Want to welcome everyone to our HIV parent seminar, understanding HIV, clicks, comments, and kindness, bullying in the digital age. Um, just so you know, we did present this on April 22nd and we did record it, but there were so
many technical difficulties for those of you who may have been on that we are retaping this um because we were uh had some issues. So, we're retaping it. Um, just uh Nathaniel Nathaniel and I are here. Um, this is Nathaniel. He's our
student intern. He's going to be presenting because he created some of the slides on this presentation and we're super proud of him. Um, so he is going to be presenting as well. So, I am going to get started. Let's see.
All right. So, I always like to start off with explaining we have goals for each school year around bullying. We've started that a few years ago. Um really so that we can continue to grow um as a district and support our kiddos. So, the
four things we're working on this year are planning some digital citizenship lessons and coordinating some supports for families around digital citizenship. um working with our families to expand your understanding and how you can uh
support your student um around bullying um staff training and teacher training around social emotional learning and also some targeted support for the students who initiate negative experiences whether they're bullying
another student or some other negative interaction. How do we support those kiddos? So those are the things that we're working on. I would say we are uh I always say completed but ongoing because these things should never be completed but we are we've done what
we've said we were going to do. So three of those are completed and ongoing and we are still in the planning stages of uh building some curriculum and lessons. So we're working on that. So also at each school uh there are
anti-bullying specialists. So I'd like to just share those with you. So, these are the anti-bullying specialists at the elementary schools. Also, Dr. Gilbert's name is on there. He is our coordinator for anti-bullying. And then here are the middle schools and
high school. Just to remind everyone if they saw our first HIV presentation that in order for something to be defined an official harassment, intimidation or bullying, a founded case, that means that it did
happen. Um, and it means it's bullying. It has to hit five criteria. So in the first column you see it has to be a gesture or something written or physical. Something has to happen,
right? Something has to happen. Electronic communication, but something. And then the second part of that is the something that happens has to be motivated based on someone's perceived or actual characteristics. So it could
be someone's race, color, religion, gender, something like that. that's um uh actual characteristic or perceived someone who uh looks like in quotes a particular uh religion or sexual
orientation or or something like that a perception of that person. Um so uh either way um it needs to be motivated by by something like that. The third column uh the the third thing or the middle column is it can happen anywhere.
It can happen on school grounds or off school grounds and it must substantially disrupt or interfere with the students rights at school. Um and so um that our our team has a set of questions that
really goes into um was this a mean moment which happens or did it disrupt the child enough um that it would be considered bullying. And then the last column, it has to hit one of those categories. Doesn't have to hit them
all, but either a child of that age should have known better or what was said or done was insulting or demeaning or it creates a hostile environment by causing physical or emotional harm. So, something has to meet all of these
criterias in order for it to be an HIV. Um, but I just always like to remind parents that something might be not be an HIV, but it doesn't mean we're not going to address it. So, uh, behaviors can fall into three
different charact uh, categories. The first, it could be an HIV, could be harassment, intimidation, and bullying. But if it's not, it could be a code of conduct violation. Right? So saying things that are bias and hate speech is against our code of
conduct. So it might be HIV, it might also or either be code of conduct. Um and then the third thing is it might not be either of those things. Maybe it's a student conflict and maybe students um are are in an argument. Um it doesn't
rise to the level of code of conduct or bullying, but we still need to help the students. And so we take part in supporting the students across all of these areas. And just a a snapshot of what we might do. Um we would support the victims, we
would support the offender, and we would rebuild relationships. So whether it's an HIV, a code of conduct violation, or a student conflict, we take the following steps, right? might be counseling or friendship groups or check-ins for our victims. Could be
lessons on bullying uh or or being unkind. It could be conferences with the students or parents or other uh or a discipline measure. Um we might take part in mediation or restorative conversation, but generally that happens
only if all parties agree. Um, and if there's student conflict, we would support the students separately and together and possibly build some social skills in. So, I just want to pause and let you know that all of the blue slides that
we're seeing were made by Nathaniel. Um, he took part in creating this presentation with me and so excited that he did that. Um, he is part of our new intern program. Nathaniel, you might be one of our f first interns ever, right?
You were like the maybe the second person in the program or the first person in the program. So, >> I think I like second. I think so. >> So, and he's he's working hard. So, um we're going to go over some digital citizenship uh around that and cyber
bullying. Um so, we're just going to go if we click. So, um the digital world has brought some new issues, right? Um, I I'm I'm a little bit older than Nathaniel in my day. Uh, if you were mad at someone,
there might have been a note passed. There might have been some mean words at school, but it didn't follow you home. Um, no one was calling your house to do some mean things cuz your parents would pick up. This is very a very different world. Um, and so we need to know all of
the things that could go on. Nathaniel, this is you. >> Yep. So two main problems have seemed to emerge especially within recent years. Obviously we're talking about now with cyber bullying which bases bullying like how you see it in school but through
digital means. So that can mean messages, social media content and usually does it through an intimidating or threatening nature. And while this presentation is about it I think something also important to mention that we'll continue to mention is irresponsible AI use. this at times and
unfortunately is starting to become a more a more integrated process with cyber bullying and being used more with it. So understanding how to use it is important to both identify it but also keep you you safe both you and your
family safe. So cyber bullying happens in a few places like I said before social media. So you might see it Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok, Facebook, probably go on and on. So you'll see messaging apps, online forums like Discord, Reddit, um you
might see gaming communities. So if you're if your child plays any games, you play any games, you might experience that somewhere or hopefully you haven't. Um, it doesn't happen just in these places, but it's it's pretty important to avoid them to
due to our due to our sorry due to our integration of society, you can't really avoid them, but it's best to know how to navigate them in order to avoid cyber bullying or your child being cyberbullied. So, examples of cyber bullying is doxing. Doxing meaning they release
their private info unwillingly. So like a social security number, where you live, ID, things like that. Posting mean or hurtful pieces of media, threat to hurt someone or causing self harm. These usually reference personal characteristics like sex, um gender
identity, um religion, things like that. Um lying, hate speech, spreading hurtful rumors, creating fake accounts, and usually like gang up on someone through targeting them. Okay. So, there's lots of signs that we can be
aware of um signs and effects of cyber bullying. So, um if you notice your child's could be increased use of device or decreased, right? If it's increased, it it's possibly that they keep checking to see what's going on or decreased is that it's so overwhelming that they
can't look anymore. um possibly hiding your the screen when when others come near. Uh that's a red flag. Um disconnection from peers if you see that the friend groups are are shifting. Now that happens in certainly in middle school and high school um more often,
but uh checking in on that is really important. Um another sign is loss of interest in activities and avoiding social situations. And we have some effects of cyber bullying. So if a student is being bullied uh with cyber bullying um they
might avoid social situations. It can bring on depression and anxiety uh a disconnection of peers and loss of interest. Um you know some some physical responses some stomach ache or headache and and some academic struggles. And what's interesting is the signs and the
effects are are similar. Um but it is always important to you know ask questions and um you know some families uh go through the phones some families um do not go through the phones that's a personal decision but knowing what apps
your children have access to. Understanding how those work are important. Okay. So what's really interesting is it's not only the students who are um bullied who
have effects. Kids who bully others also have effects on on them. So uh kids who bully others are more likely to be depressed, anxious or lonely uh experience uh self harm or suicidal thoughts. They're more likely to engage
in violent and risky behaviors such as alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. more likely to have poor academic achievement, miss or drop out of school, and experience aggressive impulsive behavior with higher risk of legal issues. They're also more likely to
perpetuate dating violence and potentially become abusive towards partners or children as adults. So what I want you to understand is if your student if you get a call from from your child's uh school that maybe your child
is involved in bullying this doesn't mean that all of these things are going to happen immediately right but it means that if we don't break the cycle down of negative interaction that these things could possibly be the effects. And so it's really important for us to work as
partners with the school and the families to make sure we we move our kids off the path of bullying if they are on it. Okay. So what to do if you see a case of cyber
bullying? Please have your children or you take pictures for evidence. Um, I know on Snapchat if you take a picture, the other person knows. So, you can use your phone and just snap a picture of the phone. Um, you can report the incident on the website on on the
website on the app. Um, you can block the person. Uh, we can review privacy settings on that app and of course give the support to to the person being bullied. And we always tell our kiddos, tell an adult or person in authority,
right? tell your parent, tell tell your teacher, tell someone who can help you um if if you're unable if it doesn't stop, right? Um and so that's really important and we teach our kiddos that this is what they should do also.
Yeah. So the best remedy for stopping cyber bullying not not just if you have a case but before that is doing a lot of things. first talking with your child. Obviously, obviously, you should check in with your child. Even if they have good good grades or they seem fine, they
may not always be fine. So, that's not something you should regularly assume. Um, if possible, follow your account on social media. Many kids happen to have like a ghost account or a private account that's away from their parents. So, keep that in mind. If needed, limit
limit screen time. Consider modding the apps. Um, I would recommend staying up to date and informed at lace tech. Um, social media platforms and apps that kids may be using. Um, establish rules online. Make your values and positions clear on cyber bullying as well as
reviewing your own online habitat. So, children are always modeling our behavior. So, that's something important to think about. >> Okay. I think we have a video next. Okay. Okay, Nathaniel, you're going to uh give me a a thumbs up if
uh you can hear it. If that works for you, Hey. All right. Hey, hey, Okay. So, I think just so you know, we
recognize that that is from Canada. Um, but it was a it's a great video to show your kids anyway. um just so that they um you know they they feel armed and ready for if something happens like this.
>> Yes. So uh going on to our next part I know earlier I mentioned we talk about it here it is. So AI we we've all heard it in within the past six years our kids may use it for school. It's a new forms technology that uses that allows it to
think and predict. And just just clarification when I'm saying AI I'm simply talking about generative AI. AI and generative AI is two different things. Generative means that it will take something that already exists or maybe he's given a prompt and create something based off that prompt. So
think about that before. So if you are like think about your position on day just think about that before you say anything or or take an actual stance. Um, it's been used with chat bots like chatbt and Gemini and it's used to create AI media like music, songs,
pictures, and voices, caricaturures or videos. It can have many uses, but unfortunately in recent years, it's been a very large tool within cyber bullying as well as some as well as other things that aren't so savory. So knowing how to
identify AI content can be important within the internet space to keep both you and your child spa safe. So first off, if you have the more nonrealistic um p pictures and media, this will usually a very popular AI art art form
art form is Studio Gibli. It's based off of a I too much, but it's basically based off of a Japanese cartoon. Um, you'll notice this very yellowish tint what with somehow a balance with vibrant colors and a soulless look with small
mistakes in the image. For example, if you look at the one I have here, the palette only has green and yellow. So, you want to look for that. Keep in mind though, as AI is getting better, we're going to see less and less of these mistakes and look more real. So, I'd recommend even if you don't want to use
AI or you don't like it to keep updates on it so you know what to look for if you want to identify AI content. And for more realistic things, you'll usually see a distinct blur in the background maybe on the on the thing it's it's making an uncanny smoothness,
similar facial structures no matter what you really generate, improper anatomy, and there'll us be a facing towards like the camera or about where the camera would be. that's usually less reliable. Um, keep in mind I'm talking main I mean talking about AI pictures, but there's
AI videos will usually be nonsensical after a while and there's also AI music as well. If you want to go more in depth of that, I highly recommend that. There's a lot of good sources where you can um experience it if you do think it's interesting or you can figure out
what makes it tick or how to identify it. So, I recommend look at those if you are interested. And just to talk a little bit about how we're we're seeing this, um we are seeing in cyber bullying in South Orange Maplewood and across the state and
country um kiddos creating fake videos and faked uh photos to embarrass someone. Um pictures uh creating fake nude pictures of others, which um is not legal. Um we're we're seeing people
voice over and do fake audio clips. Um we've also seen uh across the country mimicking students writing. So you might put in a prompt in chatbt of like write like this student, right? And maybe you
have some examples first and then it can you can paste that into your uh social media app and cause some drama. um people logging into each other's um social media accounts and and doing and posting some of these things um and
targeted harassment, right? Um and high volume attacks. We're seeing that, you know, someone's texting, I say texting because that's what I use as an older person, but someone's snapping 10, 20, 40 times in an hour to make someone um
so overwhelmed with the harassment. And so these are things uh that AI can do, right? Because they can generate a lot of content at once um and can be very scary for a child. We always teach our our kids to be
upstanders and not bystanders. So um we don't want them to add on and pile on if someone's being bullied. We want them to stand up for that student. So we want them to pause before sharing, right? Think before you post. So, if you get something that looks like it's bullying
as a student, you should not forward it. You should stop it. Maybe you say stop in the chat. Speak up or or go tell them to stop. Uh take screenshots for evidence of the messages. Tell an adult
and also support the victim. Support the person who's being bullied. Be a friend. So, this is what we're teaching our kiddos. Um this is a an extreme form of bullying and generally uh sex tortion is
generally um doesn't come from uh another another student in the district. It generally it's but we're noticing it's coming from uh larger criminal organizations. Um but can happen um from one person to another that know each
other. It's when someone threatens to share your private images and force you uh to send money or favors. And so what normally happens is uh a generative AI picture um unless
there is a nude picture out there of this person is created. They send the victim the picture and say, "I'm going to send this to your family or friends if you don't give me $100." Um what we're seeing is that they
then send these messages for an hour or two over and over and over again and the person is so overwhelmed that they either pay the person or um of course they become very distressed. Um it's an
interesting line for families. Um, I have four teen kiddos myself in my own house. And so my message is always to my kids, please don't take uh nude pictures of yourself. And
if something like this ever comes to your phone, tell me immediately and don't touch your phone, right? Um, you have to say you have to say both things. Law enforcement is absolutely needs to be involved in this case. um because
sometimes these are from larger criminal organizations and you need to call law enforcement immediately. We will help with that if this happens. Um but please let your children know cuz if they don't know that um this is happening and we teach this in school too, but if they
don't understand it, they may think that um you know they're going to get in trouble. And so uh obviously this is no one's fault but the criminal. Um some online dangers warning signs is
uh extreme secret secrecy around devices becoming extremely upset after receiving messages uh unexplained requests for money or gift cards and pressure from online friends for personal information. And so sharing those red flags with your
children is important. And have a plan. Stay calm. Reassure your child they're not in trouble. Save the evidence. Don't delete anything. Don't turn off your accounts yet. Um you can block cut off uh cut off contact and find an official
school official or law enforcement immediately. Um for sex tortion cases. uh we here uh in the district provide digital citizenship lessons but it's always important to share these uh values of course across home and school.
So encourage respectful dialogue and positive interactions. We want to encourage empathetic behavior. How is your message going to affect others? Think about that before you hit send. Uh it's important for our kids to know that
nothing is gone from the internet ever, right? It is permanent. People are finding videos and pictures of someone, you know, 20 years ago. It's much easier to do today than it was it was 20 years ago. Things will stay around, right? Um
applying critical thinking. Not all information found online is true. respecting someone's privacy, asking permission before they post, and know how to get help, and use AI responsibly. So, those are all important digital
citizenship um tools. I want to take a moment and just remind our adults. Um, I know, uh, in my district and many other districts, the online chats among adults, your
community Facebook groups can get very, um, challenging and grown-ups can say mean things online. And we are seeing this happen more and more over the last several years um, across uh, the towns, across the state, and across the
country. And I just want to remind everyone that our kids are watching, right? Adults behaving badly online causes an increase in student bullying because modeling behavior is one of the key learning experiences in our children's
lives. And so if we step back and are not keyboard uh warriors on our keyboards and say mean things, we can teach our children not to do that. and and we're seeing an uptick. And so the children are watching and we're asking
all of our families to please use digital um apps responsibly in your own lives so that you're you can be models for for your kiddos. I love this poster. I I hang it in my house. So uh before you post, think, is
it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? And is it kind? Just so you know, you can report um HIVs or bullying on our website. Um you can go right at the top there's um in uh one
of the quick links there's reporting HIVs and you just go and click on it and you can report something anonymously. Our kiddos can report it that most of our kiddos who report are are 6th through 12th grade. Um but they can put in a report. You can put in a report.
This is how our teachers put in the reports. Um, and then we will look into uh the situation for you. And these resources are available on our new website. I just want to share that
we do have a new bullying website. I'm going to try and share it with you now. Hold on. Okay. Did it switch over, Nathaniel? Okay, perfect. All right. So, if you go on to our website and you go to district
services HIV and down here there is a toolkit and this is a great place for uh it talks about our hi anti-bullying curriculum and the parent letters that we send out each year about that
curriculum. um some supports on how to help your child through conflict and bullying, the definition of bullying, how you can file uh an investigation,
also some other resources on cyber bullying, being an upstander, little video, and all of our anti-bullying specialists. So those are all um important um notifications for you to have.
Okay. Um also we do have an organization who is looking to support uh specifically the the girls in the district around um some great social emotional learning and and positive interactions. Uh they asked
us to share a QR code with you. So here it is. They want to hear from you. And that is it. So I just want to take a moment and thank Nathaniel for all of his help. Um
I am loving this intern program and he did a beautiful job on our presentation. So thank you Nathaniel and thank you for being here everyone and this will be posted right on our website. Have a wonderful day.