Good morning. I'm going to begin our seventh parent information session. This one is about helping kids manage stress, big feelings, and testing anxiety. So, thank you for attending this
morning. I'm going to keep pausing to allow other parents to be admitted to the session, but again, thank you for attending. I'm going to talk about this morning, helping our kids manage stress, our big feelings, and testing anxiety.
The purpose of this morning's presentation is really to um provide some simple and um effective ways that you as parents can help manage stress at home, um testing
anxiety, and um emotions so that your children and our students can feel more confident and supported both at home and in school. So, in Long Hill Township, we know that
academic success is closely connected to emotional well-being. So, hopefully, you can leave this session today with some practical, easy-to-use strategies that you can start using right away at home. Okay.
So, why why does this matter? Why does this matter to us here at school? Why does this matter to you at home? So, stress and anxiety are a normal part of growing up. In fact, a certain amount of stress can
be helpful. It can also motivate children to prepare and try their best, but we don't want to overwhelm. When stress becomes overwhelming, that's when it impacts our um ability to learn, our ability to focus,
and our ability to maintain a good behavior at school and at home. The important thing to remember is emotional regulation is a skill, just like reading, just like math, just like riding a bike. It can be taught, it can
be practiced, and it can be strengthened over time. So, our goal is not to eliminate stress completely, but to help our children learn how to manage it effectively. So, what does it look like in our kids?
Children don't always express stress in the obvious ways that we do as adults. So, instead of saying, "I'm anxious," they show it. They can either show it through physical symptoms, emotional symptoms, or behavioral symptoms.
Um you might notice physical signs like a headache, stomach aches, or they're extremely tired. Behaviorally, I'm sorry, emotionally, they might seem more irritable, more worried, more overwhelmed. Behaviorally,
stress can show up as they're avoiding avoiding um a topic, avoiding participating in something. Uh it could be not wanting to go to school, not wanting to do homework, shutting down completely, or even acting
out in some cases. So, recognizing these signs early will allow us as educators here and parents for you at home to respond with support instead of frustration. All right, big feelings versus small
problems. So, one important thing to keep in mind is that children experience emotions, again, differently than we do as adults. What might seem like a small problem to us can feel very large to your kids. That's because kids are still
developing. They're still developing their ability to regulate their emotions. Sometimes, we can refer to it as volume control. We say, "Take it down a notch. Use a classroom voice." Um in these moments, our kids need the
adults in their lives to help them coregulate, which means we stay calm and we model by helping guide them back to that regulated state. If they see us start to become emotional or frustrated,
that doesn't help, and that doesn't show them ways that they can regulate their emotions. So, our calming response is what helps their brain learn to calm down over time. Some calming strategies that you can try
at home are just different types of strategies um when you notice that your children are feeling overwhelmed or before you see their signs that they're going to become overwhelmed. You know your child. You
know how he or she begins to express this. So, an effective tool is deep breathing. So, for young kids, sometimes we call it balloon breathing, where they slowly start breathing to fill the balloon, and then they break
the balloon by letting the air out. Another one that's important is movement. Movement is very underrated in schools and at home. A short stretch break, a short break to take a walk,
move around. Any type of movement can reset the body. Okay. Let me make sure I think other people are logging in. Okay. Creating a quiet, calming space at home.
You might hear some teachers say at the younger levels that we have calming corners in the classroom or in the guidance offices, there's calming corners, there are zones of regulation um with different colors to teach our students how to express feelings that
they maybe don't quite understand yet. So, creating that quiet, calm space at home, where a child can take a break, can also be helpful. But, it's also important that we show them how to do this. We don't just say to them, "You're
acting up. Go to the calming corner," without them knowing what the calming corner is, what that quiet space means to them in their home, what it looks like, and what do they do there. So, it's important at other points of the day, other times of
the day that we show our children, and just like we show the students here, what does this calming corner look like? This way, when they are at that point, they don't have to figure out what to do in this area. They know what to do.
And then finally, predictable routines. This is important for all students. It's consistency, and I think that's a word that I've used throughout the school year with different types of parent presentations. So, consistency, just like doing homework, just like bedtime,
just like what you do in the mornings when you wake up and get ready for school, what you do when you come home, it helps reduce anxiety by creating that sense of stability and control that at that time, students might feel they're lacking.
Okay, we have testing coming up in the older grades, but throughout the year, we have our diagnostic assessments, we have our unit assessments with our programs, and um so, this isn't just for state testing. This is just testing in
general. Sometimes, the hype of Let me admit one more person. Okay. Sometimes, the hype of hearing testing and and hearing is um is really worse than taking whatever
assessment that the students are doing. It's worse. It's uh worse hearing about it, prepping yourself up to the moment where it's, "Okay, this is testing day." Well, we teachers here um in our district, we have informal assessments that take place all the
time. So, this is why I thought this presentation would be a perfect timing now because um students are very hyped up thinking about the new state test and how it's a different format this year and what to expect. So,
testing can be a major source of enjoy of anxiety for many students. One of the most important things we can do is just normalize their feelings. Let them know it's okay to feel nervous. Many people do. I said to my own my own two sons at home, "You're going to have
testing. You You don't need to get a good night's sleep just for the test. You need a good night's sleep in general. This is what we've been doing all year. When you have school the next day, you have a good night's sleep the night before. You eat healthy breakfast every
day." So, make it seem like it's not hyped up. This is just how we normally are. You get a good night's sleep during the school year. We eat healthy foods during the school year, brain foods to help us think in
the best way that we can. Shift the focus away from perfection and just towards effort. Instead of emphasizing the scores or the letter or number grades, emphasize just try your best. Use the strategies that
your teachers and us as parents have worked with you all year. That's it. You do it every day. You don't want to take away the importance of the testing, but you want to really focus on you know what you're doing.
This is what you've been learning all year. These are excellent strategies. Just try your best. Put in your best effort. You can also help by practicing some of the test-like routines at home such as maybe working quietly for a set period
of time. So, some students, that's not hard to do. Other students, it is. To think about for a student who can't sit still or their mind wanders or they like to take breaks,
that anxiety piece of knowing, "Oh, no, you have to sit still and be quiet for 75 minutes, for 45 minutes." That might be very upsetting to a child. So, if you know your child
as well as you do, provide those practice sessions at home. We're going to have a nice after dinner. We're going to have a a nice quiet time for the next 20 minutes, 30 minutes. And lead them up to it. This way, when they have to sit for a
period of time at school quietly, it's not a huge change for them. And it's also important to be mindful of our language. So, avoid statements that add extra pressure.
You know, for instance, "You have to do well. This will make or break you at the high school level. This test is really important." Instead, we know as parents, testing changes all the time with the state of New Jersey.
It's named different, our state standards are named differently, and now this year the formatting is differently. It's an adaptive format, very similar to our i-Ready. So, our kids are used to taking this type of assessment. They're used to taking the adaptive assessment
where when you answer questions correctly, the difficulty raises. It gets harder. When you answer incorrectly, the questions get easier. So, our our children are used to this, even at the kindergarten level.
So, acknowledging, saying that um "You have to do really well." Just keep calm, be supportive, and use some of the examples that I was saying before. "You've been doing this all year at school.
We've been practicing how to be quiet at home." Okay, building confidence and resilience. So, confidence, it doesn't always come from getting things right. It comes from working through challenges.
A lot a lot of what I see over the course of my 26 plus years in education, and I'm guilty of it as well. We like to solve problems for our children.
We think we're helping them, but in the long run, we're not. In the long run, we are allowing them to feel that Mommy or Daddy or Grandma or Grandpa or another trusted adult
will solve our problems. Now, obviously, every problem has a different path. So, if it's something that is homework assistance um as opposed to a child um
being picked on in school, okay? There are differences. Um we always want to help our children, and we have to step in when we know we should. But on those occasions where maybe letting them get their homework wrong so their teachers are
able to see that, "Wow, they didn't get it. Let me reteach this or let me pull he or she aside to review this problem, okay?" So, it comes from working through any challenges. A good way to build upon this is
praising efforts, praising strategies that they're using, and not just the outcomes. You know what? I know you studied really hard for your ELA test, and you got a C. You know what? Let's go over what you got wrong, and maybe we'll try to work
on this for next time. But the main the important point is that you tried your best, you understood the concept, and you can use this going forward. Everything everything is everything brings something that you can
learn from. Encourage what we call thinking. For example, "I can't do this yet." Instead of "I can't do this." Period. So, that word yet comes into play a lot
with kids. I I don't know how to do this yet. Well, "I don't know how to do this." Period. And that's when we teach what we need to teach them. What do you need to learn? What don't you understand?
Celebrate some small wins. So, for example, um even with riding a bike. Okay, you got down you got past three houses this time. You didn't fall.
You stick with it. You're sticking with something that's difficult. That's a life skill. So, next the next time you get on your bike the next day, try to go past four houses. Provide little goals with them. If
they're younger, provide it for them. As they're older, let them provide goals for themselves, and you just support it along the way. What that does is teach them resilience. It teaches them perseverance, and it allows them to have that
motivation on continuing to try things even though they're challenging. And when students, your children, face challenges, guide them into problem-solving instead of solving everything for them, which is
what I had said a few minutes ago. It will build their independence and resilience over time. And that's really really important. So, some helpful language that you can use at home. Some of the words that we use with
children can have a very powerful effect on how they handle stress. So, supportive phrases um like some examples that I have here will help them feel understood, help them feel like you're um validating what they're saying to you,
and it gives them that chance of of knowing they are capable to do it. So, "I see this is hard for you. Let's take a break and try it again. I know you have the strategies to do this."
Or "Mistakes help your brain grow." I say that all the time to my kids. You don't come as far as you do as adults without making mistakes along the way, and that starts when you're younger as a child. So, these types of statements
can validate their feelings, encourage their persistence, and their confidence. Creating a supportive routine. I feel like this slide is it repetitive throughout all of my slides regardless of what the topic is, because routines
play a key role in reducing stress and anxiety. It provides organization, and it it teaches your children um the importance of making sure that they're organized and that they have set routines. And yes, sometimes routines
get broken, but then you pick it back up and do it again, or you change as your needs change at school and at home. So, a consistent sleep schedule to help children feel rested and better able to
function the next day, better able to learn. You're setting them up for success. You're setting them up to manage their emotions. A balanced approach to homework. So, you could provide breaks. It prevents them from being overwhelmed. You know your children.
So, when my children get home, I'm not home. I'm still here. I allow them at least 1 hour because that's when I may or may not be home after, of downtime. You put a lot of your energy, a lot of your brain work
into the school day, boys. Okay, have a snack, have some downtime, but then at this time, homework begins. Sometimes students like to do their homework right away and have some breaks in between.
Whatever schedule you set up, you might have to tweak it in the in the beginning to see what works, and not every routine is going to be the same if you have multiple children. So, finding that balance and finding what works for each child is only going to better set them
up for success for the school year, for sports, for arts, for music, and for other routines and other um other incentives and events that are taking place in their life.
Um we talk about the balance in school and at home of screen time. There's a lot of discussion on too much screen time at school, too much screen time at home, especially before bedtime,
how it affects focus and mood, you have to find that balance at home just like we have to find it at school. And once we find that balance, you can alter as your students as your children's needs alter at home.
And just as important as children need time for play and relaxation, it's just as important as doing their homework and studying and screen time and TV. Let them play. Let them relax.
These moments are not wasting time. They're very important for their emotional well-being. Okay, so in closing, um I really do feel that the educators at school
and the parents and family dynamic at home is a partnership. One really doesn't work without the other. We have to support each other for the benefit of our kids. So, I would like to emphasize you are your child's strongest support system.
You are your child's strongest advocate. Managing stress and emotions takes time, it takes practice, it takes patience, and sometimes it's not always perfect. And that's fine. What matters most
is consistency, patience, and just being able to provide that supportive environment where your child feels safe to try, safe to take good risks,
and safe to grow. And we value here your partnership and appreciate everything that you do to help your child be successful just like we want them to be successful academically, emotionally, and socially.
So, I would like to thank you for joining me this morning. I am going to um provide you with my email address. Uh this year I am at all three schools. So, emailing me is most likely the best way to contact me.
Um I do respond very quickly and um I will now leave open the floor up to questions in the chat. If anybody has any questions that they would like to um ask for the group,
um you can post it right in the chat. If not, I will be um Oh, here's one. Oh, you're welcome, Mr. Conroy. Okay. Oh, thank you, Ms. Hardy. We appreciate you, too. Okay, a question regarding the calming
corner. Um how do you keep these kids from getting overstimulated from others in the classroom? Well, that's that's um that's a little hard because you never really know um the students' dynamics, especially at
the younger grade levels when they're still learning how to behave, they're still learning the classroom rules, especially at the pre-K K level where you don't really know a mix of students. Um so, I think the teachers just have to provide strategies to the students as
they get to know their personalities, move some tables around, provide some small groups, um and really work with the dynamics of a classroom that um to try to help prevent overstimulation from many different causes, whether it's an
assignment or a home concern or a recess incident or other students in the classroom. Um let's see. Recommended screen time per week or day. So, I'll give you both of my um
I don't want to say recommendations, but um my thoughts. So, as a parent, my my two sons are in middle school. A lot of their um classroom work in their middle school
is a mix of online, paper pencil, workbook. Um I personally feel that my two sons get a lot of screen time at school. So,
I limit it at home. Um it depends, you know, on their ages. So, I'll just speak from a parental point of of of um parental point of me for my two sons, grade seven and eight. I give them 1 hour a day
social time with their friends um depending on the apps that they use. And um that's it. If they need to use apps for homework or uh to submit assignments, that's separate.
But I I will give them an hour a day of that um social time with their friends. I do monitor from my app on my phone. I have parental um parental I'm forgetting restrictions set up um
due to their ages and just due to my preference on what I want them exposed to. Um for school, I think there should be a good um mix for all ages. Uh I recently attended a workshop um
last week for the morning that said a lot of colleges are going back to paper pencil, the blue books for assessments. So, I know our middle school has started to pull back a little bit um to have a better balance of um paper
pencil and online. There are other uh schools in the district in New Jersey and um Morris and uh Somerset County that are having a one-day tech-free day. Um we talked a little bit about that at
these meetings. So, I think schools are um you know, as there are different reports and different articles and um different conversations happening over the world on screen time, I think schools are listening. And I think they are watching
and I think they are still um providing a balance that they need to provide based on our student our student enrollment and population and our programs. So, um that's how I'll answer that question. I don't want to say what I recommend
because quite frankly, um you know, students in eighth grade, I would say could have more screen time than a five-year-old in kindergarten. Um so, I think it has a lot to do with their age and um and I think um
you know, at home, you have to uh really see what works for your dynamics at home. I hope I answered that um you know, to the best. Um when they see which app do you use? So,
to monitor my um my children at home, um I have AT&T instead of Verizon. I just switched. So, I have the um Family Secure app, which is uh it's a few dollars a month,
but I that's how I monitor. So, I download the app on their phones and I set during the school day, they have set phone numbers that they can call if there's an emergency, but other than that, their phones are on lockdown. When they get home, I set that 1 hour
of downtime for them and I allow um at their age, I uh do not allow TikTok right now. I do not allow Instagram, Facebook. I just don't find it meaningful for them right now.
Um so, I I block a lot of those. Um some apps that I I do allow them on are um YouTube Music because my older son needs to hear music while he does his homework. So, I think
it's just a matter of of knowing what your kids like, but I use and I think they have that in all cell phone plans, the um Family Secure app. And And also, if you have an iPhone, you can control it in the settings based on
their Apple IDs. So, that's another layer of security that I use for my my two sons. Um Yeah, I know Verizon has that for your question here because I just switched over to AT&T a few months ago, but I
used the same thing for Verizon. And um that's what I have. Let's see. Okay. Okay, good. There's other good suggestions in here um in the chat. So, that's good. Family Link, Google
Family Links, articles at the New York Times. Good. All right. Well, um thank you for attending. I am going to present this again this evening if you didn't have a chance to see it. Uh well, you have a you had a chance to see it,
but if you logged in late or um if you weren't able to catch everything, um it also will be it's recording now and then it will be placed on our YouTube channel on the district website probably by the middle of next week. So,
thank you and have a great rest of your day. Reach out to me if you have any questions. Bye-bye.