn't just you dominating the conversation you were you were somewhat
lenient you were interested in what she had to say and you were providing some support measures as well >> yeah the care and understanding of like is there something going on that we should know about solution focused like everybody
>> I like the fact you were sitting down and taking plenty of time to explain the situation in private opening to a conference room rather than in the home. >> I like the positive message. I know you understand. I know you're going to be on
time. Just in case. So, you're kind of planting that seed of the behavior that you want, but in a positive positive presupposition, right? Enter the conversation assuming positive
intent. Give her that. put you both in a good edge base. Now's the fun part. Take your three posters and come and put them where you think they fit the best.
You don't have to have your name on it. >> Let's just see where we are. That person was crazy. I know. Electron was like that up. You are perfect. What am I doing here? That is encouraging. Aha. What are you
taking away from this part? >> Oh, go ahead. >> Sorry. The I think the challenge with any communication is there are different perspectives like direct goes in which box like >> because I don't Yeah, because I don't
think it actually considers care. I was like, well, I'll put it in the aggressive, >> but I push it direct. >> So, >> most of us that are aggressive do >> just tell me tell me what you got and I'll be okay with that.
>> But my relationship with you will probably further if you add >> well I think to the direction I put it in the same spot with the aggressive I think if you focus too much on that directness then the openness that I have
up in the other quadrant right I think it takes away from that >> and so I think you have to look right and I think Anthony said it earlier you don't have to everything right now.
I don't have to tell Lance all the problems to morale and culture and climate when he's in there starting off about a family and what we owe it to families and how this family is really going through a difficult time and this is why they did that. At some point I might share that with him. I probably
will. I'm going to try to grow him, right? I'm going to try to develop him. But right now, the purpose of this meeting is just to hear what he has to say to raise his awareness on what's going on. So having that outcome for the meeting, what what's it for? And having
both of these things, any other thoughts, >> a question just to clarity, you use the term type a people. I just don't know what that means. Can you explain that? >> I probably used it very loosely because
I've always called people that are very driven, very uh problem solving. Let's get it done. Let's check it off the list. Let's move forward. Uh work workaholics. Am I describing
that right? >> I was going to say >> this. We're older than you. Well, you I noticed you did reference your type A like people like me, I think is what you said. >> Yeah,
>> that's wonder what that is trying to like. >> Cool. >> Okay, before we close, look at the delivery considerations. Find one that you kind of are interested in and read it.
I like the climate thinking considering that it's not just black or white or we have multiple solutions not just >> don't you think that's getting harder and harder nowadays
there's There's a lot of division and a lot of, you know, if you did this, then you must be this, this, this, and this. Forget it. We're multi-layered people with
and I might have made a mistake or I might have done something, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about this or care about you. I mean, allbody else I think that being intentional or unintentional
messaging, you know, I've had people I'm kind of a bigger guy and I sit like this a lot and sometimes I have to be conscious. I had a principal in my previous district say, "Lancher, you just scare me." I was like, "Well, why do I scare you?" And she was a neighbor of mine, actually, you're a good friend.
She said, "Well, you're kind of look assertive and aggressive." And I said, "Well, have I ever if I've ever been that way?" She said, "No, no, you're very kind." But but it was what she was telling me is I'm sitting like this and kind of looking at her in all seriousness. And that was kind of a little threatening to her, >> right?
>> So I have to be cognizant of that my hands down. >> Yeah. Talk to my husband because he does that and he's a big guy and I'm constantly. >> So I appreciate your insight and your introspection on that. Somebody else
>> I just to speak to that because it is exhausting to embrace and recognize everyone's perspective when it comes to body language. Like I sit like this and I promise you it is I am not like thinking
anything negative at all. And so to have to be hyper conscious of what a person might think of your disposition makes your problem. Oh, I'm just cold. That's it. I know he's nice and warm. That's it. Um so it gets really really
challenging and people I will reference my age now that you have this safe space here. Okay. Um millennials we just definitely have this very aggressive approach to being um having space and if you don't make
space for me I'll create it myself kind of thing. And so I do struggle in that space because it's definitely a lot to juggle um with knowing the jargon, knowing the the body language, the lingo, etc. And I'll use that as a segue
just to tell you what my takeaway here was or my favorite one. Consider location and time when and where you meet may have a significant implication for the other person. Consider the possibility possibility of an audience which can cause rumors or harm. Also, is
it the best time for the receiver? I'm hoping it can be after school uh so that we can have more time to talk and you won't have to worry about going back to teach. And so, I think just continues to be an ongoing learning experience. You never arrive to a place to where you got
it all under control and you know everything. You just continue to learn. And so, like Lance, I Although it's frustrating sometimes, you may notice it, but I definitely do try to remain conscious of my expressions, my responses, and my posture and all
that stuff. >> I I appreciate what you said because I do think it's exhausting, and I don't think we necessarily have a responsibility to do that, to worry about what everybody's doing. We don't have a responsibility to do that. Like my husband said, I I can't make you
happy. I can't make you comfortable just by the way I'm showing up. Although one of the little buckets in you is image because it's worth considering. >> Absolutely. >> Some of our image being a big guy, >> I can't do anything about
um and there's things that people have had to deal with for years. Being an African-American, >> being an African-American female in a space of educational leaders where you're the only one in the room, that people automatically judge and have
bias. That's a another thing to our image. But there are things we can do if we want to to think about our image, >> you know, and if we choose, you know, when I cut my hair really short as an educational leader, people had an
impression of that. When I chose not, this was in the 90s, when I chose not to change my name when I got married, people had an opinion about that. People said to me in liberty, "You're not changing your name. What does your husband think?
And you know what I said? I don't know. I didn't ask. >> Which further perpetuated what people thought strong, independent, opinionated edgy >> bossy, >> bossy. Yeah.
>> So, I just have to be cognizant of that. >> I still wear short hair and I still haven't changed my name. Uh to much to my mother-in-law, she's not. Um so yeah, I appreciate you saying that. >> What else? Anything else on the card?
>> Um I like the invite to name and understand all points of view. Um and I think we can do that's something that we can do a better job of as a district. I know we kind of started those conversations with our community conversations and I hope that we'll do many more. But it's just it's giving
people a space to talk and say what their concerns are and just listening because that's part of it too. Um I with the uh like world cafe style that's why you're there. You sit and you listen.
You don't and that's kind of what we practice today too. Just listen. We don't have to say oh but this oh but this or this is um and in that carry that as we move forward with those as well. >> Thank you. And you know to even escalate
that is to write it down. So, I know it always have a note paper, but when you've got a big old chart paper on the wall and somebody says, "I think we should consider this." Write the whole word that describes that. And then they feel validated. Like, not only are they here with they're spending their time
and they're listening, they're going to take that back to the next meeting or the next. Good. Thank you for that. Anybody else? I'm watching 80%. >> Thank you. I appreciate that.
This really leadership is is an incredible task. It is. And as a leader, sometimes your your effort, your work is not always visible. It's not always seen. And
sometimes people will approach you with, "What if you did it this way? What if you did this? What if you had that? What if you had that?" And I'm telling you, 80% of the time, if you just look, it's already being done. It's already accessible. Whatever, whatever, whatever.
Recently, I caught myself. I refused to say. I refused to say, "Here's your resource." I refused that. I took the note. I said, "I appreciate you sharing it." A week later, I said, "Here are some resources." And they were incredibly apologetic, but I didn't need
that. I didn't I wasn't looking for that reaction. I I truly wanted them to be elevated in that moment to share what they needed to share. It wasn't for me to just bang bang bang bang bang, I've done it already. It was just for music.
And so, I think in the process, they have a chance to just looked asked. But I I think that built a relationship that's going to be long. >> Yeah. So I just I know like in that
community event that we did, I know that there were so many opportunities to be frustrated and angerous and oh my gosh it's a lot of goodness. It's a lot. take that. >> So there's a book called uh the power of
the other. It's by Dr. Henry Cloud and it's a good read and his thing is that it is impossible to come together as human beings and not have some impact on other people. We are all influencable.
And he says when they're wired to connect, we're meant to connect and two chemicals come together, there is always a chemical reaction and we are chemicals as human beings. There was a chemical. So when you have a quick conversation with somebody, when you
have a meeting with somebody like we had this morning or relationship, you will change. You will have a reaction. You will evolve in some way. You will take something away and be different uh for better or for worse as a human being.
And so I like that concept. Besides, when you land, when you're on an airplane and you land, what do we what does everybody do? They get out your phone and they turn it off of I don't know. >> I don't know when you can technically turn it off airplane mode. I do it as soon as the wheels.
[Music] >> I don't know. >> Oh, >> what' you say? You got to turn it off. See, I wondered if there were people like you. >> My husband, the last time I flew, he was like, I can track your flight. And I call him stalker. But I was like,
"What?" He's like, "You don't turn the airplane." Oh, dude. He's like so embarrassed that I not follow. See, I always wondered how people would know that. But anyway, what Dr. Cloud says is that when we land, we Why do we turn it off? Why do we need to connect? Because
we have to connect. We We need to let somebody know we got there. We need to get the address of our hotel. We need to find the Uber. We need to see which gate we're coming into. And we can't do any of those things unless we're connected. Right? He just talks about the power and
the importance of connection which I love because that is my life and that is why life is rich for me because of people like you. That's the power of the >> power.
Um I just wonder how you've evolved today and instead of sharing it out, I want you to write to yourself. How are you a little different? What are you going to do? What are you
going to practice? What did you learn about yourself? My book, How to Have Difficult Conversations as an Educational Leader, is coming out September 30th, and you can check all of my stuff out on my website. This is not a sales pitch. Um,
I just want you to know who I am and where I am and and the kind of stuff that I do. Um, so that's why I've given you information has been a real joy to be with you guys today. I what a great group of people and it just reminds me of people we want to connect, we want to
serve, we want to love, we want to help. Um and the real beneficiaries are those people who work in your school district. So it has really been my honor to be here. I always end with a closing circle. You guys have worked so hard today. We're going to have fun with this
one. Stand up and come over and we'll just stay where you are. Um, um, a movie that makes you really happy. >> Who wants to start? You got me. Say it again.
>> You got me. Ruby. >> Inside out. >> What was that? Clueless. >> I was gonna say, but I can think of another one that makes me laugh. >> I'm waiting for number two. [Music]
just laugh. >> The proposal. Yeah. >> My favorite window. What? >> She's singing the song. >> Yes. >> She's like doing this mantra in the woods. It's hilarious.
>> Watch this movie. >> I'm going to date myself, but I want to say >> I love it when Chris Broman tries to sing. We're not >> a movie that makes me happy.
>> Yeah. What movie do you >> watch over? >> No, I don't. I'm sure. >> How about a song? Some people Yeah. >> Okay. Uh my gosh. Um lift every voice and sing.
>> Are you serious? >> Um okay. Sing till earth and heaven ring ring with the harmonies
of liberty. Let our rejoiceing rise high as the listening skies. Let us march on till victory
is [Applause] >> Thank you. >> Did we hear from everybody? Thank you. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> And I will send her presentation to all of you so that you
>> I did um Yeah. And one reason I do that is because all my resources on your last three slides. So the books that I reference or some of the stuff it's kind of fun to look back. I didn't used to do that until I spoke to a bunch of graduate students who are working on
their doctorate. >> Do you have your references? >> So, I have them. >> I think lunch is set up in there or Chris has it plated for us. I forgot. So, she'll bring that in. You have to go.
>> Oh, good. [Music]