all right all welcome have a uh want to wish everybody a good evening uh and as always we appreciate you taking the time uh to join us we know you have very busy schedules so uh big thanks uh for taking
your time we're not we're not going to take a lot of your time uh you know we're estimating about 30 to 40 minutes uh hopefully it'll be mostly dialogue back and forth um I'll start off by just simply saying uh I started reading this
book i have a sixth grade daughter and noticed her overusage of and I'm going to be very particular about my words uh overusage of her smartphone um and her reliance on it and how
her attitude and behavior changed when we took the phone away from her um I do phone free phone free Sundays with my daughter and you know we always notice she's in a better happier mood on Sundays
uh than she is during the week um so you know we started that practice i'm actually headed over to T-Mobile end of this week uh to go to the Apple store to put better restrictions uh on her phone
um as I as we move forward and try to understand this this process so uh I do want to share a video with everyone before we start our discussions a new book getting a lot of buzz looks at how the rise of social media has caused an epidemic of social
and psychological problems among children and teens it's called The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness it's written by Jonathan Height who's a social psychologist and he joins us now thanks for being with us good morning my
pleasure good morning so I think you know we all know having kids that those phones are a big part of the problem but I didn't realize this is a whole thing i'm thinking back and you talk about how when we were growing up it was a playbased childhood and this is a
phonebased childhood and talk about the difference in the impact sure for millions of years our ancestors played when they were kids that's how kids wire up their brains anyone who's had a puppy or a kitten knows that they need to play play and kids did that up until around
2010 uh between 2010 and 2015 everything changes in 2010 kids have flip phones and they use that to text each other say "Let's meet up." They still talk to each other in school but by 2015 everyone has a smartphone front-facing camera the
girls are mostly on Instagram high-speed internet and now kids are doing this all day long they're looking at their phones so even between classes in our schools kids are on their phones there's not as much laughter as there used to be so my argument is human childhood kind of
vanished between 2010 and 2015 as our kids moved into the virtual world for most of their day yeah and this is actually getting a problem uh actually becoming such a problem that it is getting bipartisan support in government
which hardly anything does do you think that's the only way to solve this problem is for for a government to approach the tech sector and and have them stop sort of baking their algorithms to to keep people addicted well you know as as an American I kind
of have gotten used to the fact that Congress isn't going to do anything ever now that's not true in this case you're right this is the one case where Congress because there are mostly most of them are parents they've all seen it uh but I wrote my book assuming that we could actually do a lot of this on our own if we band together to have common
norms however yes I'm so excited that the US Congress might well pass the Kids Online Safety Act that would be a huge win to make their their time online a little less toxic also Britain and France and Australia so many countries are acting this year this is the turning
point this year what can you do aside from government regulation i mean every kid communicates through the phone so it's real easy to say "Don't give your kid a phone." But that's how they're communicating with their friends so the trick is to realize that a
smartphone is not the same as a phone there are many kinds of phones the millennials grew up with smart with cell phones they had flip phones it was a little bit hard to text and that's all they could do was text and make phone calls and guess what their mental health is fine it's a creative outgoing
generation they didn't suddenly plunge into despair and depression the key is that Gen Z that is kids who were born in 1996 and later they got this stuff at the beginning of puberty if you go through puberty on a smartphone you're not just texting your friends you are
now the entire internet now has access to you and you have access to the entire internet and that means you're not paying much attention to the people who are physically around you so that is new since 2010 it wasn't like that before 2010 what can schools do if anything
schools need to be the central hub schools have the most important role to play here and the reason is that we're all trapped in what's called a collective action problem why do we you know our 10-year-old asks for a a smartphone why do we give in because she says "Dad I'm the only one i'm isolated
everyone is is on these apps and I'm alone." And so then we give in um but if we take that peer pressure and turn it around in our favor we can escape so schools are best place to say first of all no phones in school just lock them up no matter what it is lock them up in
the morning in a phone locker or yonder pouch you get them back at the end of the day for six hours you pay attention to the other kids and to the teachers and that's it so schools so phone free schools is urgent and the other thing is schools can communicate with parents and say you know what we are facing a crisis
here at school we can't get our kids attention our kids are distracted they're so depressed and anxious let's talk about what these phones are doing to our kids and most parents will agree most parents see it so schools can really help us solve these collective action problems by organizing us
collectively and there it's also making kids like uh sicker because they're not getting as much sleep and they're all of that is all tied together you forget into the physical as well absolutely so you know kids need to run around
exercise get a lot of sunlight be out in nature all that stuff goes away when you give them a smartphone not for every single kid but most kids are spending 5 hours a day just on social media 7 to n hours a day on other things on on the phone um so yeah kids need daylight they
need to go outside and this is the actually the final norm that that I'm proposing in the book we can't just take away the phones we can't just say "Oh no this is bad for you let's take it away and you have to sit here alone at home." No we have to give kids back childhood we have to So the fourth norm of the
norms that I propose is far more independence free play and responsibility in the real world we have to give kids back the kind of childhood that we parents had and that our parents had which is you're out having adventures you're having fun you're learning skills you're getting into trouble you're getting out of trouble
with your friends that's what our kids need to do bones are experience blockers bones are relationship blockers i mean smartphones that was a great introductory video we also are joined by Rachel Wener from our team Unscreen here
in South Orange and Maplewood uh Rachel I don't know if you have a moment uh just to say hello and maybe uh a few introductory words but the floor is definitely yours now uh we would love for you to participate and help guide
our conversations this evening wonderful thank you so much Ashia can you hear me okay wonderful awesome thank you and thank you Mr bing for hosting this really meaningful book conversation and for letting um us introduce ourselves
because the work we're doing is directly tied to uh this this book The Anxious Generation so I'll just be real brief um I'm a parent here um I live in South Orange my name is Rachel Wener i have a sixth grader at South Orange Middle
School and a fourth and second grader at Clinton Elementary and I'm part of a grassroots organization here in South Orange Maplewood called Team Unscreen you may have seen us around um in your
schools or on Instagram and basically Team Unscreen um is a community commitment to do exactly what Jonathan Height is recommending give our kids space to grow explore uh and connect without the constant pull of smartphones
and social media and we are aiming to do that in a in a number of ways but one of the big ones is to organize parents who are interested in delaying smartphones for their kids to commit uh to not giving their kid a smartphone until the
end of 8th grade and acknowledging exactly what Jonathan Height said that there's so much pressure to just you know give your kid a smartphone um and that there's a lot of power in the collective and agreeing together that um we're going to delay the smartphone
ideally to the end of those formative years of of puberty um as he mentioned and so this organization team onscreen has volunteer leaders in every elementary school in the district um as of last Thursday there are almost 600
families in the district who have signed on to commit to delay giving their child a smartphone until the end of 8th grade so there's a real interest in this and as we go on with these um book talks if there are folks who are interested in
learning more about the wait until 8th pledge or the different um activities um that are going on through team unscreen you can check out our website at teamunscreen um.com and we'd be happy to talk more so
thanks for the opportunity to to introduce ourselves and we're really looking forward to the conversation thank you Rachel much appreciated you've been a great partner look forward to working with you moving forward um you know as as I started this
uh conversation uh this is a personal issue for me again having a six sixth grade uh daughter um and I found this quote i make my daughter read this quote about 20 times
a week and I'm not kidding i have her pull it up on her phone i have her read it uh it is from Alice in Wonderland it is Louis Carol obviously the author do you love me alice asked no I don't love you replied the White Rabbit alice frowned and clasped her hands together
as she did whenever she felt hurt see replied the White Rabbit now you're going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can't love you at least a little you know that's why I can't love
you you will not always be loved Alice there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life will have their head in the clouds and will hurt you because people are like that they somehow always end up hurting each other's feelings whether through
carelessness misunderstanding or conflicts with themselves if you don't love yourself at least a little if you don't create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart the feeble annoyances caused by
others will become lethal and will destroy you the first time I saw you I made a pact with myself i will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself um I have probably given my 13th or 14th year as a superintendent i
think I've given uh 10 plus graduation speeches um I'll give you a preview of my my one for this uh 24-25 class uh I always key on key in on the idea of
selflove right the the idea that we have to work at first starting to like ourselves and then starting to love ourselves um especially in the times that you just heard the author of the anxious
uh generation uh talk about uh we're living in the times where students have access to everything and anything via handheld computer um so you know my question is I wonder if any of you have
any of these sayings or or or or words of encouragement that you use uh with your kids on a regular basis uh just to check in and just to make sure that um they're okay even in our busy lives if you do I'd love you to
share it in the chat so others could see it um I think it's important to share tools that we utilize even how no matter how small or um they are i just think it's important to share our our common
knowledge uh I do want to start off obviously I'm an educator so I I do want to touch upon some things before we get into the conversation about the anxious generation um because things have changed since I've been in school i'm a
55 year old um oh thank you whoever put that in the chat that you only look 25 thank you oh another one another Stop stop everyone please um
um I'm 55 uh you know I graduated high school in ' 87 um things were different in the classroom then than they are now i say this all the time because uh we often
think we understand education because we went to school uh things have dramatically changed in pedagogy and research and education over the especially over the last 15 years when it comes to brain research we know an enormous amount more than we did when
when I was growing up or when you were growing up that's just the reality um research now supports the idea that intelligence is not fixed it's not static it can be developed and it can be grown this concept often return often
referred to as a growth mindset suggests that our brains are adaptable and can change and strengthen through effort learning and strategies this is something I beg you to emphasize with your with your children on a regular basis i put a little uh link in there uh
and I could send the PDF out as well it really shows you the science behind the growth mindset in a simple one pager uh we can grow new connections in our brains intelligence is not static when I
was growing up you're born smart or not born smart that is not the reality anymore we know that through the brain research over the last 10 to 15 years uh your intelligence can be changed you can grow new neurons new access points it
can be changed so when we talk about our students using these smartphones on a regular basis I promise you as the author noted it can be changed um so one of the interesting things uh
that we always like to start off with is some self-reflection so you know what I what I would like to ask you is um in regards to yourself what would you like to change if anything about your own relationship with smartphones and
social media uh or you know what about video games and other screenbased activities whatever you choose to utilize um and then I I always post the question you know what are we modeling for our students i often are children i
often catch myself on a regular basis utilizing my cell phone uh when I just ask my daughter not to utilize uh her smartphone um so I often check myself and it's difficult uh because it's such
an intricral part of our lives but you know I'd like to take just a minute for some self-reflection and if you could place it in the chat and Ashai could share it with the rest of us you know what what do you consider your own relationship with your smartphones and and social media where are you
personally uh we'll give you a minute uh to respond to that i'm aware that we have a few uh quite a few many that have simply called in so I'm not sure if that chat functionality appears for you on your uh
mobile version uh but if you're on a web or mobile device right now you should be able to access the Q&A module and uh be able to insert any commentary as you'd like one of the first ones that we just received Mr bing uh a couple days ago I
watched a video on Instagram with my 9-year-old that discussed why young minds should avoid social media does using social media as a tool to convince my daughter to stay away from social media make sense
i think that is also paradoxical when I'm thinking about it as well because how do you convince somebody that you should be off the device that you're showing them the data and statistics
and metrics for yeah it's it's you know it's a difficult line to walk uh and I I've seen some of my friends with kids try to walk that line And it's a work in progress none of us are perfect um the
reality is we we have children that were born into smartphones and as noted the pure pressure to have these phones is enormous um so how do we develop a balance i mean from a school district point of view um and we'll have these
discussions moving forward you know we have a policy of no cell phone use in our schools K to8 which uh we are really going to enforce next year um as you know many of us uh a couple of at the middle school level we we purchased
yonder packets uh where we have around 200 students currently using those packets um we are considering moving those Yonder packets to our new freshman academy that we're launching uh and and really looking at a possible ban of of
smartphones at the uh K to8 level meaning students would could come in lock their phone in their locker and and and not have it throughout the day and then pick it up when they leave uh obviously we know students need it when they're walking home or waiting for rides we're fully aware of that
um so these are some of the discussions we're having uh at amongst our senior leadership team uh amongst uh our partnership with with uh Rachel and also amongst our our our board members so uh moving forward we're going to be opening
up those conversations but um you know I think the more we talk about and I'm I I am going to use the word addiction to these smartphones I think uh the better and the more the share the more we share our stories go ahead Ashai i'm sorry
no worries um the next one says "Being intentional with myself about what I need before I pick up my phone." I think that is a really great way to not get distracted by what other notifications may pop up
on your screen or something that may detract you from whatever your goal was while picking up that device yeah intentionality to me that's a perfect word appreciate you using that word uh we utilize it with our students all the time um that idea of being
intentional about what you want to do uh and sticking with it any more yeah our next one i often use I'm working as an excuse when I'm on a device i think the biggest challenge for us as working parents is setting
boundaries around work and prioritizing when it is family time 100% i think an easy start for that and uh is is uh when you're eating whether you're just eating with your child or
children or eating as a a family or out to eat um you know it's it's a no cell phone usage uh policy um we've slowly I could I'm just speaking as a father now we've now slowly moved that into holidays as well
in in my family so we've we've hung tight with not using not using that cell phone while we're eating uh we've moved it into holidays we just obviously had our Easter Passover um as soon as we we
go in to celebrate that phone I collect that phone and put it away with my phone um and I think that's again going back to the idea of being intentional uh taking my phone with my daughter's phone and putting it on the table somewhere so
she sees I'm also giving up my phone as well go ahead Aan wonderful we love your idea of a phone free Sunday i just started doing a phone free Saturday for myself my goal is to get to
under one hour of screen time on Saturday so I can still text a little i'd like to borrow your idea of making it a household phone free day yeah I think it's a gradual release we often use that word that phrase in education
when we're trying to release the learning to our students but I think the same can apply uh to smartphones right it's not just taking it away because I'm sorry you're going to have some some hard push back from uh from your children and I think that idea of
gradual rel release release and letting them then get used to the new normal of that gradual release uh is important the next one sounds like the hate lucian let grow group of which we are fans
and Rachel I don't want to put you on the spot but I know you're you're kneede in this are are you seeing any strategies that families are are utilizing to limit screen time yeah thanks so much Mr bing um we're definitely hearing from families all
sorts of things they're they're trying what's working what's not working like I said we're having lots of meetings in people's homes um talking about this and so a couple of the big ones we've heard working for folks are definitely designating times of the day at home as
phone free or screen free so you know the dining room table or the kitchen table is a phone free space um setting a particular time at night uh you know between 6:00 and 8 the adults are off the the screens or if your child has a screen you know after a certain time the
the screens are are put away um we recently saw an interesting recommendation for folks who already maybe have a place where all the phones and devices have to sort of go uh to park for the night um to make that be in a place that's like not easy to get to
and not tempting um to people so definitely carving out those spaces and time and place as phone free um and device free places we're hearing people really trying um and having success with
because it's not then a constant negotiation you're not having that conversation that fight all the time it's just this is this is what it is and it's hard it's not easy totally it's not easy yes it is not easy i can tell you
for myself you know I'm addicted to my phone i'm addicted to scrolling and different things work for different people so for me I have an app blocker called Freedom i pay like $6 a month for it and I can set a period of time where
I'm blocking myself from my guilty pleasures which are Instagram Facebook and Zillow scrolling um but my husband that's not really you know the thing that that gets him um and he puts his phone in black and white mode instead of
color and that sort of short circuits that sort of casino slot machine um effect and that's what works for him so you're right it's super hard and I think the best thing to do is like talk to your friends talk to your peers like have these conversations and try out
different things and see what works for your family thanks Rachel 100% uh I think what you just heard in in uh Jonathan's interview are these four reforms he noted no smartphones before high school no social
media before age 16 phone free schools and more childhood play and independence and we'll we'll touch on that moving forward we're seeing a lot of evidence and research around the whole childhood play issue that we'll share with you um you know pretty pretty
straightforward if you've read the book uh soon after teens got iPhones they started getting more depressed the heaviest users were also most depressed while those who spent more time in face-to-face activities such as on sports teams and in religious communities were the healthiest um he's
got some great research and data on that as you can see we won't go too deep into into the uh graph but I can tell you and I'm sure I see Dr gilbert's here I know um over the last five years uh the
amount of students with anxiety has skyrocketed and I I'm I am I don't want to overuse that word it has skyrocketed um he talks often about the idea of
students being anti-fragile in the book uh and I I always had the conversation with parents uh that young children and I I was an elementary teacher fourth and fifth grade uh young children are a lot
more resilient than adults uh right something could happen to a child on a Thursday and they totally forget it on a Friday um we're not seeing that as much over the last five years that resilience and that idea of anti- being
anti-fragile uh we're not seeing as much of it especially amongst our our older students and high school students thank you so much uh Mr bing are you progressing through slides right now as well
not happening yeah right now we're just seeing the Chrome tab um there was a question earlier based on the quote that you began um that you tell your family could you also tell us where that quote in
that passage that you read at the beginning of our session was from uh Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carol it's great got to get the screen back up one of the next comments that we had
from the our group we definitely need them to see us having a healthy relationship with technology and prioritize human relationships and I'll go through some more of the comments that we may have
missed everything we're talking about today also applies to TV viewing so it's tough for my husband and I to lecture our son about screen usage when we watch so much TV before bed ourselves
uh and I feel like in a especially how we're receiving news content uh I know myself I'm personally reading a lot of articles online but if there's a way to have the news on in the background I'm watching more of it uh as I'm also
writing and doing so much other things but it's important to have that time where there's less media consumption and not as much uh new screen time being brought in ashia I'll also add I think
it can be helpful um and I've tried with this with my kids to talk with them about the different types of screen time and different types of screens and why we use them so uh you know when I'm watching TV it's I do this to relax and
we do it a little bit at night and we make sure we don't go overboard and sometimes we do and it feels good and sometimes we do and it feels bad um and so I think kids kind of get it um when you can talk about it honestly with them
um similar when I'm on my phone all day because I work from home and I can pick up my kids but that means sometimes I have to take a call um I see someone in the comments is saying you know as John Height says these aren't phones they're supercomputers we do everything on them like there's a lot of bad things about
them but there's also a lot of great things about them and so I try to narrate to my kids what I'm doing i have my phone out right now because I'm looking at a map because I don't know where we're going and the map's on my phone or I have my phone out right now because I just got an important message
that I that I need to read um and that's at least made me feel better about when I have to be using my phone um in front of the kids i completely agree and I think that's almost a genius way of approaching it because you're then promoting proper use
of your device so even if somebody is looking at you constantly being on your phone if you're somebody that has to respond to a lot of emails or quite often has to communicate through those phones if you are seen by actually doing
work content while you're on that device I I think that's really impressionable um for youngsters um another commentary in our chat our devices now serve multiple purpose we do everything from checking
the time to reading books to working everything is done on our phone this includes the medium used to reach schools how do you reconcile the need to be digital and bring presence into the world yeah I think the more experiences you
can share with your child the better i know the author talks about free play uh um as an option um I know as as a family I try to and again this is coming from
an educator's viewpoint i I try to give my daughter as many experiences as possible no matter how simple they are whether it's a a walk in the forest walking the dogs whatever that may be I I want my
daughter to experience real life uh and be able to have conversations i found my I found a friend who actually which I thought was a great idea because I used it in the classroom has conversation starters that they utilize with their child i have an index card and and with
conversation startersh because we all know that sometimes that conversation gets dry um and they shared it with me and I've been using it and I had an aha moment because I use conversation starters in the classroom all the time and never really thought of using with
my own child uh and and and it's been wonderful you know once you get them started talking it's not a bad thing that they won't stop can you see now are we good we are perfect thank you so these are the uh the four reforms we just talked
about no smartphones for high school no social media phone preschools more childhood play and independence um as we as we noted we're seeing as educators in schools uh anxiety rates significantly rising um
uh we also see obviously a high correlation to individuals reliance on smartphones um so to me and what we're noticing are the two go pretty much hand
inand we've got many students that are really looking for that feedback that they get on on social media on a regular basis to the point where it becomes addictive and it and it really starts uh to be part of their of who they think
they are um and as we move forward over the next to me two to five years and AI starts becoming more and more prevalent [Music] um I dare say the future is a bit
uncertain however as Rachel noted I do believe there are things we can do to to really ground our kids um I'm going to throw out some more Ed lingo but and for those of you who are educators on this
this you know Maslo's hierarchy of needs is uh the bomb it you know first came around in 1942 still relevant today um we know this as a as educators
if a child's uh physiological needs are not met you know your basics water food shelter they cannot learn if a child does not feel safe in school they cannot
learn their brain shuts down uh moving up they're looking for love and belonging they all are that moves up to esteem you know respect self-esteem status recognition strength and freedom and then finally self actualization where we all want to get our students
someday um but you know Maso's hierarchy of hierarchy of needs is very important we often talk about one phys physiology needs and then the safety needs before students can can even start to learn we want to create an
environment of safety and uh make sure basic needs are being met uh for that child uh before we start the learning process so for me as a parent I've always kept this in mind i want to make
sure my child feels safe her basic needs are being met um you know before we start these deep conversations before we we talk about uh the impact of of smartphone usage and I'm sure Rachel can
comment on this um my my sixth grader is really great at rebuttal you I can as noted in one of the chats um I can show them as show her as many facts as possible she's a great rebuttalist at as
a as a sixth grader um so I often find myself going back and forth and in my head I'm going I know better than this uh but uh I don't do it I've never done it in the classroom but I'm doing with my own child so I often I'm sure many of
you go through the same thing um and it's it's difficult so one of the things I do want us to take a minute and really think about is um because the idea of childhood comes up in these first five chapters quite
often uh so uh what do you remember from your childhood that connects to the description of what childhood should be like in the book um and he talks about that idea of free play of students playing you know unsupervised going to the park on their
own um parents even if you have younger kids parents staying back 10 20 feet instead of intervening letting kids figure out things on their own uh in that play setting so I'm wondering when when you do self-reflect and think about
your childhood um what does play look like what did it look like uh when you were younger when you were a third grader fifth grader sixth grader eighth grader what what did play look like uh we'll give you a
minute to put some stuff in in the box um and we're going to touch on this a little further moving forward especially how it uh inter interconnects with uh some of the things we're seeing especially in our early grades our prek through uh through one but we let's get
give you the minute to just uh put some ideas in the chat box what did play look like when you were you were young this is great uh the first comment uh that answers this question being outside in
the backyard riding bikes hanging out with the dog playing board games in the family room uh I recall being able to bike on my own without my parents at a very young age maybe eight or nine
the next one the major difference is that we were not accompanied by parents at all times we never relied on a parent for play and learned life skills on our own the next
one in fourth grade my friends and I would go downtown on half days to get a slice of pizza go to the candy store and just goof around and really the next one is saying childhood just taught so many
individuals how to keep themselves occupied without needing much we we talked about some solutions or ideas um I can speak personally we started the idea of board games
um over the last I'd say four months and also introducing card games um and it's has 100% engaged my sixth grader um you know it it carves out a good hour and a half of time just where
we're interacting simple way to do it but you know I I I never thought in this generation I'd have a closet full of board games that are that are stacked back and now she's at the point of asking if we if we could play them
awesome friday night pizza and board games biking to the beach the library friends uh all hanging out from when they were in third grade i know I've heard from some of my friends that like we can't do this with
our kids because there aren't like pay like you can't do this and not have a smartphone because how can you get in touch with your kid or your parent there aren't landlines anymore there aren't payoneses right like I'm sure we all remember or
maybe it was just me when you called your parent collect from a pay phone and it would say at the sound of the tone please say your name and then it would go beep and you would go hey mom it's me come pick me up from the deli and then hang up and like your parents knew to get you um and so that's why the
smartphone alternatives are very cool like the dumb phones the watches because kids can have this freedom um but still be able to get in touch because the reality is there aren't landlines or payoneses anymore so like right it's nice that there's this in between kind
of device that we can let our kids have some freedom to roam around town um but still be able to get in touch when they need to i just picked my daughter up a track phone for $35 and a card flip phone she can utilize yeah my sixth grader has
a flip phone um two of his friends have flip phones it helped that his friends parents and I talked together and we shared you know resources with each other and all agreed to keep them on the flip phone um and they've been fine so
far he got through sixth grade and he's he's doing great so I'm I'm glad these options exist the next one kids need kids to play with um sometimes there's a a challenge to balance over balance overscheduling kids
with structured activities rather than something more creative that allows them to play with their peers yeah I think a great quote from the book overp protection in the real world and underproduction in the virtual world are two main reasons why children born after
1995 became the anxious generation i think that's important to note and I think you saw it in the interview u many countries are putting in a lot stricter guard rails uh I believe the United States will be next uh this state has been very uh forward thinking about that
the governor has come out and and and discussed it banning cell phones uh so I think those guard rails at a federal level uh will also be very helpful moving forward um what I did find interesting
in this book uh the idea of a phone based childhood is it it replaces the hours children would otherwise spend playing in the real world as many of you noted in the chat um you know he goes as far as saying children are being
deprived of of childhood uh so I I you know what I I'm wondering if you agree with that statement that nowadays compared to how we grew up um that children are being deprived of that childhood and I'll go back to what
Rachel just noted i remember the the collect calls to my mom pick me up real quick and hang up so I didn't have to pay for it uh you know that that was that's how we how we did it um you know when I think of my childhood
um well I often think what my daughter is going to when she turns 25 or 30 what she is going to remember about her childhood is it going to be smartphones what what what is going to be her big memory about her
childhood and one of the things that that was interesting uh is what did you get from just playing as a kid what benefits do you think your students would gain or children if you allowed more time just to play and I know many of you put some wonderful points
uh in the chat he he really talks about some positive things that you get out of play as simple as eye contact uh as simple as as knowing when not to talk and when to listen and when to talk and you know just real simple things that we
took for granted growing up that I don't think we could take for granted anymore um you know we see it in the classroom all the time uh we have to spend nowadays a week to two weeks really helping kids understand how to work in
groups how to collaborate um how to start a conversation how to keep eye contact we we we talk about those executive functioning skills uh so often and I I I do believe these smartphones have
undercut a lot of the executive functioning skills that that we developed uh as children i agree there's a a really beautiful comment in the chat i use this thought when I talk to my daughter about
eliminating the screen these are precious years she doesn't want to look back on childhood and most remember her using the screen or how many likes she got or how many Tik Tok videos she made or or or
watched um you know it's and I think the more we share our personal stories the better you know there's nothing wrong with sharing how we grew up and the things we used to do and and again I think it's going back to just simple
simple walks taking that time uh putting down that phone for starting with a half hour and showing your your your your child you're doing the same so you know what we are seeing on our end especially at the K to one level
this year um are high discipline issues our social workers are spending I would say about 50% of their day at the elementary level in the K and first grade classrooms uh and that is not the
norm uh if you look back over the last five years most of their time would have been spent in third fourth and fifth uh they are spending a lot more time uh in the KN1 classrooms uh nowadays and what we are
seeing is if you if you're familiar with our prek program our prek program is really based around play uh you know it's it's a program monori it's it's it's guided play it's structured play students are out of their seats about
70% of the day uh really engaging in structured play activities um now from preK we're expecting them to make the transition into kindergarten where they're actually in seats for 60% of the time uh and only out of their
seats 40% of the time so a lot of the work we're doing moving forward is trying to put more structured play into our kindergarten level and first grades um because we believe kids will get just as much as out of learning that way than
they would being in a seat um looking at something on on a whiteboard or an active board and the research shows that uh that hands-on activities and kids working with other peers really pushes things into long-term memory quicker than just
hearing things from an adult sitting you know while you're sitting in a seat uh so some of the work we're doing is trying to put a little more structured play taking that prek model and some of the things they do in prek and putting that structured play into our K level as
well and if I had a nickel for every email I did receive in regards to screen time uh with our laptops at the early level um I'd be taking this Zoom from the
Bahamas um so that is something I'm you know I'll be very transparent that is something we are working on uh we are working on trying to lower the amount of Chromebook usage and screen time especially at our early levels um so I promise you we're working on that that
that is a work in progress and hopefully we'll start seeing some difference over the next couple of years as we're engaging in this As noted free play means kids of different ages playing without adults organizing their activities or even intervening except in emergencies um you
know what reservations do you have about allowing your students to play this way you know just looking in the chat that's how most of us grew up playing uh and my question would be I don't know if this is a more or less dangerous world than
when we grew up um and that's keeping in mind that we have access to news you know a million more times than we did growing up uh so we're actually made more aware of what's happening in the world than we did when we were growing
up but you know I will put up I will put out there that I I don't believe this is a more dangerous world than it was when we were growing up um I just believe we're seeing more of it because of the technology TV social media um I do believe there's opportunities for our
students to do free play uh I I if we teach and train our students about right and wrong um you know I know many of you commented about that in the chat um and I know and trust me um we we see
it all the time we hear we hear the terminology of helicopter patterns that terminology has become very popular over the last decade or so um we also see the other side of it i mean I I I interact with many parents who believe in free
play uh and and do give their kids that freedom uh with training and I say that with training they've trained their their their children they've talked about these things um and you often see these
students really accelerate in the classroom especially in group work especially when it comes to being a leader especially in critical thinking you know certain traits that we look for that uh go beyond learning content you
know it's wonderful to know when the Constitution was signed but if I could train a student in critical thinking or or or to be a leader those are traits that carry through for the rest of their lives in any in any environment those 21st century skills
you'll often hear your your child's teacher talking about are vitally important they are transferable for the rest of their lives one of the comments that just came in Mr bing not all families are aligned on this topic which can create some
difficulty i find discussion can be divisive and it's having an effect on my daughter who spends times with and which parents I'm friendly with i'm not sure there's any way around that if uh there's opposing sides to uh screen time
and free play i have found myself nowadays every conversation is divisive i'm gonna be very honest with you i hate to say that it's seemed like a Debbie Downer but um you know I think
we have to be very and and I've learned this over the last couple of years as my daughter got older uh very particular about who our our child engages with uh I think it is important to have similar philosophies in regards to uh
parents that you're letting your your children engage with um that's what I that's what I try I try to give a better understanding of my daughter's good friends um you know again I'm very lucky to have a lot of
hearers of education and background uh and feel a pretty good read of character uh and can spend time with a with one of my uh daughter's friends and can really see that there's certain characteristics and traits that been that have been uh
worked on or worked with this this this individual and and the parents are doing a wonderful job and it's somebody I want my my child to hang around with and learn from i I think we have to be maybe more selective moving forward i you know Rachel maybe you have an answer i don't
I mean for me it's it's it's it's difficult because you know many conversations nowadays are divisive so how do you approach these conversations when you do want your daughter or son to be part of a group uh and there may be
different philosophy differences i feel like personally this is one of the hardest things um for sure is the divisive nature of this this conversation um for me kind of the easy part of the
conversation is when it comes to safety so you know is my kid playing at a house where there's unlimited access to internet in bedrooms that to me is like a safety issue um you know what are what is my kid being exposed to or what's
going on on that device um you know that could actually harm them so I I feel like there's like a kind of continuum in my mind of like what are the what are the the issues around screen use that like as a parent it's my job to protect
my child from harm and so like what are sort of those lines and then what are the other areas where uh you know it it can be a meaningful conversation um that that can also have a productive outcome so just as an example um you
know we have friends who have different views and uses um and permissions for their kids with devices and things like that and we've had really great conversations around like hey when there's a sleepover what can we agree on can we agree like we're going to collect
any smartphones can we agree they're not doing YouTube you know behind closed doors can and those conversations I have found have been really um helpful so that's not an answer to this really huge question but just a couple insights from
uh my own experience yep yep and I think that idea of trying not to be judgmental is also important um we're naturally go to judgmental just how we were brought up but trying not to be
judgmental uh is important uh so I do want to be respectful of everyone's time it's now 8:00 uh you know we talked about some challenges and we also talked about some solutions i do want to make sure we're emphasizing whether that be the idea of starting small uh you know
creating personal experiences for your your child no matter how simple they are board games the idea of sentence starters to have conversations with your child um I think it's important and also to
realize you're not alone in this work um and it's difficult work um but it's doable there there's hundreds of thousands of success stories and what I have found most of
those success stories are are people that are are parents that are working with other parents as Rachel noted i mean uh so you know TM oncreen to me is is wonderful always will be um and they have a wealth of resources
uh that you can utilize um I do want to let you know we'll be sending out uh part two of this series book studies probably within the next couple weeks give you some time to read the next uh five chapters uh he really
gets into how what the impact of smartphones is on on on on genders especially our females uh and having a a sixth grade daughter that's extremely important to myself um I do want to leave everybody with one thing that
resonates with me if you want to put something that resonates with you from the book or from this conversation in the chat that would be great but you know one of the things that really stuck in my mind is the idea of these smartphones being relationship and
experience blockers you know when I put it in that simple paradigm it it's it sticks with me uh that and I and I see it that these smartphones are are are really relationship blockers they they're
experience blockers uh and that idea of gradual release is something that's that's pretty important um Rachel you want to wrap up with anything and then I'll turn over to Ashia to read any last comments yeah thanks so much i appreciate um that I'll share my big
insight i know we're just talking about the first couple chapters but the inspiring thing to me about this book is the idea of collective action that together uh we really can make a difference in our kids' lives and um there were some questions in the chat about you know what was I mentioning
about this you know waiting or delaying smartphones um and one of the big collective actions uh across the United States this idea of the wait until 8th pledge which means you go to this website wait until 8th you sign a pledge that says I'm pledging to delay giving
my kid a smartphone until the end of 8th grade listen if you change your mind of course it's okay um but what happens is when you sign the pledge as soon as 10 families from your grade at your school sign the pledge you get notified of everyone in your grade who has also
committed to be on this journey to try to delay the smartphone and I read the list of there are 25 fourth grade families at Clinton that's a quarter of the grade who have committed to not give their kids a smartphone um and when I read that list to my fourth grade
daughter the relief on her face she said "Mom I thought I'd be the only one uh without a smart woman and I feel so good knowing I won't be." Um so uh you know just want to just share really clearly the idea behind this collective action
there's a way to do it we are doing it here in South Orange Maplewood we've have a hundred new families sign the pledge just in the last month so if this is something that interests you you are not alone we are doing it and it's really exciting um so so thanks thanks
for that well Shy Dr coven did you want to join in i know you're the father of a a daughter as well oh yeah thank uh thank you no this has been a very great conversation uh sorry my camera was off for most of the time I was traveling uh
but I learned a lot actually too because I have a partner she's barely adamant against uh the screen time and I'm I'm the culprit that she's having to work on so the the thing that resonated with me tonight is as the adult as the the the
parent you know how do you be intentional about supporting uh the lack of screen time and the importance of um you know limiting that screen time and I'm actually going to look into the pledge for ETH and share that with my partner that may be something we want to
do in our community as well and also you know the whole thing around board games and what we can do and so um I agree with everything that was said and just to let you know Mr beam and Rachel I learned something tonight too so
appreciate it thank you Dr gilbert go ahead Shai you want to wrap us up before we we wrap up there's one really great comment that was left in the chat i'm really grateful for this discussion my daughter feels like the only one
without a phone it is a lonely road i didn't know anyone she knew on the wait until 8th for sixth grade thanks for making me feel less alone uh and I think overall that's the goal of uh our book
study series um that Mr bing is conducting for our community uh and I really appreciate the time that we've all had together uh really thank you to Rachel Weiner from Team Unscreen here in South Orange and Maplewood um thank you
for joining us for our book study with Superintendent Jason Bing assistant superintendent Dr kevin Gilbert and myself Draper this will also be sent to our uh attendees that are in the chat so
we'll be making sure we'll get the uh recording from today and we'll also summarize many of the questions and comments that were tossed inside of our chat and because you are a part of our inaugural group we'll be sure to make sure we're sending you tailored uh
invitations and followup for our next future sessions if you signed up using your email um inside of our WebEx but thank you uh this will constantly be evolving and improving upon the next sessions that we have going on and you
can find more information on our upcoming book study sessions for the anxious generation at somdk12.org/connect thanks so much and we hope you have a fantastic evening
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